Author Topic: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)  (Read 3911 times)

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Offline terri

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God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« on: July 16, 2012, 01:23:48 pm »
Someone named Linda Newkirk is trying to outdo Dec, Markuze, et al., in kookery by sending the following verbal diarrhea to various media outlets.  Pop a couple of aspirin and behold:

------------------

A disaster of epic proportions is brewing in the Gulf Region as the BP oil disaster returns with a vengance. The high pressure/high temperature crude from BP's deep well has been melting a huge deposit of frozen methane hydrate beneath the seafloor. The liberated gas is also under high pressure and is finding its way to the surface. Methane is a silent killer that is not only lethal to breathe, it is also extremely volatile.
 
Frightened residents in Assumption Parish LA are reporting that homes have moved on their foundations and that the ground is shaking at all times of the day and night.  Gas flows and bubbling are roiling the waters in the bayous while local officals investigate and look for answers. The following prophetic warning is quite sobering to say the least, it will soon be posted at prophecies.org in Book 12 if you wish to link to it.
 
 
The Great Methane Deposit Beneath The Gulf of Mexico is Melting;

And its’ terrible gases are rolling forth!

Repent, oh you people!


Dear Ones, we have entered into the very worst of times; and the great judgements of the Book of Revelation are now unfolding in our midst. The Lord have mercy on all of us in this nation! For, we have greatly sinned!

Dear Ones, we are all aware of the catastrophic oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico about two years past; and we also know of the great devastation, which was caused by this vast oil leak!

During those terrible days, we prayed; and we saw that our Lord was moved with compassion to delay some of the devastating effects of this terrible oil leak. In response to our prayers, He sent some geographical angels down into that fiery, hot oil mix and He, in His mercy, delayed some of the devastating events, which would have already come to pass! Blessed is His Holy Name!

At the time of that terrible oil leak, some of us also read about a very great lake of frozen methane gas, which lies beneath the Gulf of Mexico. Some geologists warned that this hot oil could leak into that lake of frozen methane gas and melt the frozen gas, causing the massive methane lake to rupture! Our Saviour also warned us about this great hazard!

We have seen the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina as this terrible storm ripped through New Orleans. And, we have seen the devastating effects of this great oil spill, and how the Gulf of Mexico has been systematically destroyed.

Due to the great contamination of the Gulf of Mexico through this oil spill, all of the seafood, which comes from that Gulf, is now suspect. Many reports have been issued, which have revealed that the seafood from this Gulf is plagued with all manner of cancers and skin sores. Truly, the whole Gulf of Mexico is greatly contaminated. But, now the people face an every greater danger and that danger is from the frozen methane lake, which is quickly melting.

Read our Saviour’s words and weep; for the bowls of judgments are now being poured out upon this wicked nation; and the just will surely suffer alongside the unjust!


Message from our Saviour

A great call to repentance: America is burning!

The Melting of the great, frozen, methane lake: The Third Great Judgement for Louisiana and for this nation!

June 30, 2012


My Blessed Child, I am your Father Yahweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God, yes Jesus, Lord of Lords and King of Kings! I tell you again, that I am One and the Same! I am your Saviour! I am your Redeemer; and I am Most High God; and besides Me, there is none! But, there come those, who wish to quibble, who wish to find fault and who wish to dispute the truth of who I am! And some say, "She speaks to another Jesus! She hears from another God!" But, I tell you, My Blessed Child, that among these very mockers are those, who speak to another god. They speak to another Jesus! For, I am not found among them; and these include some of your biggest critics, who control the churches, and who mock these works.

But, now, My Blessed Child, I come to you and I tell you a very important thing! And, this very important word is about to accelerate all of My judgements in the earth! Yes, people will look here and they will look there and they will say, "Oh, look at these Satanists! Oh, look what they do!" But, I tell you this! Hear Me in this! For, I am empowering the Satanists over you!

Just as I raised up Nebuchadnezzar and I empowered Nebuchadnezzar to come forward and to overrun and defeat My people, who did evil and who would not heed the warnings of My prophets, I have now raised up another in your midst! Indeed, he is Satan’s choice and Satan has put him over you through his secret organizations. But, I tell you now that I control Satan! He does what I allow and what I command!

I wrote the Book of Revelation; and I have spoken through My prophets down through the ages, for this is what My people chose. And, I have honored their choices!

The Antichrist in our midst!

But now, hear Me in this! Make no mistake about it! Barack Obama is the Antichrist! Whine all you want! Be in denial all that you want, but you will not change who he is; and you will not change the fact that I put him over you!

He is your worst nightmare, oh America; for he will burn you down and laugh as he sees you burning! He has no allegiance to America; for his allegiance is to Satan; and this man’s heart is set upon his rule of the whole world!

