FSTDT Forums
Community => Society and History => Topic started by: Distind on October 04, 2012, 06:41:30 am
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And anyone else really.
From my own teenage years I'm well aware there's a distinct lack of sane people on the internet to learn from and entire industries devoted to making sure you make the decisions that profit them the most, so I figure I'll open up to any random questions people have and post the odd bit of opinion on growing up to be something other than a fuck up in here. If you want to ask a question feel free to post it in the thread or PM me. If anyone else is up for answering questions on particular subjects chime in, there's plenty of life experience on these boards that's considerably divergent from my own.
I honestly don't have anything on hand at the moment, but that's mostly because I'm getting ready for work, odds are I'll have at least an opinion bit to post in here by the end of the week.
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Tip one for the young guys of FSTDT.
Before you finish school, collage or high school, find the money and get yourself a proper suit. Dark blue or gray, no other colors. Pair with a white dress shirt, a conservative tie and proper dress shocks and shoes.
You will needs this!
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Tip one for the young guys of FSTDT.
Before you finish school, collage or high school, find the money and get yourself a proper suit. Dark blue or gray, no other colors. Pair with a white dress shirt, a conservative tie and proper dress shocks and shoes.
You will needs this!
No matter how much you don't want to, nor how much of a doof you feel like walking into a casual office with a suit on. I tried the no-suit approach a few times, did not go well. I don't even look that good in a suit, but it's definitely expected.
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If she rejects you on the grounds that you're "too nice", what she really means is that she thinks you're a spineless doormat.
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Be aware of the consequences of your actions as well as the consequences of your demeanor. If you act caustic, don't expect people to particularly welcome your input. On the other hand, if you act like a doormat, don't expect people to particularly value your input. It's one thing to seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge, it's another to seek knowledge for the sake of "being right".
Also, don't be like me. :P
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Be you. If you aren't perfect, and you aren't, be willing to change and grow as a person, but don't give up who you are to make others happy.
If there's a chance to do something risky with absolutely no chance of harming anyone, take it. Fortune favors the brave.
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Don't compare yourself or your status or situation to other people. Compare yourself only to yourself. Strive only to be a better you than you were the day before.
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Your relationship status does not define who you are. If you define yourself by who you are in a relationship with, you will be doubly devastated if it comes to an end, because you will have lost not only your significant other, but yourself as well.
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The three most addictive drugs in the world are nicotine, heroin, and cheap credit. Guess which one is the most popular in the USA?
If you want to go to college or buy a big-ticket item (such as a house or a car), try to avoid doing it with borrowed funds. Or, at the very least, try to get the best deal you can get.
You want to go to college? Go to a state school or community college and major in something that is actually in demand, that will teach you a skill you can use straight away. Not some bullshit "[fill in the blank] studies" field. If you want to get into a professional field, such as law, medicine, engineering, etc. work your ass off as an undergrad and then go someplace more "upscale" for your terminal degree. If you can get a scholarship or grant money, so much the better.
I'm only working part time right now, but I'm actually better off than some of my peers who have a higher salary than I do...because on a net worth basis, they are very much in the red. I'm not--I don't owe Sallie Mae or the credit card issuers a single penny. These parasitic institutions make money off of YOUR hard work. Don't let them profit off your efforts--they don't deserve it.
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Always bat first. Always have the duck. Don't leave the bottle half full as tomorrow it will be vinegar.
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Tradition is often wholly divorced from common sense. Forge your own path.
If you're trying to decide if you should kiss them, the answer's yes.
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If you're trying to decide if you should kiss them, the answer's yes.
Thanks mate. Now I'll know exactly what to do next time I have a job interview.
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Rejection is not failure. Rejection is always, always preferable to being strung along. Rejection is a learning process. Rejection is an instant "we are not right for each other and so I shall find someone else" button (and protip: if she rejected you, you're not right for each other. One-sidedness is not a relationship).
Also: buy your sons dolls with clothes that you can take on and off, that have small zippers, hooks and eyelets, and buttons. You may think that this offends his manhood, but this is not so: playing with these things helps develop fine motor skills, which will help him later in life. In other words, your son will be the best fucking bra-undoer the world has ever known.
