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Community => The Lounge => Topic started by: Søren on January 04, 2012, 03:18:38 am

Title: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on January 04, 2012, 03:18:38 am
Post your IM conversations here
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on January 04, 2012, 07:50:26 pm
L: dog
L:  id livking hsnfd
RatOfSteel:  Hmm?
L:  ***licking hands
RatOfSteel:  Ah. :P
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 05, 2012, 06:07:53 am
m_antechrist: This is why robosexualism is wrong.
MaybeNever: Where will it end? That's what I want to know.
MaybeNever: With trees having sex?
MaybeNever: Illicit orgies, perhaps drawing in some insect? Bees? Flies?
MaybeNever: Horrible!
MaybeNever: Not to mention the STHDIs these days. Robo-AIDS formats thousands every year.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Shane for Wax on January 11, 2012, 05:54:08 pm
[17:30] shaneforwax: my internet is a twatwaffle
[17:30] Cait: I love making up profanities
[17:31] Cait: any half-literate idiot can say 'fuckhead!' but calling someone a douchebiscuit is way more fun
[17:33] shaneforwax: Douchecanoe
[17:33] Cait: it's just kind of funny getting people to be all offended at something you say without actually having any idea what it even meant
[17:34] Cait: 'fuckbag' is immediately evident as an insult but I couldn't tell you what it actually means
[17:37] shaneforwax: it's a sleeping bag with the word fuck written on it
[17:38] Cait: or possibly the communal trashbag for the semen-soaked paper towels they use to clean up the sets at porn shoots
[17:38] Cait: just offering suggestions here
[17:40] shaneforwax: that is a delightful mental image you've discovered
[17:41] Cait: if there;s one thing I'm good at it's coming up with mental images that will probably put me in therapy
[17:42] Cait: that and casually bashing out 2000-word essays almost totally effortlessly over breakfast
[17:42] Cait: they say everyone is good at SOMETHING but unfortunately you're not guaranteed it;s going to be something in any way useful or practical
[17:42] Cait: which is why I can't read a map but can catch a stack of pennies off my elbow
[17:43] shaneforwax: ....
[17:43] shaneforwax:  i can't tell if you're being serious
[17:43] Cait: about what?
[17:43] Cait: the pennies thing?
[17:43] shaneforwax: yes
[17:43] shaneforwax: regardless of the fact I originally read it as stack of penises, yes. The pennies thing
[17:44] Cait: no, I can do it--up to twenty pennies and the only reason I can't do more than that is becaues my hands are too small to hold them
[17:44] Cait: you hold your arm back and bent so your elbow is horizontal, balance a stack of coins on it, then flip your arm down fast and try to catch them before they end up all over the floor
[17:45] Cait: ...that;s weirder than I'm aware it is, isn't it?
[17:46] shaneforwax: that is... quite the gift, Cait.
[17:47] Cait: but it doesn't benefit me at all unless I'm kidnapped by some weird serial killer who promises to let me go if I can catch a stack of pennies off my elbow
[17:47] Cait: which, statisticaly speaking, is slightly less likely than being hit by lightning the day I win the lottery
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 11, 2012, 06:22:05 pm
*purchases duct tape, rope, and a stack of pennies*
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Caitshidhe on January 11, 2012, 06:26:38 pm
Well I guess I should go buy some lottery tickets, shouldn't I?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 11, 2012, 06:31:10 pm
Actually, it would be pretty convenient for me if we both happened to be in the same gas station at the same time, buying our respective supplies.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on January 11, 2012, 10:28:09 pm
Oh you girls.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on January 12, 2012, 06:52:51 pm
Ranger Joe says
So this story just jumped into mind.

The_L says
I like stories. :3

Ranger Joe says
I was stationed at Ft. Bragg and had a roomie. Most people do. You essentially have an apartment, minus the bathroom. (The bathroom is a giant one, and is at the end of the hall)

The_L says
right

Ranger Joe says
Well, he had a girl over. I could hear them through the wall.
So it's kinda loud, dude is reaching a crescendo, and then he screams like he's being disemboweled and runs out of the room, bare ass naked.
I can hear the woman laughing from inside the room.

The_L says
D:

Ranger Joe says
I said, "Dude, what the fuck?"
He replies, "Right as I came she stuck her finger in my ass! That doesn't make me gay does it?"

The_L says
 lol

Ranger Joe says
I said, "Well, does she have a penis?"

The_L says
Right answer.

Ranger Joe says
He replies, "Uhh..no..I definitely know she doesn't."
I said, "Well, then it's not gay. It would be gay if it was a man's finger. You can't commit a homosexual act with a member of the opposite sex. You. Fucking. Retard."
He was all awkward and made her leave.
I got her number as she was leaving... ;D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: chad sexington on January 14, 2012, 03:33:51 am
Well done :D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on January 15, 2012, 07:37:57 am
And here I am again, demonstrating ADHD as a coping strategy:

The_L: well, good and bad stuff happened yesterday
Keiro: Oh? o.o
The_L: Mom says, "I got this really cute shirt but it doesn't fit me, let's see if it looks goood on you"
The_L: So she gets it out of her closet, I'm in her room trying it on...
The_L: ...and I notice a condom wrapper by my parents' bed.
Keiro: ...
Keiro: Oh dear. >>;
The_L: I mentioned it when mom came back in (the shirt looks AWESOME on me, btw), and she says "Your father SAYS he always puts things away, and then every now and then I have to pick up after him."  "I...didn't really need to see--"  "I'll tell him about this later."  "DON'T TELL HIM!!"
The_L: My life is a horrible sitcom
Keiro: -coughs.- Yeah, you didn't need to... (Glad to hear it looks awesome on you!)
The_L: Baby, I rock that shirt like nobody's business
Keiro: Oh? XD
The_L: It is sexy :3
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Lithp on January 25, 2012, 02:52:39 pm
Advent Snail says
Gonna have to fuck off soon.
I want a damn vanilla Coke before I go to math class.
Harley Thomas says
Die.
Advent Snail says
I'll be back from around 5-6.
Harley Thomas says
I haven't had Vanilla Coke in years.
Advent Snail says
I found a couple places in State College that sell it.
Sometimes...
Harley Thomas says
I don't even think I can get it in my country.
Advent Snail says
Something beautiful happens in this world.
You don't know how to express yourself.
So you just gotta sing.
Harley Thomas says
Also I'll be gone at like 5:30.
Advent Snail says
I JUST HAD VANILLA COKE & HARLEY DIDN'T!
GONNA PUT MY PENIS IN THE BOTTLE!
I JUST HAD VANILLA COKE AND IT TASTES SO GOOD!
Harley Thomas says
I hope it gets stuck.
Advent Snail says
BUT NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS HARLEY'S MISERY.
DOESN'T MATTER, HAD COKE!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 26, 2012, 12:06:52 am
Kch_iscomingupwithideas!Hide!: And, damn, these are sweet brownies. Why did she not warn me these were lava brownies?

Dell_iswritingfanfics!Run!: *jealous*

Kch_iscomingupwithideas!Hide!: Uh uh, there is such a thing as too sweet and they found the line and drizzled fudge all over it.

Dell_iswritingfanfics!Run!: T_T

Kch_iscomingupwithideas!Hide!: Full on brownie porn money shot all over my line
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on January 26, 2012, 05:20:25 pm
"Brownie porn money shot" is officially my new term for "death by chocolate."
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 27, 2012, 06:15:06 pm
And this is why I make a bad muse...

Kchi_headwentsplat: Oh! i know! I know! Add this:

Kchi_headwentsplat: "You had me at orgy..." he purred into the other mech's audials as he squeezed him under the table.

Dell_iswritingfanfics!Run!: LOL

Kchi_headwentsplat: You'll thank me later

Kchi_headwentsplat: ...or burn me at the stake

Kchi_headwentsplat: Either way I'll hve gotten you to bastardize Jerry Maguire

Dell_iswritingfanfics!Run!: O_O
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 29, 2012, 05:12:30 am
Getting trolled by my brother.

Me: Can you swing by during the week and give me a hand setting up that desktop? The one that doesn't want to recognize its hard drive, I mean, not the old one.
Me: I'll give you a Toaster Strudel if you do.
Bro: no
Me: or whenever you're free
Bro: i'm not going to help you
Bro: ever
Me: ... why?
Bro: because you are a headcrab zombie.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Mira on January 29, 2012, 12:03:44 pm
Vene: I've said in the past that Lithp will either be a great biologist or a terrible one
Vene: I'm leaning more and more towards terrible
Mira: haha
Vene: Great would only be because of him bumbling about and his confusion leading to him discovering something awesome
Vene: The kind of thing where somebody makes a discovery because he didn't realize the method he was using was believed to be impossible
Mira: I could totally see it
Vene: 'You can't use x to find y'. 'But I just used x a week ago!' *important paper gets published*
Vene: And then Lithp goes to a conference, gives a speech, and Lithps it up
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Lithp on January 29, 2012, 10:47:31 pm
Fuck yo' cat, my speech would be fucking fantastic.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 29, 2012, 10:53:28 pm
Lithp and Vene really need to have some kind of confusing sexual encounter where Vene spends the entire session lovingly insulting Lithp's technique, then cums on his face, ruffles his hair, says, "You're all right, kid!", and then punches him in the nuts.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 29, 2012, 11:01:13 pm
And they need to film it so we can all watch it on youporn.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on January 30, 2012, 12:14:40 am
And this is why slash...is...WRONG!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 30, 2012, 12:19:58 am
No, this is why real person fics are wrong. Slash on the other hand... Slash is like Oxygen. Slash lifts us up where we belong. All you need is slash! (No, I don't have Moulin Rouge on in the back. Whatever gave you that idea?)

Though is this really real person? I'm sort of hoping Lithp is a character he's immersed himself in. Or a small facet of himself and we're missing the shine of the whole diamond because all we see is the tiny section.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on January 30, 2012, 12:23:03 am
I hope Lithp is the Borg
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on January 30, 2012, 12:24:06 am
The worst Borg ever since Hugh.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 30, 2012, 12:29:30 pm
Rethithtance ith futile.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Lithp on January 30, 2012, 02:21:46 pm
Quote
Or a small facet of himself and we're missing the shine of the whole diamond because all we see is the tiny section.

