Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 363528 times)

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Offline MadmanJohnson

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1845 on: July 17, 2013, 10:51:15 am »
Granted, It blows up on use.

I wish I was alive again.
Before you die an agonizing, chainsaw-related death, you're gonna hear about the Hate Plague!
I'm accusing you of being stupid.
I dare to be stupid.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1846 on: July 17, 2013, 12:26:36 pm »
Granted, It blows up on use.

I wish I was alive again.
Granted. You are reborn as a baby. A baby male Preying Mantis.

I wish to know the time.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1847 on: July 17, 2013, 01:00:50 pm »
Granted, but the knowledge drives you insane.

I wish I didn't need to pee so goddamn frequently.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1848 on: July 17, 2013, 01:02:44 pm »
Granted. Your bladder is extraordinarily large and presses up against your other organs, causing you excruciating pain.

i wish hours and hours of data entry didn't make me want to bash my head against a brick wall.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1849 on: July 17, 2013, 01:36:00 pm »
Granted. It gives you the overwhelming desire to shoot yourself in the left buttock with a shotgun.

I wish to have an early-release DVD of the "Devil's Carnival" sequel and for it to be as awesome as it looks.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1850 on: July 17, 2013, 01:48:55 pm »
Granted. It gives you the overwhelming desire to shoot yourself in the left buttock with a shotgun.

I wish to have an early-release DVD of the "Devil's Carnival" sequel and for it to be as awesome as it looks.
Granted. The MPAA arrests you for stealing it and gets you a multi-million dollar fine and decades in jail.

I wish for less stomach aches.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1851 on: July 17, 2013, 02:01:06 pm »
Granted. Your intestines ache instead.

I wish there existed couches/chairs where you could sit on them for hours on end and not get a sore ass.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1852 on: July 17, 2013, 03:59:08 pm »
Granted. Your intestines ache instead.

I wish there existed couches/chairs where you could sit on them for hours on end and not get a sore ass.
Granted. They sever your spine.

I wish I was undead.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1853 on: July 17, 2013, 07:55:05 pm »
Granted. You're a mindless zombie. And not the fast ones either.

I wish people weren't so fucking stupid.

Offline MadmanJohnson

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1854 on: July 17, 2013, 09:43:55 pm »
Granted, they are intelligent murderers.

I wish I had a hand-held fusion cannon.
Before you die an agonizing, chainsaw-related death, you're gonna hear about the Hate Plague!
I'm accusing you of being stupid.
I dare to be stupid.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1855 on: July 17, 2013, 10:21:19 pm »
Granted, it explodes and destroys an entire city, including you.

I wish to be a parkour expert.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1856 on: July 17, 2013, 10:27:54 pm »
Granted. You know everything about parkour but you lack the physical ability to pull off even the simplest techniques.

I wish for the ability to make fictional characters listen when I yell at them about the stupid things they are doing.
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Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1857 on: July 17, 2013, 11:50:46 pm »
Granted. You know everything about parkour but you lack the physical ability to pull off even the simplest techniques.

I wish for the ability to make fictional characters listen when I yell at them about the stupid things they are doing.
Granted, but you lose some of your ability to tell the difference between fiction and reality each time you use it.

I wish for Buffy to return to television.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1858 on: July 18, 2013, 11:59:31 am »
Granted. She stars in one of those aerobics infomercials they broadcast in the wee hours of the morning.

I wish I could think of something original to wish for.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1859 on: July 18, 2013, 12:18:58 pm »
Granted, but it's such a terrible wish that you're immediately banned from the Internet for all time.

I wish people were required to demonstrate a clear, basic understanding of science before entering politics.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.