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One thing that Christian Weston Chandler (oh god, why am I bringing up some poor schmuck who continues to be monitored for entertainment to this day) and other men who think "they've got it all figured out," ignoring the fact that they're some of the most clueless people on the face of the planet:
Not all women are interested in sex. Even if they are willing to have sex, they'll only do it if they feel like it. They are not sex-toys, but human beings like you. They are (from the perspective of someone looking for or dating a woman) sisters, aunts, cousins, nieces, a friend of someone else, even mothers. They care about their friends and family and if you were to do anything unspeakable to them, they would be devastated. Never, ever say that you want to "ejaculate on your face" or "offer you a 'pearl necklace'," as this can be perceived as sexist and they would never date you. Not all women are into bukkake, mammary intercourse, fellatio, anal sex, even "doing it without a condom" (when procreation is not what's on your minds), etc. Another thing is that not all women care about your man-child hobbies, like collecting video games, Transformers, G.I. Joe and any Anime figurines. If you've found one of your kind (though I would strongly dis-recommend this as it is elitist and mono-dimensional), she should be treated with respect and she is not your slave (there is also nothing wrong with being in her footsteps and helping her out as well). If you are to be rejected, see it as what not to do in a relationship (and everything else Smurfette Principle pointed out). You can cry about it when you want (since losing someone can be a harsh process), but you will eventually find another woman and learn from your past mistakes.
Then again, you could give up, just obsess over women who don't exist, hump body pillows with their image or masturbate into a "flesh-light." You will definitely go nowhere there if you never even try to socialize with anyone outside the internet or of the opposite sex, so the most recommended option would be-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-VMTIPwk74
- An introvert and a young man who is late to the game.
(Then again, how many men who behave like those of Loveshy, The Spearhead, etc. come here, other than to bash us for "daring" to insult their misogynist attitudes?)
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Actually there is a technique to opening a bra it is easiest, when facing the girl with your hand reaching around their back and using one hand. Like that I am the fucking master but if she turns around with her back to me and I get to use both hands. Cannot do it.
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Cry. There are those who will say it makes you weak. They are wrong. Tears mean you know how to feel.
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Cry. There are those who will say it makes you weak. They are wrong. Tears mean you know how to feel.
This. A strong and smart person knows when it is time to release pent up feelings. You may hate it, you may want to die, but don't deny that it is something essential to emotional health.
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Tradition is often wholly divorced from common sense. Forge your own path.
I would take this a step further. Tradition is a guide, but not a strait-jacket. If you can't find out where a tradition comes from, or if it arose from a situation which is no longer applicable, feel free to deviate from it.
Traditions are useless if they are built on faulty reasoning or cannot be properly squared with modern realities.
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Never assume anything, always have a back up plan, and never rely on a single person for an important thing.
People will screw you over, they will fuck up your plans, and if you're stupid enough to not make a back up plan out of pride, then you only have yourself to blame.
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Cry. There are those who will say it makes you weak. They are wrong. Tears mean you know how to feel.
This. A strong and smart person knows when it is time to release pent up feelings. You may hate it, you may want to die, but don't deny that it is something essential to emotional health.
The strong cry. The weak bottle it up and die early.
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Learn to sew a button back on a shirt. Also, learn to cook at least one decent meal for yourself.
As to the crying, that's one way to release emotion. There are others. I haven't cried in decades, but I'm just as much a man as anyone here. Point is find a healthy way to deal with a emotions, and FFS use it.
When you see that sweet young thing across the bar, don't let fear of rejection be what stops you from talking to zir. A stupid high percentage of people are polite enough to soften the blow if it is to be rejection ("I'm in a relationship", "I'm not looking for anything right now").
Put what you can from each paycheck away in some sort of savings. Even if it's only $15, it's better than zero. But make sure it's from every check. Trust me, you'll be glad it's there when you need it.
This is most important. If you don't smoke, don't start. If you're already smoking, try to quit. Especially if you are on any kind of insurance. The longer you smoke, the harder it will be. I know it sounds stupid, but I know too many people who figured they're young and have time. Well, life don't work like that.
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Three lessons that I learned while in the army. (But they are pretty universal.)
1) The commander of the NCO school said that if we only remember one thing about him, then we should remember that he said this: "If you get a task that is worth doing, then it is worth doing it properly and seeing it all the way to the end. If you get a task that isn't worth doing then don't even start."
Now that I think about it that IS the only thing I remember about him... What did he even look like? I think he was about average height... Lean... Usually wore an uniform. Hmm...
2) Something my dad taught me: "If you get a task, doing it is easier and less work than first trying to avoid it and then still having to do it."
3) Even if you are in a hurry, rather than blindly rushing in you should stop and think first. With a proper plan and working methodically you get more done faster.
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You don't need a partner. I know, this is really counterintuitive, but hear me out.
If you are angsting about not having a significant other, ask yourself this question: What is a significant other for?
Is it for sex? Well, I feel bad for you, sex is pretty awesome. You also don't need a girlfriend to get off.