What the fuck is this hellcrap?

Quote
Lithp and Vene really need to have some kind of confusing sexual encounter where Vene spends the entire session lovingly insulting Lithp's technique, then cums on his face, ruffles his hair, says, "You're all right, kid!", and then punches him in the nuts.

How about I do my best to forget this sentence ever happened?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Vene on January 30, 2012, 02:26:14 pm
Quote
Lithp and Vene really need to have some kind of confusing sexual encounter where Vene spends the entire session lovingly insulting Lithp's technique, then cums on his face, ruffles his hair, says, "You're all right, kid!", and then punches him in the nuts.

How about I do my best to forget this sentence ever happened?
Drugs
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 30, 2012, 02:37:14 pm
What has been seen...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: rosenewock21 on January 30, 2012, 03:58:14 pm
Xat doesn't allow copy/paste and this was too long to type out, so I did a series of screen grabs. As a set up, we had been talking about Vore and somehow it led into:

(http://i1233.photobucket.com/albums/ff388/Chi_Shiro/Themeatconvo.png)

Which just made me want to subject someone to it...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Lithp on January 30, 2012, 05:14:25 pm
I've been subjected, & I don't like it.

I've stated categorically that I'd eat cat.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Sigmaleph on January 30, 2012, 05:19:03 pm
Within earshot of your cat?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Vene on January 30, 2012, 05:27:16 pm
I've been subjected, & I don't like it.

I've stated categorically that I'd eat cat.
Lithp, that's now what people typically mean when they talk about "eating pussy."
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Lithp on January 30, 2012, 10:28:56 pm
I don't care what other people do, I AM THE GODDAMN LITHP!

And if that little bastard doesn't stop biting me, I might just follow through.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on February 02, 2012, 10:28:42 am
John Damen: Mmm...my little pagan.
The_L: ...
The_L: BAD BRAIN!
The_L: For some reason, I now have an image of My Little Ponies in ritual garb.
John Damen: *chuckles* I am completely unsurprised that you'd think of ponies.
The_L: ...at least they weren't performing the Great Rite.
John Damen: *laughs*
John Damen: Are you my little pagan?
The_L: Mmm, yes. :3
John Damen: Heh, guy who was over last night, I was showing him a thing or three on the computer and he saw my pentacle. We ended up in a religious debate and I got the whole "paganism will poison your spirit" routine.
The_L: Ugh.
The_L: Tell him your spirit spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
John Damen: ...Oh dear goddess I love you.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on February 02, 2012, 01:10:46 pm
Caitshidhe: IN THE TIME IT TOOK ME TO TYPE THIS MITT ROMNEY MADE ENOUGH MONEY TO BAIL A SERIAL KILLER OUT OF A FUCKING TEXAS PRISON
Caitshidhe: assbiscuit
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Shane for Wax on February 06, 2012, 12:47:18 am
m_antechrist: That's the story according to the back of the photo, anyway.
Shane For Wax: last time I trusted the back of the photo i got into some really bad trouble.
m_antechrist: Yeah, one of them told me to slash a cop's tires once.
m_antechrist: Good times.
Shane For Wax: I can imagine. Did you go on a date afterward?
m_antechrist: A date with the judge.
Shane For Wax: and an old priest and a young priest?
m_antechrist: And a strangely precocious 8-year-old.
Shane For Wax: Of course. No recipe is complete
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 06, 2012, 02:48:12 am
m_antechrist: We should go into the MLP thread and derail it.
MaybeNever: What's the inverse of My Little Pony?
MaybeNever: Corporate accountancy?
m_antechrist: Your giant stallion?
MaybeNever: Yes, it is quite large.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 08, 2012, 02:17:34 am
Conversing with my brother yet again (names changed to protect anonymity and all that):

Him (IMing me out of no where): question
Him: what
Him: kind of bear is best
Me: I don't know, which kind?
Him: answer the question
Me: Sunbears are fucking creepy.
Me: So those ones.
Him: false
Him: black bear
Me: And your reason for saying so?
Him: bears eat beats
Him: bears
Him: beats
Him: battle star galactica
Me: bitches, bongs, bling
Me: Bryan Adams.
Me: Bono,
Me: Bing Crosby
Me: Black bears.
Him: exactly
Him: now you see
Me: Oh my god.
Him: right?
Me: It's been right in front of my nose all this time.
Him: and now you can forever live in peace
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Shane for Wax on February 08, 2012, 02:24:07 am
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp9eg6jgxM1qd6q0t.gif)
Antechrist is Shane in this instance. And I am Alice.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on February 12, 2012, 01:33:35 am
Caitshidhe: seems like Obama is smiling in more photos than any president I can think of
Caitshidhe: except maybe Dubya
Caitshidhe: and even then it was the kind of smile you see on a kid who just shit his pants
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on February 17, 2012, 05:41:44 pm
Cait: my life will not be complete until I see your fabulous faggy schlong
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 24, 2012, 01:23:04 am
11:19 PM - MaybeNever: Haha, I've comfortably replaced it with torturous memories of Top Gun.
11:19 PM - MaybeNever: And me punching Tom Cruise right in the testicles.
11:20 PM - MaybeNever: Imagine a boot stomping on a Tom Cruise testicle... forever.
11:20 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: We need a flash video that does just that.
11:20 PM - MaybeNever: We need a boot that does just that.
11:21 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: Touche.

edit:

12:43 AM - MaybeNever: And she thinks American is a language.
12:44 AM - MaybeNever: But that's silly.
12:44 AM - MaybeNever: It's a relationship with Christ.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Shane for Wax on February 24, 2012, 02:02:09 am
Shane For Wax: Hehehe. That's what happens. It sneaks up on ya. One minute you have 6 games downloading the next you're trying to download a picture from the interwebs and it's telling you NO MOAR SPACE.
Grumpy_McAntechrist: Then you're sucking some guy's dick for a ten dollar game.
Shane For Wax: And a few more gigs of memory!
Grumpy_McAntechrist: Eventually they find you dead, crushed under 50 external hard drives.
Shane For Wax: Curse you, addictions!
Grumpy_McAntechrist: And the lack of sufficiently tiny solid state storage!
Shane For Wax: I shouldn't be able to fill up my 1TB external I just got... maybe...
Shane For Wax: it only took me a bit to fill up my 500
Shane For Wax: 500Gig... not 500 tera.
Shane For Wax: that would be odd
Grumpy_McAntechrist: Hah, 500TB would be like being immortal or something.
Shane For Wax: I am Shane MacFarlane of the Clan MacFarlane. I was born in 1989 in North Dakota. And I am immortal. My life is in these horcruxes-- I mean external hard drives.
Shane For Wax: Yeah. I just mashed Highlander with Harry Potter.
Grumpy_McAntechrist: You were born in the 80s, though, so you're still cool.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on February 26, 2012, 05:43:52 pm
3:39 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: Haha, my brother has Portal 2 on his wish list. I'm going to torture him with my newfound superiority.
3:40 PM - MaybeNever: "Accidentally" reveal various major plot points.,
3:40 PM - MaybeNever: Like the player IS GLaDOS.
3:40 PM - MaybeNever: And Wheatley IS GLaDOS.
3:40 PM - MaybeNever: And GLaDOS is Bruce Wayne.
3:40 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: And Bruce Wayne is... The Bat Man.
3:40 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: And Batman is a fag.
3:40 PM - MaybeNever: Conclusion: You are the Batman.
3:41 PM - MaybeNever: Ahaha, perfect timing.
3:41 PM - Grumpy_McAntechrist: Son of a bitch.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on February 28, 2012, 04:29:38 pm
Attack of the dangling modifiers!


Damen: How are you, hun?
The_L: doing well
The_L: started logic today
Damen: Oh yarr?
The_L: yes
Damen: Tell me about it.
The_L: Logic was first formally studied by the Greek philosopher Aristotle in ~300 BCE.
The_L: The Aristotelian system of logic was the primary one studied until modern times, when symbolic logical systems became more commonplace.
The_L: Symbolic logic, as the name implies, represents statements and the relationships between them using letters and symbols.
The_L: For example, using the letter p to represent "The sun is shining" and q to represent "It is warm outside," the compound statement "The sun is shining and it is warm outside" would be represented by p ^ q.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on March 04, 2012, 11:24:30 pm
Me: I'm reading quantum physics for fun. im weird
Cait: you're weird, I'm weird. Clearly we should be naked together with lube
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on March 04, 2012, 11:35:25 pm
Me: I'm reading quantum physics for fun. im weird
Cait: you're weird, I'm weird. Clearly we should be naked together with lube