"The Time of the Burning!"

You, oh America, are but fodder for his fires, you wicked and adulterous peoples of America! And, burn you will! Yes, you will burn; and the fires will spread all across this nation, even before the nukes come! Yes, you will burn, oh America! For, you will not repent! And, because you will not repent; and I have called out to you for many years to repent of your evil ways, and you will not hear My cries, I tell you that you will burn! (The Lord warned the prophet, Dumutri Duman, that America will burn. We have now come to that time!)

Terrible Droughts and Famines!

And, the famines, great famines, will begin to rip across this land, from one city to another and from one part of this land to another! In years past, I warned you through My words, which I gave to My servant, Linda Newkirk. I told you that if you would not repent that I would dry up your corn fields, that I would bring famines; and you would not hear! You would not believe!

Now come the famines, and you can see it at your door! For, the droughts are so great! And, now the great fires come, yet few of you can see them, and these fires continue on! Now comes also the time when your antichrist president will wallow in his victories! For, now comes also the time when he is coming into his power!

The Fall of America!

What will you do, oh you decadent nation of America? You will fall! America will fall! Yes, America will fall, and all over the world, the people will shudder! They will panic! They will fear with a great fear! For, they shall soon say, "America is fallen!" Yes, the whore of the world is fallen! That old wicked woman, who made the world to drink of the cup of her perversions, has fallen!

Yet, not all will fear, but only those nations, who have depended upon you, will fear! Many will rejoice! Many will be joyful! They will be glad; for you, oh decadent nation of America have terrorized many nations!

Terrors From the South!

Now comes the time, and it is at your door, when many nations shall terrorize you, oh nation of America! For, as you have sown, so shall you reap!

The wind is coming! Yes, a very great wind from the South is coming! A very great Southerly wind will come upon this nation and this wind from the South will greatly trouble you!

Yes, the King of the South will rise up and he will collect his own nations; and they shall rise up to defeat and to overthrow this nation, not through war, not yet through war, but soon through war! However, at this time, they shall rise up; and soon, en masse, they will rise up to overthrow the dollar! And, this wind will blow hot! This wind will blow upon you with a great force and this great wind will cause you to suffer an irreparable crack in the economy of this nation. And, the rumbles of this great wind shall crash and crack and beat and dissolve, beat and dissolve, pound and pummel the very economic structure of this nation!

The Works of the Antichrist!

But, do not be alarmed when you see your president bow to them all; for he is not after your approval. He is after their glory! He is after their support! He is after their admiration; for he champions their causes! He is their man and he is your great enemy, oh America!

Yes, America, your president is the antichrist! He came out of Europe! In Europe, he was conceived and through the European Satanic elite, he was born! But, he is truly a man without a country; and because he is a man without a country, he is loyal to no country! His eyes are on the prize of world governance; for while he bows today to ingratiate himself to foreign rulers, tomorrow he will require that they all bow to him.

The Fulfillment of Our Saviour’s words!

Yes, Barack Obama is a man with a great plan; but remember: I wrote the plan! I put him over you, oh America; for I am going to use him to break your pride! I am going to use him to break your haughtiness. I am going to use him to break your economy! I am going to use him to fill up your concentration camps! I am going to use him to haul you off as slaves, oh you rebellious house! I am going to use him to further pollute you, oh Nation of America; for he hates you, oh wicked nation; and I will drive his hate towards you until he sees you in flames from one end of this nation to the other, from north to south and from east to west!

The Price of Rebellion

You will not repent, oh you wicked nation of America! You will not heed My calls to repent, or perish! You will not bow a knee to Me, to the Creator of All Things, but you will bow a knee to him! And, many of you will take his mark and will worship him, just to have food on your tables. For, you will not honor Me and My word! You will not repent! Therefore, you will worship him and you will lose your souls! For, you have loved evil! You have no regard for what is right! You love a lie! You love every perverted thing; and you will perish in your wicked ways!

The Great Judgements of our God against Louisiana and this nation!

Get ready, people of Louisiana! Get ready! Get ready for one of the greatest catastrophes that you will ever see! I have sent you warnings through the great devastation of Hurricane Katrina! This was My first great warning to you, oh people of Louisiana: my warning to repent, or perish. Yet, you have made yourselves busy in re-buiding that great decadent city of New Orleans, but you have not repented!

Then, I sent you even greater warnings through the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster! Great is this calamity and great have been your losses through this great calamity! But, still you have not repented!

These are My judgments, oh you blind, who lead the blind; but you would not see My handiwork in the midst of these great calamities. You would not see My judgements through these great catastrophes!

The Third Great Judgement Against Louisiana,

and the people of this nation!


