The Greatest Moral Question of our Time

[DiscoBerry]

If you get pregnant form sitting in sperm carelessly discarded onto a classroom chair-should you get a smishsmortion?

There's this really awkward boy in our class named "Herman." Sometimes when the teacher goes out of the room, Herman covers his lap with his coat, puts his hands under the coat, and wiggles around a bit. No one ever says anything, but they make fun of him a lot out of class. Last week, Kris confessed to me that she's pregnant. She says that when we were doing group work in class, she sat in Herman's chair, and the chair was wet, but I don't believe her. That's not even possible, is it? I think she's making this up because her parents are very religious and are going to flip out. Now I'm really confused. Should I just tell Kris I don't believe her, and that what she's saying is wrong, or should I go to the principal or counselor or someone? Kris says her parents don't know yet.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/03/teen_pregnancy_can_you_get_knocked_up_from_sitting_in_semen_.html

[MadCatTLX]

If you get pregnant form sitting in sperm carelessly discarded onto a classroom chair-should you get a smishsmortion?

There's this really awkward boy in our class named "Herman." Sometimes when the teacher goes out of the room, Herman covers his lap with his coat, puts his hands under the coat, and wiggles around a bit. No one ever says anything, but they make fun of him a lot out of class. Last week, Kris confessed to me that she's pregnant. She says that when we were doing group work in class, she sat in Herman's chair, and the chair was wet, but I don't believe her. That's not even possible, is it? I think she's making this up because her parents are very religious and are going to flip out. Now I'm really confused. Should I just tell Kris I don't believe her, and that what she's saying is wrong, or should I go to the principal or counselor or someone? Kris says her parents don't know yet.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/03/teen_pregnancy_can_you_get_knocked_up_from_sitting_in_semen_.html

I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure this isn't possible.

[Distind]

It would be remarkably impressive if true. But there's almost certainly a less far fetched answer to this.

[e13]

S;erm can not survive too long outside of the body. By the time it's dry, it's done. She would have to have immediately sat down after he finished ejaculation, and then, somehow, the sperm would have had to penetrated all of her clothing layers and made it into the vagina, and then survived the hard trip sperm usually has to.

The chances of all these occurrences are a bajillion to one.

Source: http://www.babymed.com/info/sperm-life-how-long-do-sperm-live

[QueenofHearts]

I had a kid who used to do the same thing in one of my high school classes and no body ever got pregnant

[MadCatTLX]

At my school we once had a kid named William get caught spanking it in the bathroom. He earned the nickname wack-off willy. Then there was a girl that got caght fingering herself in math class, the teacher said "well if I knew geometry excited THAT much...".

[Itachirumon]

Damn, where do you guys live that this is a problem? Yeah I've felt myself up a little in class back in high school (usually adjusting) but it was never like a full on grope fest, certainly not long enough to splooge.

...How do kids, even awkward ones, not realize how just...full-on creepy that is? It's sad at the same time but still, eep.

[Old Viking]

Strange things happen.  Rush Limbaugh once had a disease contracted by kissing toilet seats.

[DasFuchs]

Strange things happen. Rush Limbaugh once had a disease contracted by kissing toilet seats.

He still does, just listen to the shit that comes out his mouth

[Witchyjoshy]

Strange things happen. Rush Limbaugh once had a disease contracted by kissing toilet seats.

He still does, just listen to the shit that comes out his mouth

I thought the shit coming out of his mouth was what diseased the toilets in the first place.

[Art Vandelay]

Damn, where do you guys live that this is a problem? Yeah I've felt myself up a little in class back in high school (usually adjusting) but it was never like a full on grope fest, certainly not long enough to splooge.

...How do kids, even awkward ones, not realize how just...full-on creepy that is? It's sad at the same time but still, eep.

I was just wondering the same thing myself.

[Cataclysm]

Strange things happen. Rush Limbaugh once had a disease contracted by kissing toilet seats.

He still does, just listen to the shit that comes out his mouth

I thought the shit coming out of his mouth was what diseased the toilets in the first place.

Chicken or the egg?

Or maybe Rush doesn't put his shit in the toilet, he puts on the airways.

[Osama bin Bambi]

Damn, where do you guys live that this is a problem? Yeah I've felt myself up a little in class back in high school (usually adjusting) but it was never like a full on grope fest, certainly not long enough to splooge.

...How do kids, even awkward ones, not realize how just...full-on creepy that is? It's sad at the same time but still, eep.

I was just wondering the same thing myself.

I only know of one guy who got away with masturbating during class. Him, and a very very autistic boy who probably didn't know what he was doing.

[Sylvana]

Personally that is a special kind of creepy. There is a time and a place for everything, but class and masturbation are neither.

However I assume in the case of the girl the more logical answer is the correct one. I am willing to bet she got frisky with some guy, got pregnant and is trying to appear all innocent. The chance of falling pregnant like this is so monumentally small I am inclined to say its impossible. The way a vagina is structured is to prevent foreign things from getting in. Add to that things like clothing and the time the sperm spent exposed to the air, it becomes unlikely to the most extreme.

[Yla]

She could go the extra mile and claim parthenogenesis.