Would a Strap-On be considered clothing?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 04, 2012, 11:37:34 pm
Depends on the percentage of the pelvis being covered by the harness.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: MaybeNever on March 11, 2012, 03:38:54 pm
12:37 PM - MaybeNever: If I couldn't figure out how to form Ireland, I'd be pretty mad.
12:37 PM - MaybeNever: I guess you could say it would become
12:37 PM - MaybeNever: *sunglasses*
12:37 PM - MaybeNever: an ire land.
12:37 PM - MaybeNever: http://mirrors.rit.edu/instantCSI/
12:37 PM - PsyclonJesus: You are worse than Hitler
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 17, 2012, 12:43:40 am
Deimos: did you hear the attempt at vocals above your post?
Damen: Heheh, yes I did.
Deimos: XD
Deimos: I love how the mic distorts my voice
Deimos: gives it an awesome sound
Damen: Sounds like a demented loon escaped from the asylum and decided to ring someone up on the intercom. :P
Deimos: and that's like the greatest comment anyone has given me about my vocals
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on March 18, 2012, 09:51:35 pm
caitshidhe@yahoo.com says:
 mmmmm sexy
 the creator of Red Bull passed awau
 I wonder if he has wings now
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 ROFL
 omg you fuckin bitch
 i love you xD
caitshidhe@yahoo.com says:
 I am going to hell for making that joke but you are coming with me for laughing at it
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 pretty much xD
caitshidhe@yahoo.com says:
 *smooch*
 we're like..... sexually incompatible soul mates
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on March 20, 2012, 02:26:49 pm
[2:17:49 PM] Me: yeah
[2:17:50 PM] Me: I am
[2:18:00 PM] Me: and may be asked to do things
[2:18:03 PM] Me: at any time
[2:20:14 PM] Tank: NOOOOOOO
[2:20:16 PM] Tank: NOT THINGS
[2:20:19 PM] Me: :P
[2:20:19 PM] Tank: ANYTHING BUT THINGS
[2:20:20 PM] Tank: :P
[2:20:29 PM] Me: worse than things
[2:20:32 PM] Me: ...
[2:20:33 PM] Me: ..
[2:20:34 PM] Me: .
[2:20:36 PM] Me: stuff
[2:20:39 PM] Tank: *SCREAMS IN TERROR*
[2:20:40 PM] Tank: ..
[2:20:55 PM] Me: :P
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on March 21, 2012, 06:26:29 pm
[2:17:49 PM] Me: yeah
[2:17:50 PM] Me: I am
[2:18:00 PM] Me: and may be asked to do things
[2:18:03 PM] Me: at any time
[2:20:14 PM] Tank: NOOOOOOO
[2:20:16 PM] Tank: NOT THINGS
[2:20:19 PM] Me: :P
[2:20:19 PM] Tank: ANYTHING BUT THINGS
[2:20:20 PM] Tank: :P
[2:20:29 PM] Me: worse than things
[2:20:32 PM] Me: ...
[2:20:33 PM] Me: ..
[2:20:34 PM] Me: .
[2:20:36 PM] Me: stuff
[2:20:39 PM] Tank: *SCREAMS IN TERROR*
[2:20:40 PM] Tank: ..
[2:20:55 PM] Me: :P

D:  Not STUFF!!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 25, 2012, 03:50:17 pm
This is how Deimos starts a conversation.

Deimos: meeting john cleese, then going dildo shopping
Deimos: today's gonna be interesting
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on March 27, 2012, 07:02:23 pm
The_L: starting to develop feelings for the guy I'm dating.
The_L: Which is...complicating things.
Ironbite: awwwwwwww
The_L: yeah
Ironbite: the poor harem
Ironbite: whatever shall they do?
Ironbite: you know, besides move on with their lives
Ironbite: though Rat will probably go emo for a bit
The_L: I broke up with rat
The_L: He took it shockingly well.
Ironbite: oh good
Ironbite: though I haven't seen him round the boards much
Ironbite: meh whatever
Ironbite: it's Rat
The_L: He's not good at socializing.
Ironbite: really, at this point in his life, it's his fault
The_L: I tend to sympathize with socially-awkward nerds. >.>
Ironbite: I know
The_L: i kinda was one
Ironbite: if you didn't, you wouldn't have had a harem right?
The_L: lol
Ironbite: so this new boy...he nice?
The_L: yep
The_L: Works with computers for a living
The_L: Hardware AND software
The_L: Loves old comedy movies, Lego, Star Wars, and dirty jokes
Ironbite: ooooooooooooh
Ironbite: sounds perfect for the forums
The_L: so yeah, pretty much Laura-bait.
The_L: The_L shrugs
The_L: maybe
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on March 27, 2012, 08:02:38 pm
You left out the best part!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on March 27, 2012, 08:42:36 pm
OK, fine.  Best part of the conversation I'm currently in:

Damen: I told you before, I'm a bastard coated bastard with a hard, crunchy bastard filling.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 28, 2012, 05:32:00 pm
Best line I've heard in a while.

The_L: That is the most stalkerifically adorable thing I have heard all day.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on April 06, 2012, 11:55:15 pm
Deimos: those moments in life where your boyfriend takes off his used condom and blows it up and let's it go, only for it to fly around the room for 5 seconds and lands on the housemates face which splatters cum across his cheek
Damen: ...it's the simple things in life you treasure.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on April 08, 2012, 04:37:20 am
Damen says:
 It's where my gun fixation starts bleeding through, but I don't think I can really be blamed for that considering the song.
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 im sorry,....."starts"?
Damen says:
 *swats*
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 you ooze gunpowder
Damen says:
 I ejaculate cordite.
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 dont ever give me a facial
Damen says:
 Actually, I fart cordite and ejaculate full-auto.
Deimos - Veritas Diaboli says:
 god you're classy
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on April 13, 2012, 06:39:57 pm
After talking about the tornadoes that are currently hitting my state and my desire for bed, this came up during the good-nights:

Deimos: *clings to* dun get hurt
Damen: *chuckles and hugs* Don't worry about me. Either I'll be fine or I'll make it to safety and only lose my house and everything I own. Or I'll die. And none of those choices are ones that require one to worry needlessly.
Deimos: ....you should give comfort to disaster victims
Deimos: would have rocked black Saturday *sarcasm*
Damen:  ;D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on April 14, 2012, 02:40:22 am
12:36 AM - MaybeNever: The nipple, it whispers to me.
12:36 AM - MaybeNever: Dark thoughts.
12:36 AM - MaybeNever: What's that nipple? No, but she needs her skin.
12:36 AM - MaybeNever: It keeps her insides from being her outsides.
12:36 AM - MaybeNever: I know the knife is sharp.
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: I know that.
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: No, I-
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: No, but-
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: W
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Why are you telling me about your mother?
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Oh god, this Saturday?
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Wait, tomorrow?
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Oh god.
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: No, I'm not having dinner with your mother tomorrow, nipple!
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: No, absolutely not!
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Look, I have one day off and I'm
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: No
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: Fi-
12:37 AM - MaybeNever: F-
12:38 AM - MaybeNever: FINE
12:38 AM - MaybeNever: YOU HAVE DINNER WITH HER
12:38 AM - MaybeNever: But I won't be here when you get back.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on April 14, 2012, 02:41:05 am
lol wut is this I don't even
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on April 24, 2012, 02:32:35 am
Steam's well-timed disconnect.

12:23 AM - Antechrist: Fuuu, Steam keeps giving me an "unexpected error blah blah blah" message whenever I try to add funds with this prepaid card. It's worked in the past...
12:24 AM - Antechrist: Those fuckers had better not have frozen all transactions over some stupid bullshit.
Your state is set to Offline.
[Other person] is now Offline.
Lost connection to Steam, will rejoin chat automatically when connection regained.
Connected again and rejoined chat.
[Other person] is now Online.
12:25 AM - Antechrist: Well played, Steam.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on April 26, 2012, 08:01:53 pm
The_L: i'm going to start of my EdD in the fall
Keiro DreamWalker: :D
The_L: it'll be a lot of work
Keiro DreamWalker: But worth it, no?
The_L: i guess
The_L: I'm only really doing it because it's free for me.
Keiro DreamWalker: It makes you much more employable in the future if you decide to move away from your school.
The_L: depends.
The_L: It makes me more employable by universities.  Most high schools aren't going to pick the person with an Ed.D. if there's someone else with a lower-level degree in the same thing.
Keiro DreamWalker: I still say it's worth it.
The_L: Mom says so too.  I trust her WAY more than I trust Dad, who brought the whole stupid thing up in the first place.
Keiro DreamWalker: Ouch.
The_L: What?
The_L: I trust mom.
The_L: I think Dad's a few men short of a totem pole.
Keiro DreamWalker: No no no, that was to your Dad comment.
Keiro DreamWalker: ... LOL
The_L: Seriously, he used to be an intelligent man, then at some point in the last decade he became totally unhinged.
The_L: I blame Fox News.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on April 29, 2012, 06:26:26 pm
Deimos: I keep turning around and hoping every single atom re arranges itself to form an cyborg elephant
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on May 09, 2012, 09:06:00 pm
Deimos: goddamnit I keep thinking of mom everytime I go for my prostate....
Damen: ...oh yeah, you're completely normal.
Deimos: XD
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on May 10, 2012, 01:52:58 am
From a skype chat with some friends

[23:41:55 EDT] Raccoon: D-Singer> Three BIG things happened inthe LGBT movement today and yesterday
[23:42:35 EDT] Raccoon: 1) The Lead Singer of an MTV Rock Band came out as being Transgendered
[23:42:56 EDT] Raccoon: 2) North Carolina passed their constitutional ban on gay marriage
[23:43:34 EDT] Raccoon: 3) Obama came forward to say he'd changed his mind and supported Gay marriage.
[23:43:58 EDT] Randomwolf42: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWxAaliHVzo&feature=g-u-u also
[23:44:40 EDT] Raccoon: Random> alright! :D
[23:44:46 EDT] Randomwolf42: :3
[23:44:57 EDT] Raccoon: Wait...
[23:44:59 EDT] Raccoon: NO!
[23:45:04 EDT] Randomwolf42: ?
[23:45:18 EDT] Raccoon: That means that I won't be able to convert straights to gays!
[23:45:25 EDT] Randomwolf42: hahahaha
[23:45:48 EDT] Randomwolf42: might have to make a couple changes to Teh Ghey Agenda™
[23:46:12 EDT] Raccoon: I am a musician of the Homosexual New World Order, and as such, it is my DUTY to push god-fearing heterosexuals to become satan-loving deviant sodomizers.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on June 01, 2012, 02:36:12 am
Deimos: oh gods
Deimos: most awkward moment ever today
Deimos: I discovered by buttplug came with a detachable vibration bullet
Deimos: so I shoved it in, was about to fap
Deimos: mum called me down
Deimos: her friends are everywhere, and I'm trying to make as much noise as possible to hide the hum of vibration
Deimos: and mum heard it and she gave me a funny look
Deimos: and I'm like "ooohmygodgottagoBYE!"
Damen: ...
Damen: o.O
Damen: ...uhh...
Deimos: XD
Deimos: aren't my stories fun?
Damen: *copies* *pastes to FSTDT*
Deimos: D:
Deimos: XD
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on June 17, 2012, 10:08:19 pm
Regarding the outcome of a FSTDT orgy.