Is it to keep you from feeling lonely? You can fill that space with hobbies and friends and other things you enjoy doing, with a variety of people. You don't need a romantic relationship for that.
Is it to fill the boyfriend-shaped hole in your life? Do you think you'll feel better about yourself, or do more things, or be more motivated, or whatever, if you have a significant other? Newsflash: no, you won't. Romantic attachments don't solve a lot of problems.
You don't truly need a romantic relationship, and understanding that is actually one of the best ways to get one, paradoxically, because you're not going after it because you need. That's clingy and desperate and a turn-off. People preach confidence, but it's the confidence to fail, to go home without a date, to have dry spells: that's the kind of confidence you need.
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Once you have steady employment, get yourself a savings buffer. This is basically a sum of money of preferably a few thousand dollars that sits in your bank account (preferably a separate account, just so it's not so easy to fritter away) and serves only as an emergency fund. If you have the discipline to build and maintain it, it can easily pay for itself many times over. For example, if a large appliance like your fridge or water heater breaks down, you should be able to replace it without any sort of loan or payment plan. Not paying the inevitable extortionist interest rates is a huge saving. It'll also save you quite a pretty penny on insurance, if you're savvy about it. For example, it'll allow you to comfortably opt for a longer waiting period with almost any form of insurance you care to purchase, which will naturally result in lower premiums, as well in some cases using it in lieu of making a claim, which will let you keep any no-claims bonus you already have.
Really, a little financial planning will go a hell of a long way. You'll save yourself a heap of money and stress.
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^This. And if you live in a non-free healthcare country, money put back could save you from being hounded by the hospitals and doctors for the rest of your life.
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I'm rather surprised that Art has yet to say "When in doubt, whip it out!"
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I'm rather surprised that Art has yet to say "When in doubt, whip it out!"
Forgive me. I assumed it's a given.
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Is there an alternative for those of us who have nothing to whip out?
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That particular issue is one I sadly lack the experience to adequately address. Though I suppose if you want an equivalent action, you could always try dropping your trousers. I can't speak for its effectiveness, but the option is there nevertheless.
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What about your chest, Antechrist? :P
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For a bit of home-spun wisdom, look no further than the Yorkshireman's creed:
'heer all, see all, an' sey nowt. eet all, sup all, an' pay nowt. An' if tha ivver dus owt fer nowt, allus do it fer thissen'
Translated from northern:
'Hear all, see all and say nothing. Eat all, drink all and pay nothing. And if you ever do anything for nothing, always do it for yourself'
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What about your chest, Antechrist? :P
Exodus 33:20.
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"And if you ever do anything for nothing, always do it for yourself'
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
- the Joker
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Life is strange. Love is even stranger.
It recognizes no authority but its own.
It keeps to its own time table, and it listens to no one but itself.
It is no wonder that Love can be both the most liberating and most frustrating of emotions.
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To springboard off of that.
When you love someone, it's more than just passion.
You become invested in their well-being entirely -- you want to spend time with them, you want them to do well, you want them to feel happy.
However, the truest test of love is how you act when that passion wanes.
Simply enjoying each other's company in silence can be a true mark of love. It doesn't have to be about sex, or kissing, or even hugging.
And sometimes, people fall out of love. Humans are not inherently monogamous creatures, though we have adapted to that lifestyle fairly well. It happens to even the truest of lovers. What's most important is what happens afterwards. Do you try to reforge the love? Or do you agree to move on and remain friends? Or do you pretend that nothing is wrong while your relationship decays from the inside out?
Also, sex and love are not the same thing. It seems obvious, but you'd be surprised at how often one is confused for the other.
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To springboard off of that.
When you love someone, it's more than just passion.
You become invested in their well-being entirely -- you want to spend time with them, you want them to do well, you want them to feel happy.
However, the truest test of love is how you act when that passion wanes.
Simply enjoying each other's company in silence can be a true mark of love. It doesn't have to be about sex, or kissing, or even hugging.
And sometimes, people fall out of love. Humans are not inherently monogamous creatures, though we have adapted to that lifestyle fairly well. It happens to even the truest of lovers. What's most important is what happens afterwards. Do you try to reforge the love? Or do you agree to move on and remain friends? Or do you pretend that nothing is wrong while your relationship decays from the inside out?
Also, sex and love are not the same thing. It seems obvious, but you'd be surprised at how often one is confused for the other.
... never before have I wanted to preserve a post for all time.