Now, you do not see again what is happening to you! For, the great frozen methane lake, which is beneath the Gulf of Mexico, is quickly melting! The heat of the seeping oil, which is pouring into the frozen lake, is melting this great lake of frozen methane!

Yes, you watch in amazement as these methane bubbles come to the surface and some of you are surprised at the shifting of your homes. But, hear Me! For, you have seen nothing yet! This gas is finding its own exits!

A great volume of methane gas is pushing upwards and is seeking to find its own vents! As more of this gas pushes its way to the surface, there will come a shifting in the subterranean land masses. There shall come a subsequent shifting in the lands, both beneath the Gulf of Mexico, and even for some distance from the Gulf of Mexico!

Some of these land displacements will be great with ensuing earthquakes. But, the earthquakes will not compare to the unexpected explosions, and in many areas, unparalleled deaths of humans, animals and aquatic life and yes, even birds and other life forms!

Oh, you people of Louisiana, you would not listen! I have sent you two very great calamities and now comes a third. So great shall be your suffering! The stench, the stink of the dying shall be so great! And, many will say, "Who is going to Louisiana?" For, the explosions and the dying shall be so great among you!

And, when you see these terrible things hit Louisiana, know that this is My third, great judgment against this wicked state. It is a haughty state! It is full of idol worship and witchcrafts; and those in the churches will not obey Me. They will not walk in humility before Me. For, their song is, "How great I am!"

But, I tell you, oh state of Louisiana, you are a cancer! You are a grievous sore in My face! You are a great blot upon the face of the whole earth; and I will erase you!

I will continue in My judgements against you; and I will continue to plead with you to repent through My great judgements, until I erase your very existence! For, you are rotten, oh state of Louisiana! You are rotten to the core and I will no longer allow this evil before My face!

I tell you now; and hear Me well! The great methane bubble, which lies beneath the Gulf of Mexico, is beginning to rupture! As this great bubble ruptures, it will push out! It will begin to push out with great force! It will erupt beneath the ocean! It will erupt all along the Gulf Coast!

The great rupture of this methane gas will hit Florida! It will hit Texas! It will hit inland and move up beneath the Mississippi River! It will go south towards Cuba. It will go towards Mexico! It will spew forth, sometimes with small eruptions, but at other times, the eruptions of these gases will be so great that they will easily sink ships! And, there will come a time when travel in the Gulf of Mexico will be extremely hazardous!

Most often, the presence of these terrible gases will go undetected, but the effects of these gases will be deadly! Whole areas will come under attack, and there will be many "unexplained" deaths and sicknesses! This great gas explosion will be seen as the "silent killer."

The time is at hand, oh America! You have come to the time of your great judgements; and this bowl is now full and overflowing!

I am your Father, Yahweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God.

As witnessed, dictated and recorded this 30th day of June, 2012,

Linda Newkirk

Sending my heartfelt love to you all,


Dear Ones, here is a link] to one of the news stories about the methane releases.

AA Allen, in his famous Empire State Building vision saw the Statute Of Liberty fall in the Gulf!
 
Here is an excerpt......
 
As I looked, suddenly from the sky I saw a giant hand reach down. That gigantic hand was reaching out toward the Statue of Liberty. In a moment her gleaming torch was torn from her hand, and in it instead was placed a cup; and I saw protruding from that great cup a giant sword, shining as if a great light had been turned upon its glistening edge. Never before had I seen such a sharp, glistening, dangerous sword. It seemed to threaten all the world. As the great cup was placed in the hand of the Statue of Liberty, I heard these words, "Thus saith the Lord of hosts, drink ye and be drunken and spew and fall and rise no more because of the sword which I will send." As I heard these words, I recognized them as a quotation from Jeremiah 25:27. I was amazed to hear the Statue of Liberty speak out in reply, "I WILL NOT DRINK!" Then as the voice of the thunder, I heard again the voice of the Lord saying, "Ye shall certainly drink" (Jeremiah 25:28). Then suddenly the giant hand forced the cup to the lips of the Statue of Liberty, and she became powerless to defend herself. The mighty hand of God forced her to drink every drop from the cup. As she drank the bitter dregs, these were the words that I heard: "Should ye be utterly unpunished? Ye shall not be unpunished, for I will call for a sword upon all the inhabitants of the earth, saith the Lord of hosts" (Jeremiah 27:29)
 
War, , Destruction
 
When the cup was withdrawn from the lips of the Statute of Liberty, I noticed the sword was missing from the cup, which could mean but one thing. THE CONTENTS OF THE CUP HAD BEEN COMPLETELY CONSUMED! I knew that the sword merely typified war, , and destruction, which is no doubt on the way. Then as one drunken on too much wine, I saw the Statue of Liberty become unsteady on her feet and begin to stagger and to lose her balance. I saw her splashing in the gulf, trying to regain her balance. I saw her stagger again and again and fall to her knees. As I saw her desperate attempts to regain her balance and rise to her feet again, my heart was moved as never before with compassion for her struggles; but as she staggered there in the gulf, once again I heard these words: "Drink ye and be drunken and spew and fall and rise no more because of the sword which I will send among you" (Jeremiah 25:37).

