Author Topic: Vending Machine  (Read 117857 times)

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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #675 on: May 31, 2013, 11:21:07 am »
You get the chance to never eat again, because your food always screams in pain.

I insert Pepsi and Coke.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Random Dinosaur

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #676 on: June 02, 2013, 03:07:48 am »
You get poked.

I insert a Toilet Shark.

(they may be rare, but they inhabit sewer systems worldwide. Just check before you sit down.)

Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #677 on: June 02, 2013, 03:55:07 am »
You get poked.

I insert a Toilet Shark.

(they may be rare, but they inhabit sewer systems worldwide. Just check before you sit down.)

You get a Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

I insert bubble wrap.
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.

Offline Random Dinosaur

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #678 on: June 06, 2013, 05:31:12 pm »
It comes back completely popped.

I insert a hobo.

Offline Potenatae Argyros

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #679 on: June 07, 2013, 02:08:13 am »
You get the hobo's severed head, along with a note telling you to never throw garbage into their dimension.

I insert a portal gun.
I came up with this signature all by myself.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #680 on: June 07, 2013, 02:57:26 am »
You get a homicidally-insane computer that happens to be shaped like a woman in skintight bondage gear. (seriously, take a look)

I insert an idiotic artificial intelligence. As in, the stupidest moron a team of brilliant scientists working for years could deliberately design.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
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http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Askold

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #681 on: June 07, 2013, 04:02:31 am »
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #682 on: June 07, 2013, 05:15:53 am »
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #683 on: July 06, 2013, 03:43:56 am »
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #684 on: July 06, 2013, 03:47:18 am »
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.

You get Sarah Palin and Thomas Jefferson having a vicious catfight.

I insert My Neighbor Totoro.
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #685 on: July 06, 2013, 03:49:54 am »
You get chlamydia. (Well, it's a test tube with something in it and at least the label CLAIMS that it is chlamydia.)

I insert a sguirrel pelt.

You get a Ghipmunk.

I insert Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn.
You get an oddly popular among teenagers merchandising wet dream.

I insert a gun, a Bible and a copy of the US Constitution.

You get Sarah Palin and Thomas Jefferson having a vicious catfight.

I insert My Neighbor Totoro.
You get a Month of Miyazaki.

I insert a cat, a dog and cybernetics.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #686 on: July 06, 2013, 04:38:42 am »
You get a Terminator that can't decide if it wants to kill all humans or chase its own tail.

I insert the T-1000.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #687 on: July 06, 2013, 04:45:43 am »
You get a Terminator that can't decide if it wants to kill all humans or chase its own tail.

I insert the T-1000.
You get ten T-100s.

I put in nothing.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2013, 08:21:53 pm by PosthumanHeresy »
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Random Dinosaur

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #688 on: July 06, 2013, 01:21:32 pm »
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"

I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.

Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #689 on: July 06, 2013, 02:06:04 pm »
You get a note from the machine that reads "Put something in next time!"

I insert a shark with frickin laser beams attached to its head.

You get a shagadelic, mod British man with bad teeth.

I insert Hetty
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.