« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 76 77 [78] 79 80 ... 184   Go Down

Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 396555 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1155 on: December 04, 2012, 11:01:05 pm »
Granted. Your trip to the UK is completely ruined as a result.

I wish I was a billionaire.
Logged

Offline Julian

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 275
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1156 on: December 05, 2012, 03:25:20 am »
Granted. You get to choose between being Rupert Murdoch or Donald Trump. Your current trophy wife resents you and beats you to a pulp every night.

I wish the new you would hurry up and drop dead!
Logged

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1157 on: December 05, 2012, 06:54:28 am »
Granted, I drop dead sometime in the next 60-70 odd years. That's quite a short time considering all that top-notch medical care I was able to afford (not to mention a good hitman and a replacement trophy wife who behaves herself).

I wish for some delicious cheeseburgers.
Logged

Offline R. U. Sirius

  • He Who Must Be Smooched By Cute FSTDT Forumgirls
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Male
  • Just look at me. Who could distrust this face?
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1158 on: December 05, 2012, 10:21:28 am »
Granted. They're devoured by cats before you can get a single bite.

I wish for a robot duplicate I could make do all the things I didn't want to do.
Logged
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Veras

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1097
  • Gender: Male
  • I aim to misbehave
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1159 on: December 05, 2012, 11:34:10 am »
Granted.  Unfortunately, it is not bound by Asimov's Three Laws.  It develops the ability to think for itself, then blackmails you into switching places with it.  Now you have to do all of the things that it doesn't want to do.

I wish I could have a vacation.
Logged
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

"I'm not frightened about death. I don't know why, but I just feel that at a certain moment your switch is switched off, and that's it. And you can't do anything about it."

Offline rookie

  • Miscreant, petty criminal, and all around nice guy
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2200
  • Gender: Male
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1160 on: December 05, 2012, 11:45:49 am »
Granted! Pack your bags for a wonderful all expenses paid trip for you and your family to beautiful sunny downtown Riyadh! As a bonus whenever you leave the hotel, Sarah Silverman will follow you around, addressing you by name, and doing her act in front of the Morality Police. Send postcards!

I wish there was something good on tv right now.
Logged
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.

Offline Veras

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1097
  • Gender: Male
  • I aim to misbehave
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1161 on: December 05, 2012, 01:29:25 pm »
Granted, but your power goes out as soon as it starts.

I wish I had an actual office instead of a desk in the corner of the library, which is also a classroom.
Logged
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

"I'm not frightened about death. I don't know why, but I just feel that at a certain moment your switch is switched off, and that's it. And you can't do anything about it."

Saturn500

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1162 on: December 05, 2012, 05:50:07 pm »
Granted. The previous owner, who is retired, stands nude next to the exit a lot, reading a book. He thinks he's invisible.

I wish for a 512 MB SD card.
Logged

Offline Julian

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 275
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1163 on: December 06, 2012, 07:38:24 am »
Granted, but it's lodged in a gallstone you have to pass.

(Wish for micro SD next time) [or nano]

I wish meanderthals would stop pushing in front of me then stopping dead the second they're on the metro and everyone else is still outside.
Logged

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1164 on: December 06, 2012, 09:03:24 am »
Granted, Homo Sapiens do it instead.

I wish for giant flying fire-breathing walrus that does my bidding.
Logged

Offline Julian

  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 275
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1165 on: December 06, 2012, 09:13:39 am »
Granted, but in return you have to scrub the hides of it's entire extended huddle every day with a toothbrush.

I wish anyone buying rhino horn had to have it administered anally.


Logged

Offline Flying Mint Bunny!

  • Zoot be praised and to His Chosen victory
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 873
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1166 on: December 06, 2012, 10:57:37 am »
Granted, but those people bought rhino horn because they have a subconscious desire to be anally penetrated with one, so they enjoy it and want to buy even more.

I wish my headphones would never get tangled up again.
Logged

Saturn500

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1167 on: December 06, 2012, 05:22:47 pm »
Granted, they're now wireless! Too bad a new model comes out every other Tuesday...

I wish for a giant robotic pet hamster.
Logged

Offline Auggziliary

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1185
  • Gender: Female
  • Queen of the birdies
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1168 on: December 06, 2012, 08:31:29 pm »
Granted, but it runs out of batteries all the time.

I wish for some asian food.
Logged
BITCHES! YOU BITCHES! Killing me won't bring back your God damn honey!

Saturn500

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1169 on: December 06, 2012, 09:12:25 pm »
Granted. Too bad it's poisoned.

I wish the YouTube layout didn't change for the millionth time today.
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 76 77 [78] 79 80 ... 184   Go Up
« previous next »