Weirdest/Most Esoteric Conspiracy Theories

[Witchyjoshy]

I've only read the first two books, sadly.  I need to get the rest.

[Osama bin Bambi]

According to one guy, I am apparently "of Nephilim blood".

I actually told him that that's really freaking cool. He seemed confused why I thought being descended from giant half-angels was cool.

Even if its fake, its always fun when the conspiracy theorists claim you're some sort of creature.

I don't know what that means, but I once had someone tell me I was an "owl person" or had "owl energies" or whatnot.

[Witchyjoshy]

It sounds like they were trying to say that you were a night person.

Only with woojoo added in.

[Osama bin Bambi]

It sounds like they were trying to say that you were a night person.

Only with woojoo added in.

Woman: "Do you have a connection with owls?"

Me: "Well, I enjoy seeing owls."

Woman: "I was just discussing this with my friends. We felt a sense of your strong owl-like energies and spiritual tendencies."

Um... thank you?

[niam2023]

Then there was the guy who evidently played too much Persona 2, and who insisted I and my friend were "higher ups of the New World Order, come to silence me!"

I love that the conspiracy theorists stroke my ego by giving me the cool positions in their fictitious evil organizations...

[Lt. Fred]

I'm setting the bar with New Chronology.

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long while


Personally, anything written by Freud I find amusing.

[Barbarella]

Concerning the Illuminati, hearing from the "righties" about the attributes of that organization, I'd say....I WELCOME OUR NEW ILLUMINATI OVERLORDS!

I'm more convinced that the Illuminati are the "good guys". If there's any horrid NWO plot, it involves zillionare business folks like the Kochs or Murdoch. With those guys around, I actually hope there really is an Illuminati!

[wrightway]

Then there was the guy who evidently played too much Persona 2, and who insisted I and my friend were "higher ups of the New World Order, come to silence me!"

I love that the conspiracy theorists stroke my ego by giving me the cool positions in their fictitious evil organizations...

Try having a birth mark that would have gotten you tossed in a river four centuries ago. It's basically a cross tipped on its side. A Christian told me it means I'm cursed. A pagan called it a "witch's mark" and said it's a blessing. I just think it's ugly.

[MadCatTLX]

* Human-made earthquakes

I've only got this far in the thread right now, so if this has already been said, sorry.

Man made earthquakes aren't that far fetched. The first example being the massive earthquake bombs of WWII, like the tallboy. They didn't have the power of a real earthquake, but they did shake the ground pretty good in a small area.

The second example, which is more recent, is unintentional side-effects. Anyone remembers the big story of the notably strong earthquakes in Oklahoma a couple years back? The think is, Oklahoma almost never has an earthquake that can be felt in the slightest, much less one the could shake a picture off the wall. It was freaky as hell for all of us here, as most around here have never felt an earthquake. The days after people were wondering what could of caused suck an unusual event. Some experts apparently thought it might be linked to the fact that oil drilling is a big thing in Oklahoma. How big? There is a working oil pump on the front lawn of the state capital building. Someone proposed that the extraction of oil might have destabilized the ground or something, and some said it might be fracking in particular. I'm not a geologist, so I can't speak to just how much truth there might be in these ideas, but it's not at all unbelievable.

[chitoryu12]

Man made earthquakes aren't that far fetched. The first example being the massive earthquake bombs of WWII, like the tallboy. They didn't have the power of a real earthquake, but they did shake the ground pretty good in a small area.

Of course, you may not have much trouble locating the source.

[Sixth Monarchist]

It sounds like they were trying to say that you were a night person.

Only with woojoo added in.

Woman: "Do you have a connection with owls?"

Me: "Well, I enjoy seeing owls."

Woman: "I was just discussing this with my friends. We felt a sense of your strong owl-like energies and spiritual tendencies."

Um... thank you?

They've read too much Batman.

[Her3tiK]

I love the people who think Aurora, Sandy Hook, Boston, etc. were premeditated attacks to restrict our (gun) rights, but were executed by someone incompetent enough to hire the same "actors" to play the "victims" in each event. Of course, these are the same people who trusted the expert analysis of 4chan to ID the Boston Bombers, so yeah...

Can someone explain why these people always seem to be libertarian?

[DiscoBerry]

This is the only conspiracy theory I buy into:

The putative switch was planned all along to cover the change from sugar-sweetened Coke to much less expensive high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), a theory that was supposedly given credence by the apparently different taste of Coke Classic when it first hit the market (the U.S. sugar trade association took out a full-page ad lambasting Coke for using HFCS in all bottling of the old formula when it was reintroduced[41]).

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Coke#Conspiracy_theories

[Alehksunos]

I love the people who think Aurora, Sandy Hook, Boston, etc. were premeditated attacks to restrict our (gun) rights, but were executed by someone incompetent enough to hire the same "actors" to play the "victims" in each event. Of course, these are the same people who trusted the expert analysis of 4chan to ID the Boston Bombers, so yeah...

Can someone explain why these people always seem to be libertarian?

Do I need not to mention how much I hate these people?

[Barbarella]

* Human-made earthquakes

I've only got this far in the thread right now, so if this has already been said, sorry.

Man made earthquakes aren't that far fetched. The first example being the massive earthquake bombs of WWII, like the tallboy. They didn't have the power of a real earthquake, but they did shake the ground pretty good in a small area.

The second example, which is more recent, is unintentional side-effects. Anyone remembers the big story of the notably strong earthquakes in Oklahoma a couple years back? The think is, Oklahoma almost never has an earthquake that can be felt in the slightest, much less one the could shake a picture off the wall. It was freaky as hell for all of us here, as most around here have never felt an earthquake. The days after people were wondering what could of caused suck an unusual event. Some experts apparently thought it might be linked to the fact that oil drilling is a big thing in Oklahoma. How big? There is a working oil pump on the front lawn of the state capital building. Someone proposed that the extraction of oil might have destabilized the ground or something, and some said it might be fracking in particular. I'm not a geologist, so I can't speak to just how much truth there might be in these ideas, but it's not at all unbelievable.

I said, before that I realized that it's not as far-fetched as I thought. I'll remove part of my original post concerning earthquakes.

I love the people who think Aurora, Sandy Hook, Boston, etc. were premeditated attacks to restrict our (gun) rights, but were executed by someone incompetent enough to hire the same "actors" to play the "victims" in each event. Of course, these are the same people who trusted the expert analysis of 4chan to ID the Boston Bombers, so yeah...

Can someone explain why these people always seem to be libertarian?

Do I need not to mention how much I hate these people?

*UGH*! I LOATHE THEM....especially when they stalk, torment & harass the survivors & family of victims! I would just look upon them with bemusement if they kept it to themselves but when they push it in folks faces & harass survivors, I want to eviscerate them!