8:01 PM - Khris: but knowing our fourm theyd probibly start bickiring about who gets to go first
8:02 PM - Antechrist: Then Nickerson and Fred would start arguing about which lube is better for a week straight.
8:02 PM - Antechrist: And somehow it would all become a discussion about kittens.
8:03 PM - Khris: then that discussion will start to take left field then everyone will forget what we were talking about and want to go home
8:03 PM - Antechrist: Then a month later a noob would show up and try to revive the orgy.
8:04 PM - Khris: its so weird that i can see this happining
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: shykid on June 22, 2012, 08:16:12 am
I am Spike; Mikey is my BFF and a psychology major. Had to share this for lulz and internal cocks.

mikeytron meowing: and, yeah, there's loads of psychological research on teenagers that shows they have underdeveloped frontal cortexes, which controls reason and planning and allows for careful risk assessment and aversion.
mikeytron meowing: the frontal cortex modulates the more immediate reactions made by the hypothalamus, which involves gut instincts, emotional responses, and aggression, and in teens its responses aren't fully regulated or tempered by their frontal cortex before acting
mikeytron meowing: it's a bit more complicated than that, that it's the gist of it. it kind of helps to compare them and their relationship to the ego and the the id, even if psychoanalysis is unfalsifiable quackpottery
mikeytron meowing: wait... not hypothalamus... i meant to say AMYGDALA there...
mikeytron meowing: sorry, i am failing psych 101...
mikeytron meowing: lol i haven't had my coffee yet, ok? :{
Spike Dee: you still meant to say that, anyway
Spike Dee: it's barely 6 AM; you just aren't fully awake yet, AND YOU STILL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, ANYWAY
Spike Dee: fuck, dude, i am totally ignorant to this shit, and i wouldn't have even noticed you were wrong if you hadn't corrected yourself
mikeytron meowing: but they don't even look alike and they do totally different things :{ the hypothalamus maintains internal equilibrium and controls basic things like body temp, eating, pituitary hormones, and your internal cock
Spike Dee: ...internal cock
Spike Dee: INTERNAL COCK
mikeytron meowing: INTERNAL CLOCK LOL :{ :{ :{{{ :{{{{
mikeytron meowing: ...well, the amygdala DOES play a role in sexuality
mikeytron meowing: so at least IT sorta CAN be an internal cock even if your hypothalamus isn't, so nyah >P

(Concatenated several consecutive messages for length and readability.)
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Shane for Wax on June 22, 2012, 08:27:35 am
(http://i45.tinypic.com/2liha28.gif)

I have nothing to add except that.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on June 22, 2012, 08:27:41 am
INTERNAL COCK!! :D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Hades on June 22, 2012, 08:29:23 am
Embrace the inner wee-wee.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on June 22, 2012, 06:33:06 pm
Embrace the inner wee-wee.

With the lower orifices?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on June 22, 2012, 06:55:52 pm
A convo between me and my ex's best friend.  (Yes, I talk to my ex's best friend.)

The_L: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5vw2wk9OX1qmtjmwo1_500.png
CardsLafter: That has to be fake.  XD I honestly can NOT wrap my mind around that much stupidity.  I just can't do it.  I'm sorry, Lara, but you win.  I've met the edge of my sanity and I didn't think it existed.  Damn.
The_L: :3
The_L: You're welcome.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: shykid on June 23, 2012, 02:02:32 pm
Louie the Lightning Bug (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtoQbXzNqkg) weeps.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on July 24, 2012, 11:06:04 pm
9:04 PM - Khris: FJU+ajk]-f09ja]f[jaop9[f80hysie9f0y8a7wty emr ym08hywhftw0hnfe ]
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on August 13, 2012, 09:33:19 am
Damen: Is it weird that when I see the term "Working poor" I think to myself "Like the Living Dead?"
Deimos: probably, you have your own special brand of weird
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on August 13, 2012, 11:12:47 am
[11:09:38] Tank: NEED VIRGIN
[11:09:40] Tank: ..
[11:09:45] Tank: as in the phone
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on August 13, 2012, 08:49:12 pm
Deimos: oh gods
Deimos: horribly awkward moment
Deimos: it was beautiful
Damen: Oh?
Deimos: singing the second track of hail spirit noirs debut album
Deimos: lyric was "kill your mother, while you're still in her womb"
Deimos: of course I had to be next to a pregnant lady
Deimos: of course, because God thinks my life isn't awkward enough at all!
Damen: ...I know this is true because you can't make this shit up.
Deimos: most awkward silence ever >.>
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on August 15, 2012, 05:19:55 pm
Deimos: hm, if I get sexually excited at the prospect of licking cum off my face whilst streaking the worlds deadliest pathogen on a TSA plate, should I worry about my mental state?
Damen: Yes. Yes you should.
Damen: And I already do.
Deimos: teehee .^_^

*right after*

Deimos: you know what how about you just fly down here and follow me around all day with a notepad and pen recording everything I say
Deimos: will that make you happy?
Damen: No.
Damen: I have an audio recorder. Why would I need a pen and paper?
Deimos: ah, efficiency!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on August 26, 2012, 09:21:41 pm
Deimos: guess wut I just did  ;D
Damen: ...those words from you fill me with apprehension, dread and a sort of curiosity that I get when coming upon the scene of a car accident.
Deimos: liquid nitrogen grenades  ;D
Damen:
(click to show/hide)
Deimos: you love it
Damen: You are far from not interesting.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on August 27, 2012, 01:24:42 am
I still think he should just follow me around all day...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on August 27, 2012, 03:54:55 pm
Maybe he should videotape you and sell it. :P
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on August 28, 2012, 02:26:57 am
12:23 AM - Khriston W Robinson: like if the first star trek movie was a mouth it would never eat any food only dicks would enter at every moment of every day of every month of every year for the rest of time
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on September 02, 2012, 06:55:06 pm
Do text messages on phones count?

Mom: We're going to my mother's (in AL) this weekend.  We may swing by (Canadian aunt)'s on Monday.

And today: Autopilot's not working, so we're not going up to (Canadian aunt)'s after all.

I get surreal messages since Dad bought that plane.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on September 02, 2012, 07:06:07 pm
......plane?

Ironbite-PLANE!?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Gst0395 on September 03, 2012, 03:39:13 pm
I mainly spend time on Omegle whenever I'm bored. Some interesting stuff happens, such as this conversation I had with a guy pretending to be a pedophile. The conversation (which I posted on GTAForums a while ago) was pretty interesting, though I must say he may have trolled me good. Swears are censored due to this being copied directly from GTAForums.

Quote
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle couldn't find anyone who shares interests with you, so this stranger is completely random. Try adding more interests!
Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Asl
Stranger: 68/m/texas
You: im not telling you sh*t
You: 68?!?
Stranger: Mmkay the
Stranger: Yeah
You: what the f*ck?
Stranger: One more year till 69
Stranger: Lol
Stranger: My names Wesley
Stranger: Wesley Bergeson
You: what's a 68 year old man doing on omegle?
Stranger: Just finding girls and guys to chat with ;) and make friends
You: sex offender
Stranger: How old are u
You: im 17
Stranger: Perfect
Stranger: Boy or girl
You: boy you f*cking pedo
Stranger: Wanna send some pics
You: f*ck off
Stranger: U have a kik?
Stranger: Imessage?
Stranger: Facebook?
Stranger: Cell phone?
You: shut up you retard
Stranger: Email?
You: child molestor
Stranger: Cuz i got all of the above and more
Stranger: I would never hurt a pure beautiful sprouting child...
Stranger: Children are my life
You: are you a member of NAMBLA?
Stranger: Wtf is that
Stranger: I'm a member of the circle of life
You: north american man boy love association
Stranger: Umm no
Stranger: Love has no gender...
You: they'd be perfect for a creep like you
Stranger: That sounds like narnia
Stranger: Wanna come to my 69th bday party
You: no way
Stranger: Aww
Stranger: Why not
Stranger: Ur invitee
Stranger: I'll even send plane tix
Stranger: I have a lot of money
You: because i hate pedos and i live in the uk, not texas in the us
Stranger: I'll buy you anything u want
You: Okay i'll come
Stranger: Xbox games? Iphone? Hookers?
Stranger: What are teens into these days...
You: i want a copy of grand theft auto v
You: on ps3
Stranger: All i hear you teens talk about these days... is 'Is this w
Stranger: Is my wifi organic
Stranger: Thats what teens say right
Stranger: Im being hip
You: you are f*cked up
Stranger: And consider it done. I just need ur address
Stranger: ;$
Stranger: ;)
You: i'm not telling you sh*t buddy
Stranger: Then u dont get ur grand theft auto
Stranger: I will come to ur house
Stranger: And make love to u
Stranger: <3
Stranger: I'm only being human. Humans have urges
You: my address is 27 f*ckoff meadows
Stranger: Oooh thats racy
Stranger: Maybe a pure sprouting gift like u should find someplace more innocent
Stranger: ;) i know lots of places
You: just a question
Stranger: Yeah
You: are you married?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Marriage is over rated
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: Im single and hot
Stranger: Wanna see my abs
You: no i don't
You: you're creepy
Stranger: Hit me up on kik. Its @onesexymannamedwesburgesonlookingforn00ds111112222233333
Stranger: Jk
You: that's not a real address
Stranger: Its a kik username
Stranger: But fake ;)
Stranger: Sauce!! MOARR
You: oh my god stop pulling those smiley faces
You: you're a freak
Stranger: ;)
Stranger: I do this kn
Stranger: In real life
You: i bet your abs are all wrinkly or covered by layers of fat
Stranger: Well i bet no one sells u pot
Stranger: Hit me up on kik
Stranger: Ill do the job
Stranger: ;)
You: heres my message to you
Stranger: What
You: ............../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
Stranger: Ohh is that a dick? Saucy ;) want pls
You: it's a middle finger you dumbass
You: but since you insist
Stranger: As in f*ck you!
Stranger: How hard?
Stranger: ;)
You: okay no you're just being a sick bastard
You: are you for rea;?
You: *real?
Stranger: Of course
Stranger: Is ur mom for real
You: mum*
Stranger: Well do you really think theres 68 year old pedo bear in texas named Wes Burgeson who
Stranger: Creeps on 17 yr old boys
Stranger: And promises them video games
You: so you finally admit it lol
Stranger: And gives them a fake kik address
Stranger: And asks for nudes
Stranger: And claims to be sexu
You: of course nt
You: *not
Stranger: And asks ur address?
Stranger: Yeah theres pedophiles on here
You: i was just playing along lol
Stranger: But they are wayyy more discree
Stranger: Discreet
Stranger: Yeah right
Stranger: U were fooled
Stranger: I was testing u
You: good act though
Stranger: Hahaha its fun
You: i might try it myself you know
Stranger: Cuz most ppl on omegle are dumb f*cktards
You: true
Stranger: And usually believe it
Stranger: The funniest thing is when ur likw oooh ur a boy? I only want girl nudes ;) then they go oh wait im a girl xD
Stranger: Im like seriously dumbass?
Stranger: Get a bf or something
You: i agree, i troll this place when im bored
Stranger: Me too
You: but you trolled better than me
Stranger: Thanks i probably did
Stranger: I dont do the vid chat
Stranger: Too much dinosaur cock
You: the vid chat is full of losers jerking off
Stranger: Yeah and fake celebs. My bro put a video of JB and the person FLIPPED out
You: haha dumbasses
Stranger: Ua
Stranger: Ya
Stranger: This dumb retard from my school thinks she met drake on omegle
Stranger: And its funny cuz drake sucks
You: as if he would be on omegle
Stranger: Ya
You: he obviously has better things to do like make crappy music
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: One direction is so much better
Stranger: Jk
Stranger: They suck
You: haha true
Stranger: All the girls i know go crazy over them -_-
You: all modern artists suck
You: well most of them anyway
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Ãgrëęd
You: anyway better be going
Stranger: Go troll!
You: had fun though, later
You: i will :)
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on September 03, 2012, 08:39:19 pm
......plane?

