*Rise from your grave!*
This is a long one, guys, so brace yourselves.
You know what I hate in fics? When people become incapable of saying 'no'. And I don't mean 'they're stupid and horrible for having sex'. I'm talking about the common, stupid cliche in fics where, when a person becomes even
slightly attracted to another person, they suddenly have all rational thought and control sucked out of them and become physically incapable of saying "no" and standing up to that person,
even if they outright say (or think to themselves) that they don't want to be involved with the other person. They become slaves to their crotches without any or very little resistance. Yeah, I know the urge for sex can become overpowering (which leads to a lot of 'oopsies' in real life), but I'd think that usually happens after some serious making out or heavy petting, not the
instant you become even
slightly aroused. Seriously, you can be aroused to a point and still have your wits about you; yeah, it's strong, but so is "they're attractive but I really don't want to do this right now". This is especially grating for me when it comes to "strong, empowered female characters", and
especially if it's from a universe where I know woman can
easily rebuff the advances. But nope, it's always "oh noes, my loins are awake, can't say 'no' no matter how much I really,
really want to! Must fuck and then regret it later because I know I don't really want this and I have no willpower to say so because the hottness. Drama!"
I'm all for sexual freedom and empowerment, but this isn't it; this is being a weak-willed idiot.
Rant for a Skyrim fic below:
Seriously, you're the fucking DRAGONBORN! Why are you suddenly this stuttering, simpering, weak-willed idiot who can't resist this fucking manipulative prick? He wouldn't even be High King without your direct intervention, so why are you being this kowtowing, submissive servant who refuses to stand up to him and does exactly what he wants? You say you don't want him touching you, so don't let him touch you. You know he's an asshole who's playing around with you and disrespecting you, and yet, oh no, you're confused because you find him physically attractive and he has some 'pet the dog' moments so of course that means you have to drop your fucking standards (if you ever had any) and not put up any sort of fight, doesn't it? And this happens even after she highly suspects that he's having another one of her love interests beaten.
Oh, that's right, she's already involved with two other guys who physically beat the shit out of each other over her. She can't decide who she wants to be with, which normally would be fine, but then sleeps with both of them, even though she knows how violent it's making them towards each other. Yeah, you want them to stop fighting over you like you're a prize, and promise another friend that you'll find a way to solve this, but why let little things like that stop you from potentially making things worse by continuing to sleep with them when you still haven't made a decision?
And fuck off with the "I can take care of myself" line you're toting. You obviously can't, considering it was only the intervention of one of your suitors that made Ulfric back off, because you refused to make him yourself. And then you get pissed off at him for interfering, telling him you didn't need it. You're housecarl fucking warned you that this exact thing would happen, that Ulfric was trying to get with you and that he would try to manipulate and charm you into doing something you might not want, and you fed her the same bullshit line about "I'm strong and can take care myself". And then what happened? "Oh no, don't want this, but I'm suddenly weak, no . . . self . . . control". Of course, all this was pointless, because looking at the fic description, it looks as though you end up fucking Ulfric anyway, so now you have three guys fighting over you (I haven't read the entire thing; I had to stop due to constant raging).
And you know what, I would have absolutely no problem with any of this (accept the 'can't offend Ulfric in any way' kowtowing, because fuck that), if this dragonborn was written to be this kind of character; a character that went "you know, I like sex, and I'll sleep with whomever I find attractive, so sorry guys, but I'm not looking for anything serious, so stop the fucking fighting because I'm not going to marry either of you, and if you do want something more, then I'm sorry but I'm going to have to break it off so as not to jerk you around and give you the wrong idea". Or perhaps a character that does knowingly lead these men around, because she's a manipulative person who twists people to suit her own goals. But she's not written as either of those; she's written as some poor, helpless, confused women who doesn't know what she wants and I guess we're supposed to be sympathetic to her even though she's making her own situation worse by making dumbass decisions because, again, she has no willpower despite being a "strong female character that can take care of herself".
And even if you were to argue "well, maybe she really does want to sleep with all of them", it still doesn't paint her in a good light, because that means she's leading these men around knowing how possessive and jealous they are, all the while being portrayed as genuinely sympathetic and being caught in the middle of these men even though she's the one who's helping to facilitate all of this by doing jack shit about it even though she's supposed to be solving the problem.
Again, it's not right to shame someone for having sex simply because they like to have sex. However, I see sex as any other activity; it needs some self-imposed limitations and control, and should be called out when it's done in dumb ways and bad situations. I also think it shouldn't be seen as something that automatically sucks all willpower out of you the second you get those funny feelings, like some fic writers seem to think happens. I don't see being made completely incapable and incompetent by the slightest bit of arousal as empowering or positive.