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Author Topic: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.  (Read 3256 times)

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Offline rtvc2012

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If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« on: January 24, 2012, 12:47:18 pm »
What are some headlines we'd have seen?

In the Star Wars universe:
"Terrorists destroy Death Freedom Star"

In 33 A.D.:
"Liberal Jewish socialist executed"

In 1939:
"Germany brings democracy to Poland"

What are some others?  They can be in any work of fiction or any time period.  Let's get creative.
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2012, 01:03:21 pm »
65 million BC: "Meteor alarmists still won't shut up."
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QueenofHearts

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2012, 01:18:17 pm »
Emperor Palpatine: Not that bad a guy. Really!
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2012, 01:26:43 pm »
Cant you just use this thread to make up fantastic headlines from Fox?
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2012, 01:27:05 pm »
Fox News is the real world equivalent of The Imperial HoloNet News from Star Wars, that being said , one would probably see commericials stating "Emperor Palpatine: The Galaxy's Savoir" in every break. And in depth interviews with Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin...
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 01:28:53 pm by nickiknack »
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Offline rtvc2012

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2012, 02:06:31 pm »
"Empire launches preemptive strike on Alderran"
"Voldemort launches preemptive strike on Hogwarts, killed by Undesirable #1"
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Offline Askold

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2012, 03:20:54 pm »



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Offline Eniliad

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2012, 03:52:32 pm »
LMFAO
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Offline DasFuchs

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2012, 05:08:55 pm »
"Liberal Hippie Crucified"

Allegations allege that this was our savior, the Christ, But we at Fox news do not agree. Christ is not a hippie, and brandishes multiple firearms
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2012, 05:21:57 pm »
Quote from: QueenofHearts on January 24, 2012, 01:18:17 pm
Emperor Palpatine: Not that bad a guy. Really!
It's true, Palpatine is just a frail, sweet old man who likes to knit socks in his spare time. Those rumors about him being a Dark Lord of the Sith are nothing more than lies, ROTTEN LIES!!!
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2012, 05:42:24 pm »
Quote from: B-Man on January 24, 2012, 01:26:43 pm
Cant you just use this thread to make up fantastic headlines from Fox?
^
|

I guess not, eh?  I suppose this could have images and exclusively apply to fictional realities.  I'm still not quite convinced that it needs it's own thread.
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Offline Jack Bauer

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2012, 04:45:20 am »
"...and in breaking news, local Tattooine gazillionaire entrepreneur and lifeform collector, Jabba the Hutt, has been brutally strangled by an ungrateful slavegirl.

"Jabba, 359, had been hosting a 'feed the Sarlacc' party on his pleasure barge when fighting broke out between some of the food..."
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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2012, 05:07:30 am »
Star Trek

"Liberals whine about the treatment of tribbles who really aren't something to get upset over REALLY. They're just animals."
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Offline Hades

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2012, 06:35:38 am »
Anchor: Breaking news: Human and Elven terrorists launch a brutal attack upon Mordor. Moments ago, Lord Sauron issued this statement to the Orc and Uruk-Hai citizens of Mordor,

Lord Sauron: These evil acts, perpetrated by evil creatures, will not go unpunished. Our retaliation will be swift, and fierce. We will do everything in our power to defend the freedom Mordor so enjoys. The freedom that these creatures wish to extinguish from Middle Earth.

Anchor: Fox News analyst Orc McOrcsmash joins us in studio now to break down situation. Mr. McOrcsmash, what is this all about?

Orc McOrcsmash: Me firmly believe dat humon and elf hate da Mordor way of life. All Sauron want iz to unite all peoplez to share in da prosperity of Mordor, but humon and elf no want dat. Humon and elf want to keep freedom away from deir peoplez becuz dey are evil.

Anchor: Thank you, Mr. McOrcsmash. Unbelievable. We go now, via sattelite, to human sympathizer, Urg Bonesnack. Urg, why do you hate Mordor?

Urg Bonesnack: What? Me no hate Mordor. Me just think humon are retaliating against da violence Sauron has brought against dem for age... (mic cuts)

Anchor: Hm, it seems we've lost communication with Mr. Bonesnack. Stay tuned to Fox News as we bring you continuous coverage of this dark day in Mordor.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2012, 06:37:37 am by Hades »
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Offline rageaholic

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Re: If Fox News existed throughout history/in the Star Wars universe/etc.
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2012, 09:25:45 am »
1800s

New Candidate Threatens Rights of Slave Owners. 
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