Ironbite-PLANE!?

Yes, my father owns a godsdamn plane.  6-seater.

You know how sometimes, I'll say offhand "my parents are kinda rich?"  Yeah, they are now officially own-a-plane-rich.  Not yacht-rich, servants-rich or jet-rich, though.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on September 06, 2012, 03:54:48 pm
Deimos: thst moment when you get up . and you find your sister wrapped in bubble wrap. running around and smacking herself into walls
Damen: You think to yourself "Yep, totally normal for this house."
Deimos: you'd so join in
Damen: ...shut up. >.>
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on September 26, 2012, 09:42:37 pm
Deimos: russian has some very...disturbing moments
Damen: Oh?
Deimos: if you want to say you like something (if there's more than one of the something) you say
Deimos: нравятся
Deimos: which literally translates to "it is pleasing to me"
Damen: Right?
Deimos: the example used for this is Мне нравятся дети
Deimos: which means, I like your children
Damen: Ja.
Deimos: but its literal translation is "your children are pleasing to me"
Damen: ...wow. Fail.
Deimos: I know right?
Deimos: what's really bad is that I said it out loud and this girl gave me the most horrified look
Damen: BWAHAHA!!!
Deimos: oh wait no, it's I like the children
Damen: How is that better?
Deimos: so the literal translation is "the children are pleasing to me"
Deimos: the next phrase is your children are pleasing to me
Deimos: fair point >.>
Deimos: the pencil is pleasing to me
Deimos: oh my fucking god can I say I like anything in Russian without making myself sound like a fucking pervert!
Damen: Now you know why Russians are usually pissed off.
Deimos: no wonder, everybody gets turned on by everything
Deimos: ...this perfect for my stand up routine...
Damen: It is also perfect for the IM Conversation Thread.  ;D
Deimos: oh you bastard
Damen: MWAHAHA!!!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Sleepy on September 26, 2012, 09:48:04 pm
Spanish sometimes disturbs me in the same way. When you say "me gusta" you're literally saying "it pleases me."
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on September 28, 2012, 04:04:37 am
Spanish sometimes disturbs me in the same way. When you say "me gusta" you're literally saying "it pleases me."

(http://rlv.zcache.ca/me_gusta_face_text_postcard-p239986862933170582baanr_400.jpg)
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on September 29, 2012, 01:52:42 pm
Deimos: I...think I just had a dream about being molested by Obama
Damen: Seriously, what goes on inside your brain?
Deimos: I don't think I wanna know
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on September 29, 2012, 04:59:49 pm
Deimos: nothing makes me cum harder than buckshot lodged in my prostate

---

Me? Posting a lot of Deimos? Never!

Right after:

Damen: ...take a wild guess about what I just did.
Deimos: oh good God
Deimos: ...of course
Damen:  ;D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on September 29, 2012, 07:50:06 pm
Deimos: don't you hate that moment when you ask mum to see why you're phone vibrated, but she clicks it on only to see the last thing you were looking at, an anthropomorphic gorilla with tiger cum leaking out his ass
Damen: ...Deimos...did you think to yourself "Wait, if I send this to him he'll just throw it up on the IM Conversation Thread" before you hit Enter?
Deimos: only like a millisecond after I press enter....
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on October 01, 2012, 10:42:25 pm
Talking with Cait about Deimos:

Caitshidhe: he's the fag to my hag

---

And right after I sent that to Deimos:

Deimos: shes the probe to my prostate
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on October 01, 2012, 10:56:07 pm
It's the best title to a romantic comedy film

"the fag to her hag, the probe to his prostate"
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Caitshidhe on October 01, 2012, 10:58:49 pm
Deimos and I should have our own TV show or something. Because you cannot write this shit.

Quote
caitshidhe: ninos me gustan
caitshidhe: THE CHILDREN GIVE ME PLEASURE
caitshidhe: *pedobear*
Epiklises: we should dress up in pedo bear and go to a playground
caitshidhe: I know someone who makes full body fursuits so you have no idea how real that plan could become
caitshidhe: also I fear/anticipate/expect the resident mothers wouldn't recognize the pedobear
caitshidhe: and would be like HEY KIDS LET'S GO HUG THE HARMLESS GIANT BEAR
Epiklises: aaaand that's a new life goal
Last message received on 10/1/2012 at 10:53 PM
caitshidhe: you're such an ambitious young man
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on October 01, 2012, 10:59:27 pm
Deimos: copying conversations is your life's joy isn't it
Damen: It's one of the little things that brings joy to my world.
Deimos: I can say the same thing about my prostate <3
Damen: ...
Damen: You know what's coming next, right?
Deimos: it's funny because it's true!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on October 01, 2012, 11:14:07 pm
Damen: Disturbing Romney Pic (http://forums.fstdt.net/confidential-confessions/disturbing-images/msg96044/#msg96044)
Caitshidhe: HAFI SODKHDSIUFJHDSIUJDKH
Caitshidhe: NO
Caitshidhe: CREEPY
Caitshidhe: PICTURES
Caitshidhe: YOU FUCKER
Damen: Sweet dreams. *evil smiley*
Caitshidhe: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
Caitshidhe: I HATE YOUUUUUUU
Caitshidhe: I HAAAAAAAATE YOUUUUUUU
Damen: MWAHAHAHA!!!
Caitshidhe: IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU
Damen: *evil smiley* Don't be afraid to turn off the lights.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on October 03, 2012, 07:08:01 pm
Am I the only one who talks via IM on this forum? :-\

---

Deimos: I made a guy choke on his sammich during a lecture
Damen: Fun
Damen: On phone, brb
Damen: Okay, I'm back.
Deimos: wb
Damen: Danke
Deimos: pazhalsta
Deimos: I made him choke by saying "its so hot today, been guzzling more water than I do semen"
Damen: ...you're special.
Damen: A special kind of gay.
Damen: Now I see why gay marriage was defeated there.
Damen: :P
Damen: IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUUU!!!
Deimos: :P
Deimos: I'm the best gay
Deimos: yeah well. when gays stop being a bunch of prancy dancy faggots I'll reconsidering making it easier for them
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on October 03, 2012, 09:02:59 pm
You don't wanna know what I use IM for.

Ironbite-cause it's boring.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on October 10, 2012, 05:33:50 pm
I go to eat and have a ride around town on my motorcycle and this is the message that greets me when I come home:

Deimos: why don't random strangers like it when you go up to them and say "...your loins are exceptional"
Deimos: it's like they can't take a compliment
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on October 24, 2012, 12:07:51 pm
I'll just leave this here.  McWeaksauce is my ex, Brian.

the_l1985:  have some nightmare fuel.
the_l1985: http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb208/ongaru/Dolls/not_minor_damage.png

McWeaksauce: ~RAGE~

the_l1985: That is actually what the pictures looked like on eBay.
the_l1985: Literally the ONLY change I made was to add that text.
the_l1985: And then there's this.   http://www.ebay.com/itm/American-girls-Lindsey-retired-TLC-/170929635322?pt=US_Dolls_Bears_Toys&hash=item27cc333ffa
the_l1985: Tell me what that stain looks like to you.

McWeaksauce: is that blood?

the_l1985: The seller says it's "something ink like."
the_l1985: THE SELLER DOESN'T KNOW.
the_l1985: That doll could totally be on her period.

McWeaksauce: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwbv5wLSdK1r757rdo1_500.png
McWeaksauce: I LOVE WOONASTUCK

the_l1985: lol

McWeaksauce: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwbt33zCum1r757rdo1_500.gif

the_l1985: yes
the_l1985: ...and isn'tthat what snowglobes are FOR?

McWeaksauce: To be a snow god!

the_l1985: Yes!
the_l1985: http://www.ebay.com/itm/American-Girl-Bitty-Baby-Twins-Dolls-Blond-Hair-Blue-Eyes-Extras-Girl-Damaged-/130789931413?pt=US_Dolls_Bears_Toys&hash=item1e73aff995  Holy BALLS, is that a good deal.

McWeaksauce: Fitty bucks?

the_l1985: To put into perspective:  The twins and the "Learn to Share" book, alone, are $105 from AG.  The snack set is another 20 or 30 dollars.

