Author Topic: Stupid religious analogies.  (Read 10704 times)

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Offline Canadian Mojo

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #15 on: February 28, 2013, 03:02:46 pm »
So, based on old 'classical' numbers that could well be wrong, homosexuals make up about 10% of the population and heterosexuals the other 90% (is this where the bi's don't exist comes from?) so 90% of all marriages are going to be heterosexual ones. Half of all marriages end in divorce, which, last time I checked, was a violation of the traditional marriage in the eyes of god. Divorce puts about 45% of the population on god's shit list vs. a paltry 10% with gay marriage.

Odd how there is no push from the right to ban divorce. It's almost like it would inconvenience them or something.

Offline Cataclysm

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #16 on: February 28, 2013, 03:22:53 pm »
What about the old sexist, abstinence-only bullshit line that goes something like, "A penis is like a key: If it can open a lot of locks, then it's a good key. Your vagina is like a lock: If you open for too many keys, then it'll break."


Nobody takes that seriously
I'd be more sympathetic if people here didn't act like they knew what they were saying when they were saying something very much wrong.

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Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #17 on: February 28, 2013, 06:07:19 pm »
What about the old sexist, abstinence-only bullshit line that goes something like, "A penis is like a key: If it can open a lot of locks, then it's a good key. Your vagina is like a lock: If you open for too many keys, then it'll break."


Nobody takes that seriously

Really? Because I actually have heard it from men during discussions about that double standard, and it was from the ones supporting that idea. Just because it's a joke doesn't mean there isn't a message.
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Offline TheUnknown

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #18 on: February 28, 2013, 08:13:23 pm »
What about the old sexist, abstinence-only bullshit line that goes something like, "A penis is like a key: If it can open a lot of locks, then it's a good key. Your vagina is like a lock: If you open for too many keys, then it'll break."


Nobody takes that seriously

Really? Because I actually have heard it from men during discussions about that double standard, and it was from the ones supporting that idea. Just because it's a joke doesn't mean there isn't a message.

Yeah, I've seen it used unironically as well.

Offline Caitshidhe

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #19 on: March 01, 2013, 01:00:13 am »
What about the old sexist, abstinence-only bullshit line that goes something like, "A penis is like a key: If it can open a lot of locks, then it's a good key. Your vagina is like a lock: If you open for too many keys, then it'll break."

It's funny because I can twist it around and say, "A vagina is like a pencil sharpener: If it lets in all the pencils it wants to, it's a good sharpener. Your dick is like a pencil: If you sharpen it too much, it'll break and have to be thrown out."

I've heard two equally sexist arguments along these lines that coincidentally also only apply to girls.

In one analogy, a preacher/speaker plucks the petals off a rose one at a time and compares every sexual experience--depending on how hardcore fundie the speaker is, it can be anything from open-mouth kissing to groping to all sexual activities--to another petal being plucked off. And then you can't put the petals back on, no matter how much you try, so once you've done these things you're sullied forever and nobody--no MAN!!--will want a rose without petals. Totally not a convenient vagina analogy, either, amirite?

The other is comparing a girl to a piece of buttered toast that every guy she's with takes a lick of the butter off of. The more guys she's been with, the more people have licked off more butter and she becomes disgusting and in the end, nobody wants a piece of toast that dozens of other people have licked the butter from.

They only ever focus on women's virginity. Some sects pay attention to men's virginity, but for the most part it's just girls they're hung up on, probably because they have that handy-dandy, conveniently inaccurate hymen as an indicator of virginity which most girls break in childhood anyway.
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Offline JohnE

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #20 on: March 01, 2013, 01:17:06 am »
There's this radio show called The Jesus Christ show. It's a call in show with (a guy pretending to be) Jesus as the host. He uses the analogy that having sex is like gluing two pieces of paper together. Sure you can pull them back apart, but there will always be a some each piece stuck on the other.

Bad analogy aside, I always found the use of imagery of glue in this context hilarious.

Offline TheUnknown

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #21 on: March 01, 2013, 01:33:49 am »
One forum I was on had a guy who's dad was preacher, and used an analogy that surprisingly was about the guy rather than the girl; basically, the guy keeps buying lockets for all of his new girlfriends, and by the time he's found "the one" and goes to buy her the same locket, he realizes the locket no longer has any special meaning.  It's still dumb as shit, but at least it touches upon the fact that it isn't just the girls that are supposed to wait until marriage.

