Community > Creative Outlets

The King of England's blessing


Not Jacob Harrison:
As you can tell by my username, I'm quite literally Not Jacob Harrison, so don't accuse me of secretly being him.

With that out of the way, I have a story to tell.


"Remember when we all thought you were secretly a man?" Jacob asked Lana. "Turns out, it was just really thick down there."

"Yep", Lana answered with a laugh. "And I'm glad I'm no longer evil. Turns out I just needed treatment for my multiple personality disorder."

"Those were some stressful therapy sessions."

"We should also be glad you finally decided what religion you were. What was it again?"

"...If I told you I forgot, how would you react?"

Lana burst out laughing. Jacob didn't.

"So what do you want to do now? Finally finish that 57-hour Skyrim stream?"

"No. First we need the King's blessing to get married."


"Well, not strictly need it, but it's traditional."

"Oh right. Good thing you decided not to have yourself castrated after all."

"That's because I learned loving denim was normal."

The young couple approached their destination, where the King of England was talking with President Barron Trump.

"Jesus, he's even bigger in person", Lana said.

"No blasphemy", Jacob playfully scolded.

"Come on, Jake, you know I'm not like that".

As the newest rightful King exited, he turned to them. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Well, we'd like something?"

"What is it? Do you want me to go to yet another parallel universe with you, like that time we wiped out the Nazis in Equestria?"

"No, we want you to give your blessing for us to get married."

"Of course. It's the least I could do after you proved I was the really real for reals rightful king of England. And how you proved that Spanish guy was the Antichrist."

The two embraced, Lana softly caressing Jacob's neck with her cheek.

"I'll wear my special jeans tonight", she whispered in his year, provoking a pig-like grunt of anticipation.


Well, what do you think?

Oh, and niam? If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from my cous- I mean Jacob's cousin.

That's actually superb


[0] Message Index

Go to full version