Video Game Thread 2.0

[Witchyjoshy]

Wow, Nerdcubed never even touched the fact that the game makes you promise to give it a 5 star rating.

I guess he hated it so much he didn't even want to rate it O_o

Seriously though, Dungeon Keeper on mobile... whoever decided that it would be like that has a huge ego.  Either that, or it's meant to be some estoric satire of "free" to play games (I refuse to call that abomination F2P when it's unplayable without spending money) but even then, that's still ridiculous.

[Askold]

Peter Molyneux complained about the mobile port in an interview:

Peter Molyneux, who designed the original 1997 Dungeon Keeper game, said he too was shocked when he saw the time it would take to dig out some sections of the map.

"I felt myself turning round saying, 'What? This is ridiculous. I just want to make a dungeon. I don't want to schedule it on my alarm clock for six days to come back for a block to be chipped,'" he told the BBC.

Mr Molyneux said some of the criticism came from fans of the original who simply wanted an updated version of the game they fondly remembered.

He added: "I don't think they got it quite right, the balance between keeping it familiar to the fans that were out there but fresh enough and understandable enough for this much bigger mobile audience."

That game had potential but they ruined it with this dickery with the payments AND the whole "if you want to give us something other than 5 stars you'll have to jump through extra hoops" deal is just low.

[Art Vandelay]

In all honesty, Dungeon Keeper mobile is nothing new, just yet another blatant skinner box designed only to milk money out of you. If it weren't for the Dungeon Keeper name, it'd be met my the same indifference among core gamers as the likes of The Simpsons: Tapped Out and Clash of Clans.

[kefkaownsall]

In weird news Mario Golf 3ds looks awesome

[Alehksunos]

And this is why I want to develop my first games on the Mobile format, because a majority of the library for the iOS and Android stores are lackluster; ranging from mediocre games, shitty clones of mediocre games, outright shitty games, and Free to Play games that are either games that would be decent without it or of respected properties (Dungeon Keeper and Plants vs. Zombies) that have been shit on. The system is criminally unregulated and games appealing to 'core' games are a treasured rarity.

[Art Vandelay]

And this is why I want to develop my first games on the Mobile format, because a majority of the library for the iOS and Android stores are lackluster; ranging from mediocre games, shitty clones of mediocre games, outright shitty games, and Free to Play games that are either games that would be decent without it or of respected properties (Dungeon Keeper and Plants vs. Zombies) that have been shit on. The system is criminally unregulated and games appealing to 'core' games are a treasured rarity.

You may want to be careful about that. There's a reason why terrible cow clickers and mediocre dreck like Angry Birds and Flappy Bird strike it big while actual good games are not only few and far between, but also nowhere near as successful as all the shit. It's not only the wild west of gaming, it's also a completely different market to the PC and consoles, where the core gamers that rule PC and consoles are now a rather slim minority. If you intend to develop core games, mobile is probably not the platform that will give you the best chance of success.

[Cerim Treascair]

... I just unlocked Garuda in FF14 tonight for the main story quest.

... This is gonna be WORLDS of hurt, I just know it.

[RavynousHunter]

And this is why I want to develop my first games on the Mobile format, because a majority of the library for the iOS and Android stores are lackluster; ranging from mediocre games, shitty clones of mediocre games, outright shitty games, and Free to Play games that are either games that would be decent without it or of respected properties (Dungeon Keeper and Plants vs. Zombies) that have been shit on. The system is criminally unregulated and games appealing to 'core' games are a treasured rarity.

You may want to be careful about that. There's a reason why terrible cow clickers and mediocre dreck like Angry Birds and Flappy Bird strike it big while actual good games are not only few and far between, but also nowhere near as successful as all the shit. It's not only the wild west of gaming, it's also a completely different market to the PC and consoles, where the core gamers that rule PC and consoles are now a rather slim minority. If you intend to develop core games, mobile is probably not the platform that will give you the best chance of success.

Yuuuuuuuuup.  Plus, PC and consoles have been around a lot longer and have a lot more firmly-established development tools and environments like Unity and XNA.  Also, you're not all but locked into one language, such as Java for Android or Objective-C for iOS. Granted, most engines and dev environments are built around specific languages or frameworks (XNA is built for .Net and its constituent languages like C# and C++/CLI), but you're on a much more flexible platform with a decent control mechanism (game pad or keyboard+mouse).

All in all, developing for PC and console, especially PC, is a much more solid choice than for mobile devices, no matter how powerful said devices might be.  There's only so much a touch screen can do, after all.