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #22 on: March 01, 2013, 02:37:27 am »
Well, a lot of girls have already torn their hymens by the time they have sex for the first time anyway, so it's a really poor measure of virginity. In fact, virginity seems like more of a social construct than anything else.
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Offline FirsthandTuna

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2013, 02:42:41 am »
Well, a lot of girls have already torn their hymens by the time they have sex for the first time anyway, so it's a really poor measure of virginity. In fact, virginity seems like more of a social construct than anything else.

No, it's like being a new DnD character. After you lose your virginity, you're level 2 and you gain experience points from there.

Therefore, you should have sex with as many people as possible with the ultimate goal of being able to cast Wish.
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Offline Thejebusfire

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #24 on: March 01, 2013, 03:16:56 am »
Then there's that tired old "Watchmaker" argument that creationists have been toting for decades.

I hate that one as much as all the abstinence only ones.

Offline Caitshidhe

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #25 on: March 01, 2013, 04:18:02 am »
Then there's that tired old "Watchmaker" argument that creationists have been toting for decades.

I hate that one as much as all the abstinence only ones.

No matter how many times you explain it, they won't give that one up. IT ISN'T AT ALL THE SAME THING TO COMPARE THINGS THAT EVOLVED NATURALLY WITH THINGS WE ALL KNOW DIDN'T.
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Offline TheUnknown

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #26 on: March 01, 2013, 04:32:27 am »
Then there's that tired old "Watchmaker" argument that creationists have been toting for decades.

I hate that one as much as all the abstinence only ones.

That reminds me of the clay questioning the sculptor metaphor.

Offline chitoryu12

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #27 on: March 01, 2013, 09:14:47 am »
One forum I was on had a guy who's dad was preacher, and used an analogy that surprisingly was about the guy rather than the girl; basically, the guy keeps buying lockets for all of his new girlfriends, and by the time he's found "the one" and goes to buy her the same locket, he realizes the locket no longer has any special meaning.  It's still dumb as shit, but at least it touches upon the fact that it isn't just the girls that are supposed to wait until marriage.

The one thing that gets me about the line of thinking is that there's really nothing wrong about someone wanting to make their first time special, religious or not. The problems arise when people try to tell everyone else that their first time is special. Can't I just fuck in peace? Go away.
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Offline rageaholic

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2013, 03:27:49 pm »
Then there's that tired old "Watchmaker" argument that creationists have been toting for decades.

I hate that one as much as all the abstinence only ones.

That reminds me of the clay questioning the sculptor metaphor.

Oh I despise that one too.  Calvinists seem to love it because it means that you are their God's property.  So blatantly abusive that even in my fundie days, I found it unsettling. 

One forum I was on had a guy who's dad was preacher, and used an analogy that surprisingly was about the guy rather than the girl; basically, the guy keeps buying lockets for all of his new girlfriends, and by the time he's found "the one" and goes to buy her the same locket, he realizes the locket no longer has any special meaning.  It's still dumb as shit, but at least it touches upon the fact that it isn't just the girls that are supposed to wait until marriage.

The one thing that gets me about the line of thinking is that there's really nothing wrong about someone wanting to make their first time special, religious or not. The problems arise when people try to tell everyone else that their first time is special. Can't I just fuck in peace? Go away.

Yup, what works for one person may not work for another.  This is one of my biggest pet peeves with religion; they try to force a one size fits all solution on everyon when it's not necessary.  There are no physical laws that make it impossible for people to have sex before marriage.  People having sex before marriage is a personal decision that only affects them.  All those gimmicky analogies only distract from that point. 

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Stupid religious analogies.
« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2013, 04:18:44 pm »
One forum I was on had a guy who's dad was preacher, and used an analogy that surprisingly was about the guy rather than the girl; basically, the guy keeps buying lockets for all of his new girlfriends, and by the time he's found "the one" and goes to buy her the same locket, he realizes the locket no longer has any special meaning.  It's still dumb as shit, but at least it touches upon the fact that it isn't just the girls that are supposed to wait until marriage.

The one thing that gets me about the line of thinking is that there's really nothing wrong about someone wanting to make their first time special, religious or not. The problems arise when people try to tell everyone else that their first time is special. Can't I just fuck in peace? Go away.

There's also a similar one about how if you have sex too many times then you'll become cynical about sex, and it won't be "special" anymore. I'm not sure how their proposed solution of "waiting until marriage" is supposed to solve this though, since by that logic you'll just become cynical anyway after years of marital sex.
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