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Community => Entertainment and Television => Topic started by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 09:11:06 pm

Title: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 09:11:06 pm
Exactly what it says in the title. Creepypasta that is nothing more than somebody emptying the anus of bad writing of the shit, to be verbosely vulgar.   

My personal "favorite" crappypasta is the Sonic.Exe series, mostly because of it's author trying to be actually serious about the subject material. Really, a haunted Sonic game possessed by a Eldritch Abomination that just so happens to be obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog is more of a Scream-type thing if you ask me.

Yeah, the sequel adds a lot of shitty and confusing elements. There's a cop "investigating" the murders fueled by some stupid generic cult, his sister gets killed, and there's no closure. It makes the original mediocre story shitter, which is impressive.

Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Igor on September 28, 2014, 09:18:21 pm
HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD YOU GUYS! BLOOD WITH THE BLOODY BLOOD BLOOD! STATIC! SCARY! BLOOD! HYPERREALISTIC!


...sorry.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 09:21:04 pm
HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD YOU GUYS! BLOOD WITH THE BLOODY BLOOD BLOOD! STATIC! SCARY! BLOOD! HYPERREALISTIC!


...sorry.
See, this guy knows what I'm talking about!
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Zygarde on September 28, 2014, 09:28:21 pm
I think the worst I've read was Squidwards Suicide since most of it is shock value in reading graphic depictions of kids getting killed.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 09:32:17 pm
I think the worst I've read was Squidwards Suicide since most of it is shock value in reading graphic depictions of kids getting killed.

Yeah, that's one of the most annoying cliches. Ooh, scary lost episode! Look! SHOCKING BLOODSHED THAT IS TOTALLY OUT OF MOOD WITH THE SHOW! OOGGA BOOGGA !
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 28, 2014, 09:58:34 pm
I think the problem is just that creepypasta in general has gone stale. They were alright fun back in 2009 and earlier when the concept was still relatively fresh. Nowadays, not so much. It's just what happens to everything that has ever gained a modicum of popularity.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Witchyjoshy on September 28, 2014, 10:04:32 pm
I think the problem is just that creepypasta in general has gone stale. They were alright fun back in 2009 and earlier when the concept was still relatively fresh. Nowadays, not so much. It's just what happens to everything that has ever gained a modicum of popularity.

So basically, the only good stuff is underground?
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on September 28, 2014, 10:06:03 pm
I found a really bad one called "My name is Sara".
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 28, 2014, 10:23:23 pm
I think the problem is just that creepypasta in general has gone stale. They were alright fun back in 2009 and earlier when the concept was still relatively fresh. Nowadays, not so much. It's just what happens to everything that has ever gained a modicum of popularity.

So basically, the only good stuff is underground?

How exactly did you glean that from my post?! I'm saying things that are popular don't stay popular forever, because people get bored of it and move on to something new. That's how pretty much all entertainment works, creepypasta included. It had its time in the sun, and now we've all seen enough of it that it's become rather stale and passe.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Witchyjoshy on September 28, 2014, 10:37:55 pm
I think the problem is just that creepypasta in general has gone stale. They were alright fun back in 2009 and earlier when the concept was still relatively fresh. Nowadays, not so much. It's just what happens to everything that has ever gained a modicum of popularity.

So basically, the only good stuff is underground?

How exactly did you glean that from my post?! I'm saying things that are popular don't stay popular forever, because people get bored of it and move on to something new. That's how pretty much all entertainment works, creepypasta included. It had its time in the sun, and now we've all seen enough of it that it's become rather stale and passe.

Perhaps I should have added that ";D" to the post to make it obvious I was being tongue-in-cheek.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 10:38:17 pm
I found a really bad one called "My name is Sara".

Link, please?
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on September 28, 2014, 10:39:48 pm
I found a really bad one called "My name is Sara".

Link, please?

Okay:

http://www.crappypasta.com/my-name-is-sara/ (http://www.crappypasta.com/my-name-is-sara/)
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Art Vandelay on September 28, 2014, 10:41:35 pm
I think the problem is just that creepypasta in general has gone stale. They were alright fun back in 2009 and earlier when the concept was still relatively fresh. Nowadays, not so much. It's just what happens to everything that has ever gained a modicum of popularity.

So basically, the only good stuff is underground?

How exactly did you glean that from my post?! I'm saying things that are popular don't stay popular forever, because people get bored of it and move on to something new. That's how pretty much all entertainment works, creepypasta included. It had its time in the sun, and now we've all seen enough of it that it's become rather stale and passe.

Perhaps I should have added that ";D" to the post to make it obvious I was being tongue-in-cheek.

