Author Topic: Let's Roast Jack Chick! UPDATE: EVERYBODY USE IMGUR  (Read 21557 times)

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Offline Eniliad

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #30 on: March 25, 2012, 08:48:16 pm »
Since I'm a huge Pathfinder nut, I think it falls upon me to do a thorough riffing on a Dungeons and Dragons tract. Strap in folks, let's throw them dice and play some Mazes and Monsters! Er, I mean D&D.



Ok, first of all, let's look at the setting. The DM clearly makes a pretty decent living to live in a place this nice. Now, as for the board... that's actually pretty accurate, though I don't usually bother with grids unless I have to (they take too much effort to make, set up and use). Now, I don't know about you, but I never ask people to refer to me as "Dungeon Master", especially if I'm not DMing. That just gets confusing. Anyway, the spell of light? A cantrip? Come on, you're clearly already in combat, you have no business throwing 0th-level spells! Blinding the monster is nice but if it's one-on-party, you really should be throwing things like Scorching Ray, unless you took Evocation as a barred school... I'm over-thinking this.



OWNED. FUCKING OWNED. No saving throw, no hit points, you're fucking dead. Must be playing Tomb of Horrors. Our thief character rightly goes into a spasm (seriously, look at that fucking DM screen! I want that shit!), and I love the O_O expression on her face. I have to admit I've had that kind of reaction to a PC dropping like that... actually, I've never had a character die without a saving throw, but I just love the way the DM does it. "I declare her dead." Awesome. Gotta love the GTFO out of Pigtail Girl. She kinda reminds me of Penny from Inspector Gadget; let's call her that.



Wait - she got a cleric to 8th level and didn't teach spells? How the fuck do you do that? You start the fucking game with a shitload of 0th level, and a few 1st level spells. It's divine power for fuck's sake! What, did she make a Cleric with 8 Wisdom so s/he couldn't cast spells? At least it explains how our unlucky thief died before. Our cleric can't even Raise Dead. That's some epic-level failure, and it's just the kind of bullshit my friend S would pull in character creation to fuck with me.



Wait... you mean in real life? Oh man, this is rich. The number of things wrong with this is hilarious. First of all, in Wiccan fashion the point on the star is upward, not downward to represent Satanism. You could argue that's a matter of perspective... but what are these assholes DOING? They're just standing around milling to themselves. Actually, they more resemble Jedi than witches/warlocks. Not to mention, I notice a disturbing lack of runes in this pentagram. Also... where the fuck are they? There exist places in America where giant perfectly-drawn pentagrams on floors give way to gatherings of robed people... and nobody questions this? Ever? I'm pretty sure joining a cult of any kind gets you attention from the local authorities. They file it in their "what the fuck?" folder. I'm not even done mocking this, however. The girl's name is actually Elfstar? That sounds like the kind of bullshit someone would name their character but it's her given name? Or are they referring to her char name as her given, now? Finally, that's one hell of an initiation. I'm not familiar with the occult, or anything like this, but they have NO hiring standards, man. No wonder nobody has cracked down on these idiots yet. They're the most inept cult in the world!



Penny (I refuse to call her fucking Elfstar) is apparently learning Clerical magic. Hmm... her first spell? That's gotta be 0th level. I don't think we have anything to worry about from Penny in terms of dangerous magic. "Real power" my ass. Wake me up when you learn Cure Moderate Wounds.



Wait wait wait. I call foul! That's a 5th level Wizard spell! Seriously, look!

Quote
Feeblemind
School enchantment (compulsion) [mind-affecting]; Level sorcerer/wizard 5
Casting Time 1 standard action
Components V, S, M (a handful of clay, crystal, or glass spheres)
Range medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target one creature
Duration instantaneous
Saving Throw Will negates; see text; Spell Resistance yes
Target creature's Intelligence and Charisma scores each drop to 1. The affected creature is unable to use Intelligence- or Charisma-based skills, cast spells, understand language, or communicate coherently. Still, it knows who its friends are and can follow them and even protect them. The subject remains in this state until a heal, limited wish, miracle, or wish spell is used to cancel the effect of the feeblemind. A creature that can cast arcane spells, such as a sorcerer or a wizard, takes a –4 penalty on its saving throw.

This chick went from a Cleric to a high level mage overnight? Bullshit! Not only is that the wrong class, it's too high a Spell Level. In order to cast 5th level magic, you have to be a 9th level character. Remember earlier? The cleric was EIGHTH-level. So unless she's actually a multi-class Cleric-Wizard and she was Wizard 9/Cleric 8, I call bullshit! Besides, if you're going to do that, why not become a Mystic Theurge and own everyone with your insane number of spell slots?



