Vending Machine

[Random Gal]

You get A Severed Head.

I insert a gun that fires exploding chickens.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get the ultimate airplane testing tool.

I insert the Mythbusters.

[Valerius]

You get lots of things blowing up.

I insert the scythe I found in my late grandma's garage.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get Death.

I insert Neil Gaiman's hot goth girl version of Death.

[Valerius]

You get an epidemic of men dropping dead from heart attacks after sporting raging boners.

I insert one such casualty.

[PosthumanHeresy]

You get a rape zombie.

I insert the rape zombie.

[Valerius]

You get a little girl laughing at what a shitty rapist the zombie is as she easily rips his decomposing dick off and continues on her merry way.

I insert a bowl of oatmeal and a disembowelled sheep's organs.

[Lady Evil]

You get haggis.

I insert Rob Leifeld

[Leafy]

You get Wolverine.

I insert a grapefruit.

[PosthumanHeresy]

You get a grape, and a pile of other fruits.

I insert a pineapple.

[Leafy]

You get a bush.

I insert a poptart.

[PosthumanHeresy]

You get a deep-fried poptart.

I insert a shotgun.

[R. U. Sirius]

You get the front passenger seat of a car.

I insert a faulty time machine and a contraceptive.

[PosthumanHeresy]

You sterilize all of humanity in the past, present and future, leading to the universe falling apart due to the paradox.

I insert the semen of Till Lindemann and an egg from Otep Shamaya.

[Leafy]

You get a crying baby.

I insert Puff the Magic Dragon.