This email has been sent to you by Mark Brander:mark_brander@yahoo.ca
E-mail:lnewkirk_46@msn.com

Mail: Linda Newkirk

P.O. Box 17277

North Little Rock, AR 72117

USA


« Last Edit: July 16, 2012, 01:42:13 pm by terri »

Offline ironbite

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert)
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2012, 01:32:08 pm »
SPOILER THAT SHIT JESUS FUCK!

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert)
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2012, 01:41:49 pm »

Offline starseeker

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2012, 04:12:07 pm »
Least there weren't any random pictures in it.

Offline SpaceProg

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2012, 04:31:05 pm »
If there were they probably would have been skulls and biohazard symbols, and biohazard symbols on skulls, with an All-Seeing-Eye or two just for that artistic touch.

Offline DrFishcake

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2012, 04:53:02 pm »
TL;DR, but...isn't this the same Louisiana that just fucked its school curriculum up? Could be that The Big Guy doesn't appreciate being made to look stupid by the people who claim to speak for him?

Offline Old Viking

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2012, 04:59:43 pm »
I don't mind being warned of impending catastrophe, but it would have to be much briefer than this to get my attention.  "Look out!" would do fine.
I am an old man, and I've seen many problems, most of which never happened.

Offline TheL

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2012, 06:52:11 pm »
TL;DR, but...isn't this the same Louisiana that just fucked its school curriculum up? Could be that The Big Guy doesn't appreciate being made to look stupid by the people who claim to speak for him?

You got a Fuck Yeah for that.
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Offline MadCatTLX

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2012, 10:17:46 pm »
I got to the first bolded section and noticed how long this shit is. Is there actually any methane related problems in Louisiana or is that bullshit too? Anyone got a TL;DR version? I'll read it all later, but I have a feeling it will be similar I tried to read all of Timecube. I got a quarter of the way through and I remember my head starting to feel weird.
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Offline tempus

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2012, 06:48:46 am »
Sure, we could have a Clathrate Gun go off in the Gulf.  Or the Black Sea.  Or pretty much anywhere where you have gargantuan deposits of methane hydrates on the seafloor, actually.  But if one oil rig blowing up was going to set it off, you'd think it would have happened long before now, considering that there's over 4,000 or so rigs presently deployed out there.

There isn't much use worrying about it, either.  If runaway clathrate breakdown happens on a massive scale, it's Permian Extinction Event II:  The Sequel, and there's exactly jack and shit we can do about it ahead of time other than make some token effort to save our species after the fact.   And Linda Newkirk is a toon either way.
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Offline Yla

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2012, 07:49:08 am »
Somebody wrote a Apocalypse fanfic..
That said, I've stopped trying to anticipate what people around here want a while ago, I've found it makes things smoother.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2012, 12:07:57 pm »
Sure, we could have a Clathrate Gun go off in the Gulf.  Or the Black Sea.  Or pretty much anywhere where you have gargantuan deposits of methane hydrates on the seafloor, actually.  But if one oil rig blowing up was going to set it off, you'd think it would have happened long before now, considering that there's over 4,000 or so rigs presently deployed out there.

There isn't much use worrying about it, either.  If runaway clathrate breakdown happens on a massive scale, it's Permian Extinction Event II:  The Sequel, and there's exactly jack and shit we can do about it ahead of time other than make some token effort to save our species after the fact.   And Linda Newkirk is a toon either way.

I'm not so sure about that. Last time this happened (the Paleocene/Eocene boundary) there was a huge increase in temperature, but it was nowhere near mass extinction level.

Offline VirtualStranger

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2012, 06:26:32 pm »
If this person had sprinkled in some jabs at PZ Myers and a few random Depeche Mode videos, you could probably be forgiven for mistaking them for Mabus.

Offline terri

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2012, 07:44:11 pm »
If this person had sprinkled in some jabs at PZ Myers and a few random Depeche Mode videos, you could probably be forgiven for mistaking them for Mabus.

And threw in some RANDOM CAPITALIZATION....

AND

eccentric paragraph breaks

THEN
you would have a Mabus screed!

Offline SpaceProg

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Re: God farts on Louisiana in his wrath! (kook alert...LONG)
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2012, 07:50:28 pm »
Wow... seems I missed a hell of a lot back when this Mabus fellow was about.