Ah. Yeah, that may've helped avoid any misunderstandings.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Zygarde on September 28, 2014, 10:51:59 pm
Actually I think one of the worst I've read was Jeff the Killer for just the weird popularity it gained (why I have no idea but then again I say the same thing about Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey)
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 28, 2014, 10:59:00 pm
Actually I think one of the worst I've read was Jeff the Killer for just the weird popularity it gained (why I have no idea but then again I say the same thing about Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey)
Ugh, Jeff clones.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ironchew on September 28, 2014, 11:01:05 pm
Better men than me have made an entire category of these:

http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Pasta_Trying_To_Be_Good_When_It_Sucks_Enough_To_Be_A_Troll (http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Pasta_Trying_To_Be_Good_When_It_Sucks_Enough_To_Be_A_Troll) > 929 total

Have fun.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 29, 2014, 08:37:29 am
OH GOD NO WHY HELP GOD PLEASE WHY NO STOP JUST LET ME GO.

IN NO WAY DO I WANT TO BE OR IS A TROLL PASTA!

Quote
Quote
One day, as I was playing SADX, my character started acting strange. What I found interesting was Sonic started using Amy’s physics, and Amy used Sonic’s.

“sweet” I said

But, Amy turned to the screen, as if to make sure I was watching.


Well, what’d you expect? Some screamer of Amy?


She dropped her hammer, on (what I assume) was an accident.


She bent over, picking it up…


But there was no white under her dress…


But…


What? I could see her… @$$? “sweet!” I yelled.


It looked so… real…


After that (“horrid”) experience, she had her hammer back, but then I couldn’t control her, and she killed all of the people in Station Square, while I sat and said “your…”


After she finished, she took her dress OFF.


While I said “SO SWEET!”


Then she took me into ARDX


I AM NOW LIVING MY LIFE IN THIS EPIC GAME, AMY AND I GOT MARRIED, AND SHE’S ALWAYS NUDE!


Honey, why are you staring at me like tha- OH GOD YE-


HAVE FEAR… AMY ROSE IS HERE!

I just developed Haemolacria.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: I am lizard on September 29, 2014, 10:35:02 am
That made sense!
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on September 29, 2014, 09:45:56 pm
That made sense!

Only to the dark malefic powers that turn the grindstones of time, only to them.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Random Gal on October 02, 2014, 04:42:27 pm
HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD YOU GUYS! BLOOD WITH THE BLOODY BLOOD BLOOD! STATIC! SCARY! BLOOD! HYPERREALISTIC!


...sorry.

AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Igor on October 02, 2014, 06:21:16 pm
HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD YOU GUYS! BLOOD WITH THE BLOODY BLOOD BLOOD! STATIC! SCARY! BLOOD! HYPERREALISTIC!


...sorry.

AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH0DoZa-rE4
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on October 09, 2014, 07:56:25 pm
Quote
ONE DAY I WENT TO DEH GARAGE SAIL QND SA A MAN GIVE ME DIS COPEH OF SPENGBAB SQUARE PANTZ BUT SAID THE COPY IS HAUNTED SO WHEN II PUT YHE DISK IN IT WAZ STATIC AND LATER SQUIDWARD WAS STARING AT DE SCREEN AND THEN HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD EVERYEHERE AND THEN A SERIAL KILLER CAME TO MY HOUUS ANND KILLD MEH. ND DEN A SKELELELETON POOPED OUT.

I'm pretty sure this is a troll, but I can't know for certain.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Igor on October 09, 2014, 08:03:43 pm
That's absolutely a troll, it's a combination of pretty much all of the most overplayed creepypasta tropes in two sentences and--yeah, I know that's the joke. Someone go ahead and post the picture.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: niam2023 on October 09, 2014, 08:35:13 pm
I wrote a crappypasta when I was like twelve. I saved it because its funny.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Witchyjoshy on October 09, 2014, 10:15:31 pm
Remember when these were called ghost stories?
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on October 09, 2014, 10:45:47 pm
Why back in my day, we didn't need no Slenderman. We just needed the Green Man. We didn't need no Tulpa nonsense for our folk monsters, we just needed downed power lines and childhood magic.

Kids these days don't have the childhood magic.

Get me my goddamn snuff, sonny! Grandpa Johnson can't talk without the snuff! Do I have to whip your ass into self-agency?
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: I am lizard on October 10, 2014, 12:32:48 am
That's absolutely a troll, it's a combination of pretty much all of the most overplayed creepypasta tropes in two sentences and--yeah, I know that's the joke. Someone go ahead and post the picture.
Bogleech wrote that.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Barbarella on October 14, 2014, 01:21:20 pm
Why back in my day, we didn't need no Slenderman. We just needed the Green Man. We didn't need no Tulpa nonsense for our folk monsters, we just needed downed power lines and childhood magic.

