Single sex dorms makes it harder to prevent rape

[gyeonghwa]

http://www.good.is/post/sex-rape-and-single-sex-dorms-how-promoting-virtue-can-make-it-hard-to-prevent-violence/

Then again, Catholic U. had already sex-segregated all of its dorms by wing, floor, or building. And yet, students who attend Catholic-identified colleges are more likely to have sex than those who attend secular and Protestant schools. So perhaps a student's proximity to potential sexual partners is not the sole factor at play here.

In fact, when I surveyed the sexual activity at Catholic U. in 2009, the university's attempts to clamp down on relations—it bans all premarital sex, masturbation included—only made students' "risky behavior" riskier. College students at every school are going to find a way to hook up; at Catholic, they were just forced to sneak behind the backs of the school administration and the residence assistants tasked with keeping them safe. Catholic University students had limited access to condoms and birth control and were less comfortable approaching authority figures over sex-related problems.

The boys claimed the sex was consensual. But at Catholic, the line between consensual sex and rape was blurred beyond recognition: Both were sins against God, and very much against the rules. In 2008, CUA defined "Sexual Misconduct" as “physical contact of a sexual nature that is unwanted by either party and/or that is disruptive to the university community." On a campus where masturbation and gang rape are outlawed in the same line, the process of preventing and reporting truly damaging sexual behavior becomes a lot more complicated. The girl sued the university, claiming that it failed to investigate and adjudicate the case in a timely matter. The case was settled out of court.

Stopping sex and preventing interaction between men and women isn't the answer.

[m52nickerson]

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

[TheL]

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

This.

Purity balls and strict courtship rules are the reason why the Facebook group "I Can't Wait to Get Married so that I Can Have Sex!!" exists.

Yes, it is devoted entirely to talking about sex.  But since you're talking about marital sex, it somehow ceases to be a sin that you're lusting your little gonads out.

[TheUnknown]

While it's true that single-sex dorms don't prevent "risky behaviors," they can often help, especially if the healthy behaviors are reinforced in other ways on campus. I spent a lot of time on two Catholic colleges - both with single sex dorms. One of them had quite a few students that were doing all the risky things, but the other one had zero accounts of rape, very few unplanned pregnancies, and not much premarital sex -- I worked as a therapist on the campus so I was privy to behind-the-scenes stuff. It's really about the school's entire environment, but single-sex dorms can help. In fact, I met a lot of students who even liked separate dorms - it was one factor in choosing their colleges. 
 
Single-sex dorms can have other benefits besides potential sex, drugs, and alcohol abuse prevention -- they offer more privacy, can foster friendships in different ways, and can sometimes help students focus on studies better.

Teaching people that they're evil for completely natural urges, especially masturbation, and that they should be ashamed of being human doesn't strike me as healthy.  At all.

Also, it's adorable how you think that because it was underreported, it didn't happen much at all.  I've seen hardline Muslims claim the same thing about hardline Islamic countries, about how since there were less reported cases or rape and pre-marital sex, it was somehow proof that Islam and countries under Islamic theocracy were better then western societies.

[Smurfette Principle]

My boyfriend almost went to Catholic University, and I'm glad he didn't. His university had sex positivity week, and included a rape prevention program as part of orientation (for the men as well as the women - they got a "how to tell your friend to back off" lecture). I shudder to think what would have happened at Catholic.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Libido, meet repression.  Try not to kill each other.

[gyeonghwa]

The whole purity thing. I think it cheapens marriage much more than any gay couple ever would. Considering that it leads people to marry just so they can have sex instead of building an actual relationship with them, it doesn't seem like something we should strive for.

[Osama bin Bambi]

The whole purity thing. I think it cheapens marriage much more than any gay couple ever would. Considering that it leads people to marry just so they can have sex instead of building an actual relationship with them, it doesn't seem like something we should strive for.

I know one of those "Purity Ring" couples. The girl likes to brag about the four children she's going to have with her boyfriend, and what their names will be. Of course the relationship is doomed to failure because she's... a very outspoken woman and her boyfriend's a WoW-addicted nerd who has no interest in kids. But they say they're going to get married as soon as they reach adulthood, no matter what. *facepalm*

[gyeonghwa]

The whole purity thing. I think it cheapens marriage much more than any gay couple ever would. Considering that it leads people to marry just so they can have sex instead of building an actual relationship with them, it doesn't seem like something we should strive for.

I know one of those "Purity Ring" couples. The girl likes to brag about the four children she's going to have with her boyfriend, and what their names will be. Of course the relationship is doomed to failure because she's... a very outspoken woman and her boyfriend's a WoW-addicted nerd who has no interest in kids. But they say they're going to get married as soon as they reach adulthood, no matter what. *facepalm*

Oh I already know a person how did that Purity Ring crap. The two wanted to bang. So they got married. She gets pregnant. Then it turns out they're both toxic for each other and a nasty divorce ensued. All before they were 21.

[Star Cluster]

Ooh, ooh, I've got one.

My wife's nephew, who quite frankly is a simpleton, started dating a woman (both in their early twenties) who was one of those "no sex before marriage" types.  I never could figure out the attraction because they were so completely different from each other.  Yeah, yeah, opposites attracting and all that, but this was just too opposite.  While she was just slightly overweight, she was still quite attractive, had an outgoing personality, and was fairly level-headed and responsible.  She even owned her own home.  Him, no so much.  He's rather skinny, shy, unassuming, not all that good looking and, as referenced earlier, dumb as a box of rocks.

Anyway, they end up getting married and she gets pregnant almost immediately.  About a year later, just after the baby is born, she turns into the bitch from hell, kicks his ass out, and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.

All it seems she was after was a sperm donor but because of either personal beliefs or parental pressure had to be married in order to get pregnant.   I figure she saw that she could manipulate him and get what she wanted without too much "inconvenience."

[Podkayne]

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

This.

Purity balls and strict courtship rules are the reason why the Facebook group "I Can't Wait to Get Married so that I Can Have Sex!!" exists.

Yes, it is devoted entirely to talking about sex.  But since you're talking about marital sex, it somehow ceases to be a sin that you're lusting your little gonads out.

Is that a real facebook group?

[Yla]

and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.

Careful, I think such a deal is legally worthless.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.

Careful, I think such a deal is legally worthless.

In other words, consult a lawyer?

---

I don't plan to get married or have sex anytime soon.  This is of course not because of purity, but because I'm poor and don't know any single ladies who want to fuck me.  I refuse to be part of an affair.

Also, I masturbate regularly, so we have that as a means to control my libido.

[Star Cluster]

and makes a deal with him that she won't seek child support if he'll sign away all parental rights to the kid and promises never to try seeing him or her ever again.

Careful, I think such a deal is legally worthless.

Signing away parental rights is legal, but it's usually done when giving a child up for adoption.  As I understand it, she did go through Social Services to do this legally and it wasn't just an agreement amongst themselves.  It supposedly released him of ever having to pay child support.  It also cleared the way for any future husband she may have to legally adopt the child.

However, knowing him and his mental capacities, she may have just told him it was a legal thing and he believed her.  Like I said, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  And after seeing what she did,  I certainly consider her a manipulative bitch, so all I know is what I've been told.

[Scotsgit]

The more you try and prevent people form doing things that more they will want to do them.

This.

Purity balls and strict courtship rules are the reason why the Facebook group "I Can't Wait to Get Married so that I Can Have Sex!!" exists.

I get the feeling that they will have a very looooooong wait.