McWeaksauce: Damn, that's WarHammer 40k level there

the_l1985: This is $50 + $12 shipping + $22 for a new head on the girl = $84
the_l1985: Oh yeah, AG stuff is crazy-expensive.

McWeaksauce: it sounds that way...

the_l1985: Also, AG charges an insane amount for head reattachment.
the_l1985: To put this in perspective:  You can reattach your doll's head. For free.  Just stick it in the neck-hole and tighten the strings (or put in a zip-tie).
the_l1985: AG charges $32 to put an American Girl's head back on, or $16 to put Bitty Baby's head back on.

McWeaksauce: ...

the_l1985: Yes.
the_l1985: It is seriously listed in the Doll Hospital repair form as "head reattachment."
the_l1985: Here's the form.  Capitalism, FUCK YEAH!!  http://store.americangirl.com/static/dollHospital/images/doll_hospital_usa.pdf


Don't get me wrong, I love American Girl dolls, but...damn.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on October 27, 2012, 11:06:46 pm
This conversation was about i think Cum digestion and masturbation to pie is acceptable dinner conversation

Cait says:
 well of course it is
 what else would we talk about?
 I mean, if we just discussed opera, politics, art, and the meaning of life we'd all get bored off our tits
Hofstadters' Tortoise says:
 ....i love you so much right now
Cait says:
 when has that ever changed?
 I have an honourary dick and testicles for how much you love me
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on November 13, 2012, 09:08:32 pm
6:57 PM - LCDR.Khriston W Robinson: any way guess what my theses paper is on
6:57 PM - Antechrist: What?
6:59 PM - LCDR.Khriston W Robinson: Cuttlefish  or more spacificl the Etomaligy and Evalutionary binarys of the Sepiida Common
7:00 PM - Antechrist: Nice
7:01 PM - LCDR.Khriston W Robinson: should be its supposed to be about 10 to 11 pages long single space with a minimum of 100 spelling and grmatical errors
7:01 PM - Antechrist: Minimum?
7:02 PM - LCDR.Khriston W Robinson: shit ment max of 100
7:02 PM - Antechrist: lol
7:02 PM - Antechrist: hahahaha
7:02 PM - Antechrist: "Now, if I can comprehend your assignment, I'm docking you ten points."
7:02 PM - Antechrist: Sorry, but that's the best typo ever.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on December 08, 2012, 12:56:52 am
10:50 PM - Antechrist: Memphis
10:50 PM - Antechrist: Dalbello
10:50 PM - MaybeNever: In isle of that sama did Catholic.
10:50 PM - MaybeNever: Season Lorimer Cement.
10:50 PM - Antechrist: skylab every center
10:50 PM - Antechrist: birthday prohibitist action
10:50 PM - MaybeNever: Yet the pope there's a lot was.
10:51 PM - Antechrist: prior to us all with reporters of it
10:51 PM - Antechrist: pitted
10:51 PM - MaybeNever: At a really good partniak allowed.
10:51 PM - Antechrist: money is judge by the way
10:51 PM - Antechrist: because of theverbal
10:51 PM - MaybeNever: South Africans may play Canadian.
10:52 PM - MaybeNever: Analysts unable Bloomberg yeah.
10:52 PM - MaybeNever: Glycolic god-like.
10:52 PM - MaybeNever: Within the data Ronnie and Catholic.
10:52 PM - Antechrist: you were at the sea people like that
10:52 PM - Antechrist: analysts babylon
10:52 PM - Antechrist: haha
10:53 PM - Antechrist: Youtube Closed Captioning, ladies and gentlemen.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on December 15, 2012, 12:16:07 am
Emperor Of Zombies: well these powdr gangers are gonna feel a plasma caster up thier ass
Antechrist: All to the wonderful sounds of smooth jazz.
Emperor Of Zombies: indeed
Emperor Of Zombies: I wonder if you play a smooth jazz song over stuff will it be more awesome
Antechrist: Probably
Antechrist: Doing the dishes to smooth jazz.
Antechrist: Unclogging the toilet to smooth jazz.
Emperor Of Zombies: doing taxes to smooth jazz
Antechrist: "My assets are hot, but everything is... cooooooolllll."
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on December 16, 2012, 03:03:02 am
Damen: Meepmeep?
Madame Scarlet: There is booze in me.
Damen: Sounds kinda dirty when you say it like that. :P
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Caitshidhe on December 16, 2012, 03:25:00 am
Quote
damen178: Yep. I have very small hands.
damen178 is typing...
damen178: I could fist a fairy

Context is for losers.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on December 16, 2012, 02:01:20 pm
I miss scarlet

ironbite-i know she doesn't miss me
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on December 16, 2012, 06:59:37 pm
Damen: They're having an interfaith service for the shooting victims in a few minutes. Obama's attending.
Caitshidhe: WELL OF COURSE IT'D BE INTERFAITH FOR BARACK HUSSEIN ALLAH MOHAMMED OSAMA-OBAMA
Caitshidhe: THE EVIL MOOOZLEEEM
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on December 17, 2012, 01:48:21 pm
I rather liked Obama's speech at that service.  It was the first time in years I heard the "Let the children come to me" verse and it didn't make me queasy.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on December 18, 2012, 03:23:43 am
Damen: Did Deimos tell you that he got mugged the other day?
Caitshidhe: no!
Caitshidhe: he did not!
Caitshidhe: is he okay? what happened?
Damen: Seems he got beaten up pretty bad. Think they broke his nose and gave him a concussion.
Caitshidhe: JUDSI FOHDSIUF
Caitshidhe: oh my god oh my god poor guy
Caitshidhe: *panics*
Damen: Calm down, love. This happened a few days ago, he's been to the hospital and he'll be fine.
Caitshidhe: *snuffles*
Caitshidhe: but still
Caitshidhe: I worry
Caitshidhe: poor baby
Caitshidhe: my poor faggy
Caitshidhe: *sobs*
Damen: *hugs* He's fine. His head is too hard to crack.
Caitshidhe: still
Caitshidhe: you know me
Caitshidhe: I worry
Damen: Is there anything I can do to help?
Caitshidhe: no, I just seem to have a very strong protective reflex
Caitshidhe: it'd probably make me a decent mother if I didn't hate children so much I'd eat my own as soon as I washed the blood off
Damen: ...well there's a mental image I'll never forget.
Caitshidhe: you're welcome!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: chad sexington on December 19, 2012, 10:38:56 pm
Eh?  Did Deimos get mugged? :o
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on January 06, 2013, 12:14:08 am
Damen: So, I'm watching an interview that Michelle Jenneke gave a while back. I find it interesting that she wants to go to uni to study mechtronic engineering.
Deimos: who's that
Damen: The Australian hurdler who gave the internet a collective boner last summer with her warm-up dance.
Deimos: oh that
Damen: Ya, her.
Deimos: ...stop creeping
Damen: *youtube vid*
Damen: Deimos, I am to creepy perv as you are to cocks and global annihilation.
Deimos: ....I do enjoy cocks and nuclear fire..
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 12, 2013, 03:03:51 am
12:59 AM - MaybeNever: On the other hand, the finale for season 3 is Best of Both Worlds.
12:59 AM - Antechrist: Excellent.
1:00 AM - Antechrist: THE episode.
1:00 AM - Antechrist: I remember when that first aired.
1:00 AM - MaybeNever: I do too. The year was 1990, and the collapse of the Soviet Union was well under way.
1:01 AM - MaybeNever: The Charleston had made a surprise return, only to go roaring back out so hard in 1991 that it actually rewrote history.
1:01 AM - MaybeNever: In the White House, the elder George Bush was changing some history of his own by pretending he'd never promised not to raise taxes.
1:01 AM - MaybeNever: While somewhere, his son and namesake was learning to stand erect at the tender age of 30.
1:02 AM - Antechrist: This is the best thing ever.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 15, 2013, 08:25:37 am
6:24 AM - MaybeNever: I'm sure when Zach Quinto knocks on your door and his shirt somehow falls off and he relates how he had always wanted to romance a woman just like you and then his weiner flops out, it will come to your mind and ruin everything.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Hades on January 15, 2013, 09:02:42 am
I think I speak for everyone when I say that it should be considered a crime against humanity that MaybeNever doesn't write for a living.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on January 24, 2013, 12:54:50 am
Deimos: Ohhhhh my gooood
Deimos: I just saw an for a hauling company
Deimos: Called
Deimos: Jolly's U-pull it
Deimos: Fappage!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on January 26, 2013, 02:28:07 am
12:25 AM - MaybeNever: Mostly because you love Spock
12:25 AM - Antechrist: I do not love Spock.
12:26 AM - MaybeNever: Fascinating
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on February 10, 2013, 11:55:50 pm
Context who needs context!?


