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This will strain the reader's credulity, but I'm not listening to music now. Or to anything that purported to be music anytime in the past 50 years. Caterwauling and extremely loud noise does not constitute music.
So he's not a Baptist, he's a Sith Lord?
The logical response to getting that tingle in his dingle is turning into an asshat, of course.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.