Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 364576 times)

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Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2685 on: December 03, 2015, 10:00:35 am »
(ain't that just always the way? when you stop checking yourself, you start to make shit...)

Granted. You're not allowed to eat it or give it to someone else, and every day you need to shove a jarful up your ass.

I wish I had infinite money.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2686 on: December 11, 2015, 01:41:42 am »
Granted. You have infinite problems and decide to blow all your money on my chainmail.

I wish to be able to go without sleep indefinitely with no fatigue or other ill effects.
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Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2687 on: December 11, 2015, 08:32:51 am »
Granted. You are ostracized by your jealous friends.

I wish I could see in the dark.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2688 on: December 11, 2015, 08:43:19 am »
Granted, but you can no longer see in the light.

I wish for an uncorruptible wish.

Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2689 on: December 11, 2015, 08:48:02 am »
(@art: you nailed the problem with night-vision... it's always one or the other)

granted: your wish is made of the purest diamond. (pun between corrodable, and corruptible)

i wish i made a better pun.
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Offline TheContrarian

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2690 on: December 19, 2015, 09:08:44 am »
(@art: you nailed the problem with night-vision... it's always one or the other)

granted: your wish is made of the purest diamond. (pun between corrodable, and corruptible)

i wish i made a better pun.

You make the world's greatest pun.  Except that a cyber-mob on twitter mistake it for a racial slur and bombard you, your family and employer with death threats and rape accusations and eventually kill your dog.

I wish I owned my own island.


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Offline davedan

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2691 on: December 19, 2015, 09:14:22 am »
(@art: you nailed the problem with night-vision... it's always one or the other)

granted: your wish is made of the purest diamond. (pun between corrodable, and corruptible)

i wish i made a better pun.

You make the world's greatest pun.  Except that a cyber-mob on twitter mistake it for a racial slur and bombard you, your family and employer with death threats and rape accusations and eventually kill your dog.

I wish I owned my own island.

You do unfortunately it is England.

I wish I wasn't so good looking.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2692 on: December 20, 2015, 09:54:52 am »
Granted: you were never that good-looking in the first place. (Ain't I a stinker?)

I wish I had someplace comfortable and affordable to move into.
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2693 on: January 02, 2016, 05:57:02 pm »
Granted. You get a very nice apartment in downtown Mosul.

I wish I didn't get into so many car accidents.
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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2694 on: January 02, 2016, 07:54:26 pm »
Granted. You start getting into plane accidents instead. Don't ask how.

I wish my house was clean.
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Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2695 on: January 02, 2016, 07:55:30 pm »
Granted. You're evicted from it.

I wish I could stop procrastinating on this thing I'm writing, and that it will turn out good.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2696 on: January 02, 2016, 08:05:03 pm »
Granted, but you start procrastinating on eating and keel over from starvation as soon as your thing is complete. Shame, seeing as it was quite the masterpiece that would've made you richer than J. K. Rowling, had you been alive to see it published.

I wish I would inherit the rights to your amazing and extremely lucrative writing project after you died.

Even Then

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2697 on: January 02, 2016, 08:09:51 pm »
Granted, you now have the rights to a drabble featuring a zombie lizard man internally angsting about his cynical and violent side. Have fun with that.

Yeah. It's that kind of thing.

I wish I could style my hair like this.

Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2698 on: January 03, 2016, 02:40:06 am »
Granted, all the chemicals in the products you needed to use turned your brain into a pile of useless mush. At least you look kawaii at your funeral.

I wish I could be comfortable in any position.
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Offline Cloud3514

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2699 on: January 08, 2016, 06:07:00 am »
Granted, but now you're ONLY comfortable in sexual positions. But, hey, at least youre perfectly confortable in reverse cowgirl.

I wish i knew what my cat was thinking right now.
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