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I am know by many names Pan, Diablo, Lucifer but you may call me simply tree spirit. (This is from a book I am working on word for word.)
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?