Kids these days don't have the childhood magic.

Get me my goddamn snuff, sonny! Grandpa Johnson can't talk without the snuff! Do I have to whip your ass into self-agency?

The weird thing is, that urban legend was somehow based on a rather nice gentleman who was horribly disfigured as a kid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Robinson_%28Green_Man%29
I'd feel kind of weird creating an evil otherworldly specter out of a perfectly decent regular guy with horrific power-line-induced deformities.

Here's one that I think has been described as a crappypasta....SWEET APPLE MASSACRE!

Seen as a far substandard, grosser, sicker successor to the MLP-FiM grimdark fic Cupcakes, this involves Big Mac, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and equine-pedophiliac rape-torture-murder-scat-urine-vomit-mutilation-gawd knows what else mess. Apparently a guy who played something like W.O.W. or something and got mad at a brony who constantly beat him at the game. Pretty petty stuff. The brony in question had the screenname of "CutieMarkCrusader".
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on May 27, 2015, 08:21:23 pm
I recently found this parody of bad video game creepypastas:

Quote
I was nearing the end of my playthrough of Super Metroid. The SNES era was before my time, and as a huge fan of Metroid: Other M, I had downloaded the relevant emulator and rom files to go back and explore the series's roots for the first time.

It wasn't until I made it to the final boss battle against Mother Brain that weird things started happening.  The boss fight started out much as I'd already seen from having played the NES Metroid, but where victory music should have been playing when she finally perished, instead an eerie silence fell for seventeen seconds before, all at once, disturbing music blared from my ipod earbuds as the disembodied brain rose from the ground, now sporting a hideously disfigured body that combined with her rehabilitated brain into a form I now like to refer to as Niarb Rehtom.  She snarled, and hyperrealistic saliva poured from her horrible maw.

Hands already soaked in sweat, I brought Samus's vast arsenal to bear upon the mechanical monstrousity.  For a moment, things seemed to be looking up, as I dodged Niarb Rehtom's projectiles and unloaded Super Missiles and charged Plasma Beams into her vulnerable cranium.

But then, something happened that would haunt me for the remainder of my short days.  Niarb Rehtom's brain glowed and thrummed with what I instantly knew was some eldritch power, and I Space Jumped wildly to stay out of its path.  My efforts were to no avail; a huge energy beam, colored an alien rainbow that made my stomach twist in revulsion, slammed unavoidably into Samus and pinned her against the wall, draining several Energy Tanks along with all of my remaining ammo before it ceased..  When it was done, Samus spent a few moments catching her breath and picking herself up off the ground in a disturbingly realistic fashion totally unlike the charming, cartoony world the rest of the game offered.  That was the moment I knew for certain that this was not the way the final boss fight was meant to progress, and that left only one logical explanation: The rom was haunted.

I pressed on, though I was already gripped by Lovecraftian despair.  Soon enough, Niarb Rehtom repeated her newfound tactic, a tactic I was helpless to do anything about beyond sitting back and watching Samus die little by little, until she couldn't summon the strength to so much as lift herself to her feet anymore even as the horrible beast used lesser attacks to whittle down her health almost to zero.

Finally, Niarb Rehtom readied her final rainbow death ray.  I shut my eyes, unable to watch the carnage.  But a strange new sound, profoundly disturbing in its own right, accompanied the death ray's sound, and I opened my eyes to see the giant Metroid from earlier in Tourian latched onto her head.  It sucked her energy away until she was a dry, lifeless husk, before floating tauntingly over above Samus's head as it chirped and flexed its wicked talons predatorily.

I closed the rom before the Metroid could do to Samus as it had done to Niarb Rehtom.  I couldn't bear to watch any further.  Only a mind intimately familiar with the deepest crevices of Hell could think to inflict such horror and indiscriminate brutality upon a simple Nintendo game.  I have seen into the abyss, and it has told me that God cares not for us.  This will be my final word on this Earth; I have the pistol cocked and loaded resting in my lap even as I type this.  Goodbye, everyone - I'm afraid I won't see you next mission.
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Second Coming of Madman on May 27, 2015, 08:40:21 pm
the babythe babythe babythe babythe babythe babythe babythe babythe babythe baby
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: Ultimate Paragon on May 27, 2015, 09:20:21 pm
Remember me?
Title: Re: Crappypasta
Post by: niam2023 on June 10, 2015, 08:46:45 pm
Quote
Mary wuz woke up by men. Men who brutally hurt her smashed her and then tossed her out in woods after being done hurting her. And then all of a sudden Slenderman appear with Proxies, and revive her. And Mary Was Creepypasta now. Mary looked over proxies, she thought the boy with the verbal tic was cute when he butchered people with his hatchets.

I give you creepypasta badfic.