Thread Killer

[Sleepy]

Scissor me timbers.

[Askold]

Scissor me timbers.

...You have a girlfriend called "timbers?" Or is it just a nickname.

...How does one get a nickname like that? Is it because it is really easy to make her fall for you? Is she so big that if she trips people have to shout a warning or someone might be crushed beneath her? If latter isn't that just an insult on how promiscuous she is?

But that's just slut-shaming and Timbers is a grown woman and if she wants to scissor random people then it's her choice (and the choice of her sexual partners' of course) and at this time and age people really should stop slut-shaming women. (And the double standard on people thinking it is "manly" for men to have lots of sexual partner but shameful for women.)

...Of course of "Timbers" isn't an adult woman and merely an underage girl things are a bit different.

...But maybe I'm overthinking the ramifications of your statement. ...Also, I may or may not be pulling your leg. (Which would be detrimental to anyone scissoring you if it wasn't just a metaphor.)

[Sleepy]

I suppose you could call Timbers my girlfriend. I met her a year ago when I was at sea under Captain Hark during one of our expeditions. We ended up boarding the ship Hades' Grail because Hark held a longstanding grudge against its captain - probably due to a barfight or something equally trivial. I felt fairly remorseful in conducting an unprovoked attack, but Hark threatened to gut us otherwise.

Anyway, we hopped aboard the ship and killed everyone, including the captain. Or at least, we thought we did. While we were still looting his chests, the ship's mast came crashing down, crushing three of our men. I investigated and found her there - the only surviving Hades' Grail crew member, and we'd somehow missed her. Probably due to her sly ways. I was ready to gut her just as well once I cornered her, but she instead asked to join our crew. Hark initially refused, but I promised him that she'd be useful, given what she pulled during our battle. At last she joined us, and I insisted we change her name from "Lily" to something much more fitting, hence the name "Timbers." To this day, we "share" a cabin on our ship. Our crew mates give us the eye on occasion, but I find it rather amusing.

(click to show/hide)

Or maybe I was just quoting South Park in my original post. You decide.

[Askold]

This doesn't quite fit into the annoyance thread since it was just mildly amusing: I was looking for some wallpaper/image to put on a FB group of my rpg and while googling for city ruins (can't remember the exact list of words I used) I also found a random picture of that meme-wrestler Cena in front of such ruins as well as a MLP/Fallout wallpaper. Good to see that the Bronies are still energetic and making up weird stuff. Not sure about the wrestler, the first I heard about that meme was people complaining about the meme and it seems to be the equivalent of Rickroll or Goatse in the way people are using it AND how people react to it.

[Ultimate Paragon]

I have Meat Loaf songs running through my head.

[Sleepy]

When you're flipping through the channels trying to help your grandmother find HGTV and you land on porn. Someone please stab me (and eat my corpse, if you feel like it).

[Svata]

Yay! Corpses!

[lord gibbon]

And once again, cannibalism takes the stage!

[ironbite]

When you're flipping through the channels trying to help your grandmother find HGTV and you land on porn. Someone please stab me (and eat my corpse, if you feel like it).

.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Zygarde]

...Wow, that must have sucked, and I mean that literally if it was an oral sex scene.

[Ultimate Paragon]

If we're all God's children, and Jesus was God's only son, does that mean we're all women?

[guizonde]

incest! keepin' it in the family!

[Veras]

I work at Barnes & Noble.  Last night, I had a shift in the cafe, and one woman ordered a hot drink with whipped cream.  I made it, put the lid on it, and gave it to her.  She looked confused, and asked why there wasn't any whipped cream.  I told her that there was whipped cream on it (I still had the canister on the counter--I knew that I hadn't forgotten).  She said, "Oh, is it under the lid?" and took the lid off to check.

For the life of me, I still can't figure out what she expected.  Where else would it have been?

[The_Queen]

I work at Barnes & Noble.  Last night, I had a shift in the cafe, and one woman ordered a hot drink with whipped cream.  I made it, put the lid on it, and gave it to her.  She looked confused, and asked why there wasn't any whipped cream.  I told her that there was whipped cream on it (I still had the canister on the counter--I knew that I hadn't forgotten).  She said, "Oh, is it under the lid?" and took the lid off to check.

For the life of me, I still can't figure out what she expected.  Where else would it have been?

On your cock?

[davedan]

Yeah not putting it on your cock was a bit of a rookie mistake. Because when she asked where it was you could have whipped it out and asked her to help herself to cream.