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It can be incredibly exciting once you've found your first girl/boyfriend, but it can also serve as a necessary learning experience. Take it slow. Don't jump the gun and decide you're going to get married eventually after being together for just a couple months, because chances are you haven't had enough time to learn about one another. A lot of people mistake that initial rush of passion for love and overlook important things about their partner. Doing so puts unnecessary strain on the relationship and makes it hurt far worse if a breakup occurs. Be smart. Take time (a loooot of time) to learn about the person and, if you're old enough and ready to commit, decide whether you're willing to pursue something long-term.
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What about your chest, Antechrist? :P
Exodus 33:20.
You're a Blemmye?
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Is there an alternative for those of us who have nothing to whip out?
No one specified that "it" had to be yours.
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The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it.
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Don't stay in a relationship that you're not happy in just because you're scared that you won't ever find another one.
Rejection is part of life. Whether it's from potential mates, jobs, schools, friends, anything. Life gives you far more noes than yesses.
It's great to have goals, but don't ever put a strict time limit on them. It only serves to discourage you if you don't reach your goal in time.
Doing any little bit of something is far better than doing nothing.
Don't be a cunt.
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Be excellent to each other! --Bill and Ted
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Be excellent to each other! --Bill and Ted
That's all you really need.
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Never ask a guy named Spike to step outside.
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It can be incredibly exciting once you've found your first girl/boyfriend, but it can also serve as a necessary learning experience. Take it slow. Don't jump the gun and decide you're going to get married eventually after being together for just a couple months, because chances are you haven't had enough time to learn about one another. A lot of people mistake that initial rush of passion for love and overlook important things about their partner. Doing so puts unnecessary strain on the relationship and makes it hurt far worse if a breakup occurs. Be smart. Take time (a loooot of time) to learn about the person and, if you're old enough and ready to commit, decide whether you're willing to pursue something long-term.
Just to put something solid here, I'd say at least a year of living together alone. Things change when you live together, and a bit more when there's no one else around.
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God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
In other words learn to pick your battles. You can't win them all and many of them are not worth fighting. Some times you simply have to swallow your pride.
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Something to the younger crowd...
Don't let the search for a significant other be your only motivation. Look, certainly, love favors the active, but there's a line between activity and obsession.
Life is too short to focus on one thing alone. There's so much out there, so many wonderful things to see, to feel, to experience, that narrowing your focus so much really cheats you out of what life has to offer. Have a goal, but also have a hobby, give yourself something to do. Go out, look for new places, walk in an area you've only driven past, take the back roads home. There's a lot of beauty in life, and we've only a short time here to see even the smallest glimpse of it all, but see all you can. Enjoy your life, have fun, because once its over, that's it.
Live your life, and enjoy what you got, because you never know when the ride's gonna end, so take from it what you can.
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Use credit wisely. When you get your first credit card, make only a few small purchases, like use it only for gas and groceries. Try not to carry a balance of more than five dollars.
And on this line, make sure you can differentiate needs and wants. Sounds ridiculous, but too many people get into trouble confusing the two.
At work, I've found this disturbing trend. Sometimes your boss will be a dick. It happens from time to time. It's not your boss' job to be your friend, and it's not your job to like him or her. One of my sergeants from back when put it best. "You don't have to like me. You just have to do what I say." If it gets too bad, you can look for other employment. That's always an option. But, well, if it was always fun they wouldn't have to pay you for it.
Learn to iron a shirt and pair of pants. This will help you in the long run.
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For teenage boys, gangstas and wannabe gangstas:
Nobody is interested in your underwear. Pull the damn pants up.
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Become a renaissance man. Learn to do for yourself as much as possible. You need to know how to perform some car repair, so home repair, how to sew, basic electrical work and basic plumbing. Find someone to teach you or find a good site on the internet.
I started to day bypassing the heater core on my truck since is started to leak and finished re-stuffing and sewing up my three year old's pillow pet.
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Become a renaissance man. Learn to do for yourself as much as possible. You need to know how to perform some car repair, so home repair, how to sew, basic electrical work and basic plumbing. Find someone to teach you or find a good site on the internet.
I started to day bypassing the heater core on my truck since is started to leak and finished re-stuffing and sewing up my three year old's pillow pet.
On that note, this site is one DAMN good start: http://artofmanliness.com/
Have fun, see you all in three weeks.
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Be nice to people and eat your vegetables.
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In the words of Amon Amarth:
Only a coward thinks he'll live / If he keeps himself from strife
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People are lying backstabbing bastards. And they will screw you over if they are given the chance, and if you find someone that breaks this rule, hold on to them for dear life
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Don't take your life so personally. 95% of everything that happens to you, good or bad, has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. You just happened to be there when it happened.
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Atrophy is a terrible thing. Not just muscles are susceptible. Any skills you have are subject to it as well. Exercising not only your body but your mind will pay dividends in both the short term but long term as well.