I'm honestly thinking about how I could make a fake ID, jump the border, and never ever ever see anyone I'm related to ever again. I'm also waiting for the "my god doesn't like it when you touch yourself" talk, but I am not looking forward to it.
Edit: what. My mom called my therapist and brought it up a "concerning behavior that might be contributing to my depression" (lol wut) and asked to come to my next session. REQUEST DENIIIIIIIIIED.