Emperor Of Zombies: I just got some it feels weird in my mouth
Emperor Of Zombies: wow does that sound dirty
Antechrist: Just a bit
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on February 24, 2013, 09:48:01 pm
Deimos: also
Deimos: take note
Deimos: wondering aloud if your rectum could be used as a pocket
Deimos: apparently not socially acceptable
Deimos: whod thunk it
Damen: ...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on February 24, 2013, 09:50:18 pm
Deimos: also
Deimos: take note
Deimos: wondering aloud if your rectum could be used as a pocket
Deimos: apparently not socially acceptable
Deimos: whod thunk it
Damen: ...
Quoth Nash from WTFIWWY: "It's not a Bag of Holding!"
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on February 28, 2013, 02:52:48 am
During a discussion about our hatred of our hair

Emperor Of Zombies: I wish I had straight hair it’s so much easier to manage than curly hair
Antechrist: Tell me about it.
Antechrist: And hairdressers are more likely to fuck up curly hair.
Antechrist: Mines kind of like 3B
Emperor Of Zombies: apparently i have the 4C hair
Antechrist: I can definitely see that being tough to manage.
Emperor Of Zombies: I kinda hate my ex in this regard she has such straight bouncy hair
Antechrist: Lucky chick.
Emperor Of Zombies: yeah apparently it runs In her family
Emperor Of Zombies: makes me wonder if we actually did stay together long enough to have kids what would the look like since my girlfriend was Hispanic
Antechrist: They're probably be gorgeous. Afro-Latino kids usually are.
Emperor Of Zombies: My kids would be the envy of all the parents
Antechrist: LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BABIES
Emperor Of Zombies: and to the IM thread this go’s
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Caitshidhe on March 04, 2013, 12:27:33 am
Damen: It seems my cock is a powerlifter.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 04, 2013, 12:28:55 am
I do not deny this.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 09, 2013, 06:39:50 am
4:27 AM - MaybeNever: Turn you on, eh?
4:27 AM - MaybeNever: The sum of the squares of the two sides of a right triangle are equal to the square of the hypotenuse!
4:27 AM - MaybeNever: Wait, that's teaching you a lesson.
4:27 AM - MaybeNever: About trigonometry!
4:27 AM - Antechrist: Keep going.
4:28 AM - MaybeNever: In 1871 the Prussian conquest of France resulted in the annexation of the territories of Alsace-Lorraine, which became a major point of contention leading to World War I!
4:28 AM - Antechrist: Don't stop.
4:28 AM - Antechrist: I'm almost there.
4:29 AM - MaybeNever: Karl Marx was a theorist supported by his wealthy capitalist friend Friedrich Engels!
4:29 AM - Antechrist: YES
4:29 AM - MaybeNever: Oh baby, Ottoman dominance over Egypt waned over the nineteenth century until in 1882 British gunboats bombarded its capital and established a protectorate.
4:29 AM - Antechrist: Uhhhhnnnnnn
4:29 AM - Antechrist: Uuuuunnnnn
4:30 AM - Antechrist: Ahhhhh
4:31 AM - MaybeNever: The Oxford comma is any comma used to delineate a series of statements, but is contentious as in some cases it clarifies and in others obscures meaning.
4:31 AM - MaybeNever: All over your tits.
4:31 AM - Antechrist: arrrrrrrrhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHh
4:31 AM - Antechrist: Ahhhhh
4:31 AM - Antechrist: ahhhhhh
4:31 AM - Antechrist: ...
4:31 AM - Antechrist: Ah.
4:31 AM - Antechrist: I'm spent.
4:32 AM - MaybeNever: Made history come alive.
4:33 AM - MaybeNever: Intelligence is the best aphrodisiac.
4:34 AM - MaybeNever: Unfortunately we will have to disentangle ours for awhile, so I can go be asleep for a bit.
4:34 AM - Antechrist: Just like a man to fall asleep after orgasm.
4:34 AM - MaybeNever: :(
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on March 09, 2013, 02:33:44 pm
Giggity.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 12, 2013, 03:18:18 am
Chad Sexington: but I'm not a ninja
Damen: Yes you are.
Damen: Wanna know how I know?
Chad Sexington: ok, how
Damen: Because you're a guy. And if there is another human in a two block radius we turn into ninjas when rubbing one out.
Chad Sexington:  :o
Damen: We are the wind! *whishwhishwhish*
Chad Sexington: dude...
Damen: See?
Damen: Told ya.
Damen:  ;D
Chad Sexington:  :-[
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 23, 2013, 09:00:56 pm
Caitshidhe: call my quirky but I prefer pussy to taste like pussy
Caitshidhe: ...this is going in the quote thread, isn't it?
Damen: *angel face*
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Caitshidhe on March 23, 2013, 09:02:00 pm
...you forgot the most important bit that precedes those lines:

caitshidhe: I CAN'T EAT RELIGIOUS PUSSY, OKAY??
damen178: I can. Tastes like delusion.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on March 23, 2013, 09:03:31 pm
We're going to hell...which may or may not exist.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on March 30, 2013, 01:11:19 am
11:06 PM - MaybeNever: I like when she purrs and sighs.
11:06 PM - Antechrist: Geordi has a nice ass
11:06 PM - MaybeNever: It is too cute.
11:06 PM - MaybeNever: Haha.
11:06 PM - MaybeNever: Good timing, my comment.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: gomer21xx on April 09, 2013, 03:46:43 pm
[2:26:59 PM] Gomer: We should clone you, like Hagan's minions.  And then use the combined sex appeal to conquer the world. =3
[2:27:29 PM] The_L: Mwahahaha!!
[2:27:38 PM] The_L: LET THE REIGN OF FABULOSITY BEGIN!!
[2:27:47 PM] Gomer: YES! XD
[2:33:34 PM] Gomer: Hmmmm... what would one call a gangbang involving nothing but your clones?  An L-bang?
[2:34:03 PM] The_L: I have no fucking clue
[2:34:08 PM] The_L: But you're not cloning me. :P
[2:34:20 PM] Gomer: Damn.  Fine, we'll clone Cait, then. XD
[2:34:45 PM] The_L: lol yay
[2:35:03 PM] Gomer: Then keep one aside to make more videos, dammit! XD
[2:35:43 PM] The_L: rofl
[2:37:36 PM] Gomer: And if Cait doesn't want to be cloned, then we'll clone someone else.
[2:39:10 PM] Gomer: Maybe Lady Renae, I dunno.  The size of her tits alone would make people stop for about three seconds.
[2:39:52 PM] The_L: Yes, but what if the clones are also gay?
[2:40:39 PM] Gomer: Doesn't matter.  The distraction of sex appeal would be enough.  We'd just have to cement power before the straights lost interest.
[2:40:47 PM] Gomer: *lose, rather.
[2:40:56 PM] The_L: lol
[2:42:07 PM] Gomer: I'd say clone Brooke, but then -I- would end up banging most of them. XD
[2:42:34 PM] Gomer: And get way too distracted. =P

Edit:  The day I post this, Cait puts up a new video. XD I swear, she bugged either my computer or L's!
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on April 16, 2013, 10:21:11 pm
[4/15/2013 9:31:35 PM] Random: letting ipod sync
[4/15/2013 9:31:40 PM] Random: then I have to go
[4/15/2013 9:31:44 PM] Tank: I misread that as "letting god sync"
[4/15/2013 9:31:46 PM] Tank: and I was like "wat"
[4/15/2013 9:31:47 PM] Tank: d:
[4/15/2013 9:32:25 PM] Random: Downloading Safari safe browsing data (Step 6 of 6)
Syncing God (Step 777 of 6)
[4/15/2013 9:32:43 PM] Tank: ... :P
[4/15/2013 9:32:50 PM] Tank: SO U *R* SYNCING GOD
[4/15/2013 9:32:51 PM] Tank: :P
[4/15/2013 9:32:55 PM] Random: Syncing Jesus
[4/15/2013 9:33:05 PM] Random: Syncing Holy Ghost
[4/15/2013 9:33:17 PM] Random: Trinity successfully updated to the latest version
[4/15/2013 9:33:25 PM] Tank: you now have
[4/15/2013 9:33:30 PM] Tank: ...an iGod
[4/15/2013 9:33:31 PM] Tank: :P
[4/15/2013 9:33:35 PM] Random: ...yes
[4/15/2013 9:33:50 PM] Random: you can post this in the IM thread if you want
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on May 08, 2013, 02:48:48 am
[2:30:31 AM] Random: http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_446239&feature=iv&src_vid=4MLDEUEEFZE&v=-ZWarKZ2owI hot dogs
[2:30:52 AM] Tank: I CAN'T
I know they're made of horrible things, I JUST...I CAN'T
:P
[2:30:59 AM] Random: :P
[2:31:13 AM] Random: "made from a mix of pork, beef, and chicken"
[2:31:24 AM] Random: unless you get all beef ones~
[2:31:43 AM] Random: oh, and maybe horse too--*shot*
[2:31:45 AM] Tank: pig eyes*
bull testicles*
chicken gizzards*

idk
:p
[2:31:46 AM] Tank: .. :p
[2:31:47 AM] Tank: ..... :p
[2:31:53 AM] Tank: well, maybe if I go to Tesco
[2:31:54 AM] Tank: :p
[2:32:00 AM] Random: lol chicken gizzards
[2:32:18 AM] Random: gizzard is one of those inherently funny words
[2:32:22 AM] Tank: ~d:
[2:32:54 AM] Random: "processed chicken trimmings are added" *glop*
[2:33:01 AM] Random: "and food starch"
[2:33:21 AM] Random: salt and 'other flavourings'
[2:33:38 AM] Tank: ./clear
:p
[2:33:59 AM] Random: these flavourings vary *nondescript white powder is thrown into the mix*
[2:34:21 AM] Random: *nondescript brownish powder on top of that*
[2:34:50 AM] Random: looks like cocaine and beef stock
[2:35:09 AM] Random: everything is blended together in a big vat
[2:35:17 AM] Random: let us now meditate upon the word 'vat'
[2:35:42 AM] Random: consider, if you will, the images your mind brings up when you hear the word 'vat'
[2:36:29 AM] Random: corn syrup, that's not so bad
[2:36:51 AM] Tank: :P
[2:37:33 AM] Tank: WELL, I GUESS I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE WATCHED THE VIDEO
[2:37:34 AM] Tank: :P
[2:38:59 AM] Random: "Another machine then purees the meat batter into a fine emulsion(?) and vacuums out any air"
[2:39:07 AM] Random: yes. Meat batter.
[2:39:26 AM] Tank: stahp

STAHP
:P
[2:39:54 AM] Random: cellulose tubing..
[2:40:12 AM] Random: okay, I'm done
[2:40:15 AM] Tank: :p
[2:40:31 AM] Random: DAMN, that machine's spitting them out fast
[2:41:02 AM] Random: it takes just 35 seconds to make a chain of hot dogs that would span a soccer field. Twice.
[2:43:44 AM] Tank: :p
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on May 13, 2013, 03:10:01 am
Damen: *NSFW pic of a guy and a whole lot of dildos*
Deimos: Heh, i love that one
Deimos: It's like me as an old cat lady
Deimos: Instead of a lady i would have a cock
Deimos: And instead of cats i would have dildos
Deimos: And instead of getting peed on by billions of cats i would shove all the dildos up my butt
Damen: ...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on June 06, 2013, 04:49:53 am
Damen:
(click to show/hide)
Deimos: Thats a porn movie begging to happen
Damen: ...why didn't I think of that?
Deimos: Thats what happens when you spend time away from hofstadters
Deimos: Less porn moments

