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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 396649 times)

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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2265 on: July 13, 2014, 10:40:21 pm »
Granted. Your dad becomes a Communist.

I wish the girl I like didn't have cancer.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2266 on: July 13, 2014, 10:59:40 pm »
Granted. You get cancer.

I wish I didn't have to go to court on Tuesday.
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2267 on: July 13, 2014, 11:02:33 pm »
Granted. The defendant makes a plea deal, so your mangled, castrated remains will not be needed as evidence.

I wish Starbucks was open 24/7.
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Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

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Offline Second Coming of Madman

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2268 on: July 13, 2014, 11:33:02 pm »
You become a eternal zombie, forced to buy oversized coffee 24/7.

I wish to control whatever results my wishes come out to, with no loopholes from my genie slave.
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Toddlers get too much exercise, they wouldn't make good veal.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2269 on: July 13, 2014, 11:46:33 pm »
Granted, but you're incapable of wishing for anything other than to be furiously buggered by a large cactus.

I wish sci-fi writers would realise that spacecraft do not in fact handle like planes.
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Offline Ghoti

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2270 on: July 14, 2014, 12:28:46 am »
Granted. They're now convinced that spacecraft handle exactly like horse-drawn wagons.

I wish the Cadmus arc of JLU didn't suck.
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Offline Svata

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2271 on: July 14, 2014, 12:57:11 am »
Granted. It is now the only one that doesn't. 

I wish for three incorruptible wishes.
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Offline I am lizard

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2272 on: July 14, 2014, 01:37:41 am »
Out of range

I wish for my skin to melt.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2273 on: July 14, 2014, 04:43:48 pm »
Granted. It melts in the process of your self-immolation.

I wish for life to be fair.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Second Coming of Madman

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2274 on: July 14, 2014, 04:59:59 pm »
You are dead. because the jackass genie can't think of a way to pervert that.

I wish to integrate a binary fusion generator in my hand, that shoots Orion drive beams out like a madman.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 05:04:56 pm by Second Coming of Madman »
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Toddlers get too much exercise, they wouldn't make good veal.

Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2275 on: July 14, 2014, 08:35:21 pm »
Granted, but having that implanted in your arm gives you a particularly lethal form of cancer and you are dead within a month.

I wish for a well-paying job that doesn't suck.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2276 on: July 14, 2014, 08:36:41 pm »
Granted, but you also have crippling debts.

I wish for the new Star Wars movies to be good.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Second Coming of Madman

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2277 on: July 14, 2014, 08:56:45 pm »
Granted, as I will now make crappy BSG movies instead.

I wish that Shaq's rap career never happened.
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Toddlers get too much exercise, they wouldn't make good veal.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2278 on: July 14, 2014, 09:18:11 pm »
Granted. His country music career was a thing instead.

I wish there was more food in the house.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #2279 on: July 14, 2014, 09:24:42 pm »
Granted, if you count your housepets as food.

I wish for my idea of a business making and selling chainmail jewelery and accessories to succeed.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.
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