Wacky News Thread

[niam2023]

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/cops-man-killed-stepfather-with-atomic-wedgie/

So a 33 year old man kills his stepfather with the most lethal of all school yard bullying techniques - the dreaded atomic wedgie. Known for inducing stifling pain in both the groin and the head, it was the preferred weapon of jerk jocks and bullies for years.

And now, it has been used to murder.

Try to imagine that, Americans, strangling to death due to your own underwear. Yet, that is what we submit to our children when we ignore bullying.

How long? How long will we go without Underwear Regulation? To start, we should institute reform that says underwear shall remain upon a person's bottom. Putting it on your head is just assing for trouble.

/ColbertVoice/

[Askold]

There was a news story in Finland about the rising amount of complaints that people who live in rental apartments have against the landlords. There were several examples from an organisation that fights for the rights of people who live in rental apartments, since they help people who are being mistreated by landlords.

Mostly stuff like, the rent being raised unreasonably high without a warning and other shady contracts, but there was one particular case that stood out. There was a family that said that their landlord demanded to be allowed to put a camera into their shower so that he/she could "watch to make sure that children don't go into the shower alone."

...Yea, I think that report was sent to the police as well.

[Canadian Mojo]

"watch to make sure that children don't go into the shower alone."

I take it that is a dangerous problem that you have laws against in Finland.

Fucking socialists. 

[niam2023]

http://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/justin-bieber-busted-for-dui--drag-racing-in-lamborghini-125550058.html

And Justin's finally gone over the line, and become an actual criminal. How time changed him from a soft speaking kid with a goofy hairdo to a guy wearing an Elvis Wannabe Haircut busted for drugs, DUI and drag racing.

And he has apparently developed an incredibly potty mouth for someone known for their lovely little songs. Might this result in long term consequences for him, for this latest outburst of misbehaviour? I mean, his manager is probably having a heart attack at the news.

He took remarkably little time to go foul. Usually these child stars last into their twenties, but I suppose with America's deification of the rich and successful, it was only a matter of time before he decided he was infallible.

With predictable results.

Hopefully this will shut up his annoying fans. That, or drive them bug fuck insane. Because either will amuse me at this point.

[Ghoti]

And it gets better, if you're the kind of person who cares about internet drama: Jared Padalecki, one of the stars of Supernatural, sent a tweet asking Biebs how much he paid his friend to take the fall for him when they got caught with molly. Bielibers are calling or a boycott of the show, which the fandom parts of teh interwebz see as a declaration of war. Dis gon b gooood.

[ironbite]

Coke.  It was coke they found.  And oh yeah, Supernatural enjoyed the highest ratings all season long.

Ironbite-the Biebliervers aren't that strong.

[Ultimate Paragon]

Main, fuck Bieber.  I used to defend him against the haters, because even though I didn't like his music, he seemed like a nice guy.  Now, however...

[Ghoti]

Coke.  It was coke they found.  And oh yeah, Supernatural enjoyed the highest ratings all season long.

Ironbite-the Biebliervers aren't that strong.

Especially since the Sherlockians, Whovians, Potterheads, Homestucks, Teen Wolves, otaku, etc etc etc all watched the ep as a show of solidarity. Briber forgot rule no. 1: don't fuck with Aria the internet is serious fucking business.

[mellenORL]

Florida law on the shit he just did is serious business. Long mandatory minimums if he is convicted. IIRC, There is no such thing as a misdemeanor amount of cocaine to possess here. Class 3 felony convictions are up to 5 years max, DUI is a big deal here. Illegal street racing is a big deal here. Being a non-resident when doing stupid shit here gets you zeroed-in on. There is an awful lot to "buy" his way out of here, and a lot of "fuck celebutards" attitude amongst the general public, here, too. So, politics involved. Miami Beach township is incorporated into the mega Miami-Dade County government, and I don't think Biebs can pay enough people to suck enough dick to get off easily, this time.

[Ghoti]

Oh, oh, he's gonna check himself into Rich People Rehab and whinge about "the Man" keeping him down. Then, when he gets out, he's gonna go right back to doping stupid shit for attention. I'd call this the Bieber Cycle, but Lohan Cycle or even Spears Cycle would be more appropriate.

[ironbite]

Cept you forget one little factoid that Bieb has going against him.

He's not an American citizen.

Ironbite-he can be deported.

[Ultimate Paragon]

I think this might be part of Canada's belated revenge.  We invade them during the Revolution, they respond by exposing us to all their worst musicians.

[niam2023]

Even though he got out on Bail, that doesn't mean he's free from any repercussions, does it?

[Cerim Treascair]

As they say on Fark, if he screws up while on bail, celeb or not, he'll wind up in PMITA prison.

[Barbarella]

http://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/justin-bieber-busted-for-dui--drag-racing-in-lamborghini-125550058.html

And Justin's finally gone over the line, and become an actual criminal. How time changed him from a soft speaking kid with a goofy hairdo to a guy wearing an Elvis Wannabe Haircut busted for drugs, DUI and drag racing.

And he has apparently developed an incredibly potty mouth for someone known for their lovely little songs. Might this result in long term consequences for him, for this latest outburst of misbehaviour? I mean, his manager is probably having a heart attack at the news.

He took remarkably little time to go foul. Usually these child stars last into their twenties, but I suppose with America's deification of the rich and successful, it was only a matter of time before he decided he was infallible.

With predictable results.

Hopefully this will shut up his annoying fans. That, or drive them bug fuck insane. Because either will amuse me at this point.

Why can't he be like that cute, soft-spoke mop-top boy? Well, he's gone bonkers and took the Last Crazy Train To Doucheville. Hopefully some time in the slammer might cool this dork's jets.