*edit*

Deimos: Also less quotes related to cock
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on June 07, 2013, 02:14:32 am
Welp, Hofstadter and I were talking about him playing Medieval II: Total War and how he likes to play Brits when invading other countries. And then we get this:

Deimos: Slaughtering natives doesnt have the same feel unless youre holding a natives decapitated head and saying "care for some tea and biscuits"
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Igor on June 28, 2013, 01:17:39 am
[1:09:31 AM] Random: Caligula was nuts though :P
[1:10:45 AM] Tank: ...BUT STILL
[1:10:47 AM] Tank: :P
[1:10:55 AM] Random: :P
[1:14:21 AM] Tank: :P
[1:14:36 AM] Random: well, Film Brain likes it
[1:15:06 AM] Random: he says it;s a true family film in that it actually does have something for everyone
[1:15:15 AM] Random: ..Despicable Me 2, I mean
[1:15:19 AM] Random: ...not Caligula
[1:15:21 AM] Tank: ...I WAS ABOUT TO SAY
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Osama bin Bambi on July 02, 2013, 02:16:55 am
23:15   Zachski   Incidentally, a T-Rex crashed through our living room window. That was interesting.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: PosthumanHeresy on July 02, 2013, 04:12:53 am
[2:26:59 PM] Gomer: We should clone you, like Hagan's minions.  And then use the combined sex appeal to conquer the world. =3
[2:27:29 PM] The_L: Mwahahaha!!
[2:27:38 PM] The_L: LET THE REIGN OF FABULOSITY BEGIN!!
[2:27:47 PM] Gomer: YES! XD
[2:33:34 PM] Gomer: Hmmmm... what would one call a gangbang involving nothing but your clones?  An L-bang?
[2:34:03 PM] The_L: I have no fucking clue
[2:34:08 PM] The_L: But you're not cloning me. :P
[2:34:20 PM] Gomer: Damn.  Fine, we'll clone Cait, then. XD
[2:34:45 PM] The_L: lol yay
[2:35:03 PM] Gomer: Then keep one aside to make more videos, dammit! XD
[2:35:43 PM] The_L: rofl
[2:37:36 PM] Gomer: And if Cait doesn't want to be cloned, then we'll clone someone else.
[2:39:10 PM] Gomer: Maybe Lady Renae, I dunno.  The size of her tits alone would make people stop for about three seconds.
[2:39:52 PM] The_L: Yes, but what if the clones are also gay?
[2:40:39 PM] Gomer: Doesn't matter.  The distraction of sex appeal would be enough.  We'd just have to cement power before the straights lost interest.
[2:40:47 PM] Gomer: *lose, rather.
[2:40:56 PM] The_L: lol
[2:42:07 PM] Gomer: I'd say clone Brooke, but then -I- would end up banging most of them. XD
[2:42:34 PM] Gomer: And get way too distracted. =P

Edit:  The day I post this, Cait puts up a new video. XD I swear, she bugged either my computer or L's!
Aren't you afraid of the Mistress killing you all for stealing her cloning technology?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: ironbite on July 02, 2013, 07:12:33 pm
Yes the Mistress...bout that.....
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist on July 16, 2013, 03:25:11 am
Summary of our conversation while watching Sharknado:

Antechrist: HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Antechrist: AHAHAHAHAHHA
Antechrist: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHA
Antechrist: HAHAHAHAHHA
Antechrist: OH MY GOD
MaybeNever: Eat chainsaw, you shark!
Antechrist: HAHAHAHHAHAHHA
Antechrist: Ever seen a shark give birth to man>
Antechrist: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Antechrist: ARE YOU SERIOUS

However, enjoy these snippets as well:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on July 17, 2013, 10:46:46 pm
アマテラス: I think I know what I must do when I get to Disney
Antechrist: What?
アマテラス: I have to get at least one group of people to start randomly singing "To Be a Man" from Mulan
Antechrist: Haha, do it1
アマテラス: I will It would be so fucking awesome to see a bunch of random sods in Magic Kingdom singing that
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Mira on July 24, 2013, 05:14:17 pm
MaybeNever: Yes, your spirit animal is ovaries.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Mira on July 25, 2013, 02:35:57 pm
   <Lithp>    The cat's dead.
   <Lithp>   I found it in a box.
   <Mira>   Seriously?
   <Lithp>   Maybe.
   <Mira>   So no
   <Lithp>   I am uncertain about these jokes.
   <Mira>   You're like the boy who cried Lithp
   <Lithp>   Observation won't tell me whether or not they're better than eye puns.
   <Lithp>   Iris you wouldn't use my name to replace random words.
   <Lithp>   It's so unsightly.
   <Lithp>   And very cornea you.
   <Mira>   Oh, also, most good blades are coated in a non-corroding metal
   <Mira>   But you should still dry them after use
   <Lithp>   Can you lens me yours, so that I can try it out?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Mira on July 28, 2013, 04:57:37 pm
MaybeNever: Yes, my weird sick fetishes are much more about religion, ethnicity, and social strata.
MaybeNever: The lumpenproletariat doesn't just make revolutions hard, if you know what I mean.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Mira on July 28, 2013, 10:16:13 pm
Mira: My chosen name was actually Katie
MaybeNever: Your chosen name?
MaybeNever: As in, they expected a girl?
Mira: They expected a vagina
MaybeNever: Do you intend to eventually give them one?
Mira: Yes, it is only fair
MaybeNever: Make sure to put it in a pretty box.
Mira: Hopefully it will be a pretty box
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Flying Mint Bunny! on July 29, 2013, 05:49:26 am
Jérémy: the point is when you talk with someone eventually, the word "friendship" will pop out
Moxie Crimefighter: well yes
Jérémy says: if it happens and one of the two don't care about the other the other gets hurt now, about us I like you but sometimes, I just don't understand you sometimes it feels like I'm your toy and you don't care sending a rollercoaster right at my face
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on August 02, 2013, 09:58:09 pm
Mira: My chosen name was actually Katie
MaybeNever: Your chosen name?
MaybeNever: As in, they expected a girl?
Mira: They expected a vagina
MaybeNever: Do you intend to eventually give them one?
Mira: Yes, it is only fair
MaybeNever: Make sure to put it in a pretty box.
Mira: Hopefully it will be a pretty box

This is beautiful.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Søren on September 08, 2013, 10:45:10 pm
*talking about a classmate boyfriend hates*
Boyfriend: I have to look up his picture to show you, some pictures just engender rage
*five minutes later*
Boyfriend: [link]
me: oh wow. thats bad
boyfriend: I know!
me: just replace the hat with a fedora and a status admitting hes a brony and he fits the perfect representative of the annoying side of the internet
boyfriend: he is a brony
me: I FUCKING KNEW IT
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on October 22, 2013, 01:17:34 am
While discussing the various ways my junk has been almost destroyed

Amaterasu-Ōmikami: hell for some reason the world want's my junk gone since I dropped a clip on them yesterday
Antechrist: Perhaps the world is trying to do you a favour, in a twisted way.
Amaterasu-Ōmikami: A twisted annoying way.
Antechrist: "Don't worry, buddy, we'll take care of those annoying balls. It'll just take a few hundred shots to the nuts to solve them."
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Zygarde on November 26, 2013, 01:22:07 pm
I don't care if it's two post right after one another


Amaterasu-Ōmikami: also my D key broke off.
KZN02: Looks like someone needs the D.
Amaterasu-Ōmikami: i should punch you for that but I won't since I set my self up for that one.
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on January 10, 2014, 12:06:00 pm
A little conversation with Madame Scarlet had me laughing. ;D

Damen: Seems like up until now work was eating your life away. We've talked often and it seems like most of the time you were either at work or on your way to or from it. I was starting to wonder if you even knew what your apartment looked like. :P
Madame Scarlet: A mess. :P
Madame Scarlet: There's a floor in it somewhere.
Damen: Ever look around at it and think "Now that's just not fair; I'm not here long enough for it to get that messy."?
Madame Scarlet: No.
Madame Scarlet: I'm just not there long enough to clean anything.
Damen: Heh, I've had moments when I'd look at some bit of funk in my room and think "When the hell did that get there?"
Madame Scarlet: I think I will name the mess Freddy.
Madame Scarlet: Freddy's been steadily growing for months.
Madame Scarlet: Sometimes I have the energy to hack away at bits of him, but not often enough to make a big dent.
Madame Scarlet: Anyway, gotta guard.
Damen: ...that is so going up on the forums. :D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on April 13, 2014, 11:11:16 pm
[10:04:40 PM] Hofstadter's Tortoise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cirhQ8iLdbw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cirhQ8iLdbw)
[10:04:45 PM] Hofstadter's Tortoise: watch the whole thing
[10:04:47 PM] Hofstadter's Tortoise: trust me
[10:05:00 PM] Hofstadter's Tortoise: like normally theres a dick when i say trust me
[10:05:08 PM] Hofstadter's Tortoise: but this time its asian music
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: TheL on April 16, 2014, 05:41:08 pm
I dunno, Hof...
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on April 16, 2014, 05:44:34 pm
What the fuck did I just watch?
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: mellenORL on April 16, 2014, 06:24:31 pm
So wrong. ;D
Title: Re: IM Conversation Thread
Post by: Damen on July 06, 2014, 10:09:33 pm
(after a long net fart, I return to Skype and this happens)

[6:59:00 PM] Hofstadter: nyur
[8:56:52 PM] Hofstadter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Qfi8qXKaA смотри
[9:04:35 PM] John Damen: Bah.
[9:04:44 PM] Hofstadter: its awesome!
[9:06:54 PM] John Damen: Not sure if want.
[9:07:16 PM] Hofstadter: did i accidentally send you porn...
[9:07:18 PM] Hofstadter: ...do
[9:07:20 PM] Hofstadter: no
[9:07:20 PM] Hofstadter: ok good