[Art Vandelay]

That too. I can't really comment on the programming related issues, but I can agree that a touchscreen and its lack of any kind of tactile feedback makes it an absolutely terrible control scheme for almost any core genre. Anything turn based could probably be functional, if a tad clunkier than a mouse and keyboard or gamepad, but anything else will be horribly broken.

In other news, I kind of want to give Planescape: Torment another shot. The writing in that game is absolutely fantastic, but somehow I've never managed to get through it. I think last time I tried, I got frustrated at the arbitrary six (I think it was) party member limit, because once I had the last couple of characters join my party, there's a chance I could miss out on parts of their story should I not have the right character in my party when I enter an area or talk to an NPC that would otherwise trigger it. I was hoping there'd be a mod to fix that, but no, the party limit is hard coded into the game. As a completionist, I find this very distressing. Triggering, even.

[Dakota Bob]

Been replaying through the HeXen games, they are metal as fuck. just spent the entire first level of the first title punching monsters to death with my fists.

[Ghoti]

The switch from Vangaurd to Infiltrator is a tough one, but I adore the sniper rifle. Although if the Praetorians on Horizon and the Collector Base can see through my cloak, I'm magnificently buttfucked.

[Vypernight]

The switch from Vangaurd to Infiltrator is a tough one, but I adore the sniper rifle. Although if the Praetorians on Horizon and the Collector Base can see through my cloak, I'm magnificently buttfucked.

I'm pretty sure they can't.  Which sniper are you using?  If it's a semi-auto, then arm it with Incindiary ammo, cloak, and let loose with several shots, then back away and recloak.  Keep circling no matter where you are. 

[Alehksunos]

http://dragondicks.tumblr.com/post/76589265916/warning-me-ranting-about-metroid-more-samus

(Don't let her URL scare you, she's a cool person)

Samus frustrates me so much because she’s a really cool character but they do the most dumb bullshit with her. Oh, a female character who wears armour and does a lot of sprinting, climbing, fighting, etc? What a surprise, underneath the armour she’s a slim anime woman with big tits. I guess giving her any sort of defined muscles would be too threatening.

Zero Suit Samus’ design is just so lame and Male Gamer Wankfuel and it’s really disappointing. Like they literally couldn’t have put less thought into it. Wears a helmet all the time? Give her lots and lots of flowing hair right down to her ankles. Does lots of physical activity? No, muscles are for men, draw her slim and give her big tits. Yeah, good. This is a very marketable design.

This is just me ranting now but w/e people try to tell me “Samus was just a blank slate before Other M!!” and im like uh, no she wasn’t?? Yeah she was mostly silent (except for some speaking in Fusion) but the fact that she was silent doesn’t negate that she took on challenges and got shit done. Just because she didn’t end every boss battle with a witty one-liner doesn’t mean it’s completely fine to rewrite her as this weird, mopey woman who thinks about a man 24/7 and has all the major challenges in the story performed for her by men.

Did you know she doesn’t even kill the metroids in Other M? Adam does it for her. While she weakly wobbles over to him shrieking ADAM NOO. What a fuckin’ hero. She doesn’t defeat Ridley either. Can you imagine if male characters got this shit? If we got a Metal Gear game about how Snake needs to be considered more “human” so they dedicate a game’s worth of story making him shriek emotionally while all the other characters kill the enemies for him. Why is it that only female heroes need to be written into stories where they get all emotional for dumb reasons? Why can’t they just be cool heroes? Preferably ones that don’t look like they were designed by a teenage boy with a half chub

For the record, this is what Samus Aran was meant to look like, courtesy of the Super Metroid manual:



This Samus is way cooler and I for now on refuse to accept "that other Zero-suit Samus" as canon.

[kefkaownsall]

I dunno why she lost so much weight inbetween brawl and Other M

[Alehksunos]

My only guess is that a bunch of horny artists got employed by Nintendo and starting with Metroid Fusion or Zero Mission (an expanded remake of the original Metroid) they decided to take the original alternative ending too far - which revealed Samus is a woman.

Before that, Namco published a game Baraduke, which also had a person in a suit who was a woman and the ending revealed it, but the name "Kissy" gave it away. Of course, Namco loved her so much they gave her a real name "Masuyo Tobi" (literally "I can fly") and made her the ex-wife of Taizo "Dig-dug" Hori and mother of Susumu Hori in the Mr. Driller series. So yeah, Masuyo "Kissy" Tobi predated Samus Aran in the whole "person in masculine suit is actually a woman" set-up in video games.

Thankfully, there is none of the same shit seen with Masuyo Tobi as Samus Aran since the Mr. Driller series has a light tone instead of the serious tone in Metroid, and not very many people have even heard of her since most of the Mr. Driller series are Japan-exclusive and Baraduke is far less known.