Got a new one in pub ad:
"It's a mortal sin.
ORGASMS ARE MEANT TO BE SHARED!!!
Masturbation leads to teaching yourself to isolate your orgasmic experience like orgasms are bad; leading you to subconsciously believe that you're unworthy of being loved."
It's off yahoo answers, so it just has to be... right?
I hate to say it, but the logic almost ffollows.