Author Topic: Vending Machine  (Read 115365 times)

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Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #735 on: July 18, 2013, 08:22:31 pm »
You get a sponge, filled with water and frozen solid, sitting on a throne. it's name is Bob.

I insert some sauerkraut, six soft pretzels, and two pints of beer.

You get one of those Bavarian wenches on your lap.

I insert Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas and Pratchett's Hogfather.
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #736 on: July 18, 2013, 10:06:09 pm »
You get Death performing musical numbers, all the time lampshading how ridiculous they really are.

I insert Terry Pratchett's collected works and a copy of every Monty Python DVD in existence.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline anti-nonsense

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #737 on: July 19, 2013, 07:49:58 am »
You get a book so funny it causes the Laughterapolocalyse.

I insert a ham and cheese sandwich and a smoothie.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 07:52:46 am by anti-nonsense »
From international relations to religious rivalries, from marriage to athlete's foot, whatever the problem a fundy's first solution is usually violence.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #738 on: July 19, 2013, 08:01:43 am »
You get a book so funny it causes the Laughterapolocalyse.

I insert a ham and cheese sandwich and a smoothie.
You get a ham and cheese smoothie.

I insert rice.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline ironbite

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #739 on: July 19, 2013, 10:41:57 am »
You get Condelezza Rice.

Ironbite-I insert the rage of a thousand beasts.

Offline anti-nonsense

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #740 on: July 19, 2013, 12:16:49 pm »
You get Death Metal

I insert chopped liver.
From international relations to religious rivalries, from marriage to athlete's foot, whatever the problem a fundy's first solution is usually violence.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #741 on: July 19, 2013, 12:31:29 pm »
You get yourself.

I insert the vending machine.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #742 on: July 19, 2013, 01:25:30 pm »
You get a Mobius loop.

I insert every copy of every Twilight-related material ever. In the world.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #743 on: July 19, 2013, 01:49:37 pm »
You get a Mobius loop.

I insert every copy of every Twilight-related material ever. In the world.
You get a beam of light to the face. Everything you see is now Twilight related.

I insert my shitty computer.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline Valerius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #744 on: July 19, 2013, 01:59:02 pm »
You get two older and even shittier computers.

I insert all the paperwork from my job.

Offline PosthumanHeresy

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #745 on: July 19, 2013, 02:47:52 pm »
You get two older and even shittier computers.

I insert all the paperwork from my job.
You get fired for losing it all.

I insert a buck fifty.
What I used to think was me is just a fading memory. I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye".
 - Trent Reznor, Down In It

Together as one, against all others.
- Marilyn Manson, Running To The Edge of The World

Humanity does learn from history,
sadly, they're rarely the ones in power.

Quote from: Ben Kuchera
Life is too damned short for the concept of “guilty” pleasures to have any meaning.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #746 on: July 19, 2013, 03:28:28 pm »
You get trampled to death by fifty bucks (as in, deer).

I insert a baby chimpanzee, a wolf cub and a tiger cub.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Feral Dog

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #747 on: July 19, 2013, 08:32:25 pm »
You get trampled to death by fifty bucks (as in, deer).

I insert a baby chimpanzee, a wolf cub and a tiger cub.

You get a Jungle Book knockoff with a human named Bowgli.

I insert Gendo Ikari, Vetinari, and David Xanatos.
I crochet.

EDIT: Aaaand my 10,000th post is about fascism, Plato, and gay sex. This is clearly a great accomplishment.

Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #748 on: July 19, 2013, 08:41:46 pm »
You get the most magnificent bastard the world has ever known.

I insert every mech-related anime ever created.
http://www.gofundme.com/kw5o78
My GoFundMe campaign. Donations are greatly appreciated.

http://imgur.com/user/RUSirius1/submitted
My Imgur account. Upvotes always appreciated

If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline anti-nonsense

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Re: Vending Machine
« Reply #749 on: July 20, 2013, 03:49:42 am »
You get a DRILL TO PIERCE THE HEAVENS.

I insert the collected ramblings of Kent Hovind.
From international relations to religious rivalries, from marriage to athlete's foot, whatever the problem a fundy's first solution is usually violence.