Funny that the alternatives they offer all stuff like patronus and other fictional concepts. I also loved that one reply Wheaton got where the person explains just how stupid this backlash against Wheatons use of "spirit animal" is and how the complainers had completely disregarded all european shamanistic tradition (so they basically were quilty of the crime they accused Wheaton of.)
Also I am reminded of one thing: Patron saints. You find all kinds of crazy-awesome people amongst them. Even though I'm not catholic I'm tempted to go pick a patron saint for myself. BUT I GUESS ONLY WHITE PEPPLE CAN USE THAT TERM!!!!2 I mean it's not like there would be any non-white catholics or orthodox people. Check your privileges PoC.
I recommend St Moses the Black. I mean just look at this badass motherfucker:
Spoilered for size
Cool. If I were to pick a Saint it would probably be someone like Ferdinand since he is the protector of engineers. Or if were looking for saints with cool names you can't go wrong with Saint Homobonus, the patron Saint of businessmen and clothworkers.
(HIS NAME IS LATING FOR GOOD MAN. HOMO = MAN, BONUS = GOOD. SO STOP GIGGLING.)
And now that I actually checked a list of saints I am saddened to see that some are clearly overworked. I mean some saints have just one profession that they watch over (skaters for example) but poor Saint George protects: agricultural workers, archers, armourers, boy scouts, butchers, cavalry, Crusaders, equestrians, farmhands, farmers, field hands, field workers, horsemen, husbandry, husbandmen, knights, riders, Rover Scouts, saddle makers, saddlers, scouts, shepherds, soldiers, Teutonic Knights (policemen and firefighters in Brazil). That is a lot of work for one saint.
Oh, wait... SOME OF THOSE ARE REDUNDANT-Mr Torgue