Oh, wait, you used Dominate Person? ... That's STILL a 5th level Sorcerer/Wizard spell, or a Bard 4! What the fucking fuck! This chick either gets 1 level per XP or she's lying her ass off. Not to mention, I question her alignment if she, a good person (I assume) is now casting Dominate Person on her own father for personal gain. But whatever.



W-what?

Hang on... I'm confused. This is the DM on the phone, telling ... Debbie - who the fuck is Debbie? She looks like Penny - or Elfstar - from earlier... so they WERE referring to her by her character name? I guess that coven was a LARP. Also, she's playing D&D without the rest of the group? How does that even work? Unless she's doing a solo campaign on the side... but still, if you're a 8th level Cleric (or a 17th level Cleric/Wizard) it shouldn't take you more than the snap of your fingers to kill a zombie. It's got a Challenge Rating of 1/2. It averages 12 HP. You could probably kill it with a Magic Missile! Just blow the fucker away and move on! If you really take that long to kill a Zombie at your level, you fail as a player.



Who the fuck is that? Oh right, that was the thief from the beginning. I actually had to go look it up because the character was so poorly done. She's there, she's gone. Also, I love how Debbie's dressed like a pseudo-soldier (I dunno, something about the shoulder bars and her posture). Oh well, if she's been up in her room for weeks, I guess it's time for some good old Full House esque talk-



Oh.

Or not.

Actually, even this makes me laugh my ass off. Something about the "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT" just cracks me up. It sounds like what I told S when I figured out he was manually adding STR and Base Atk bonuses to monsters when the Bestiary just provides it. "You didn't have to do all that!" Also, bitching dragon statue. Just saying. ...so what, did this just happen? Or did her mom not check on her for two weeks?



...

You know, I've had characters die for bullshit reasons, and I'm still typing this. But yeah; her thief died, so she had to off herself too. ... melodramatic much? I'm not a doctor, but I think this chick was already pretty unstable if she killed herself after her character died. What in the love of fuck.



Uh... she died regardless of your participation in the game. Let's remember how Black Leaf (really? Fucking stupid character name, and I've seen Fi-Tor) died: "The thief Black Leaf failed to find the poison trap, and I declare her dead." Whether you were sitting at the table or not, that would have happened. And you weren't exactly in the room when she topped herself, honey. At any rate, I love the Evil Overlord look in our friendly DM. Her seething "EEEEE" angry face is priceless.



Oops, looks like you're shifting alignment. To the point that you're not in favor with your god. Looks like you're losing some class abilities. Ouch. Hey, it's not so bad, you can get it back later; in the meantime, take a level or two in Fighter or Monk. Also, "too weak"? Lady, you killed her character without so much as a saving throw! ...No! I'm not letting the lack of saving throw go! Shit, if this were Pathfinder you'd get several; resisting the poison, stabilizing at <0 HP (assuming the poison was cured), and each loss of HP has a fucking saving throw.

Oh wait. Your cleric sucks and can't cast Remove Disease or Cure X Wounds. I forgot. Maybe declaring her dead was a mercy. Do the whole party next.



Whoa! DM lady's gone of the nutter end! "BECOME YOUR CHARACTER MORE. LET DEBBIE DIE. CTHULU FTAGN!" Love the face.



A friendly Mormon comes over to help.



Yes, I agree, because this isn't D&D anymore. Some crazy lady is using a game to indoctrinate people into a death cult.



GET IT? A DUNGEON OF BONDAGE? BECAUSE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS??

Oh, Chick, you card. Loving the pedo-stache on the pastor by the way.



Oh god, this is one of those stupid televangelists. Even when I was a Christian I knew these people were full of shit. The demonstrations and shit? I think there's a bible passage or two about that.

Quote
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Matthew 7:21-23



Yep, this guy's going to hell via Matthew. Wait- what's that? Warning see... *shrugs* okay...

Quote
13 Then some of the itinerant Jewish exorcists took it upon themselves to call the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, “We[a] exorcise you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches.” 14 Also there were seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, who did so.

15 And the evil spirit answered and said, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?”

16 Then the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, overpowered them, and prevailed against them,[c] so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17 This became known both to all Jews and Greeks dwelling in Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.

...wait. Is Jack Chick refuting his own point? He's pointing out that either a) this guy has no power, b) she's not really demon-possessed, or c) There's an off-panel beating of this man delivered by the girl. At this point, I'm hoping for c, just because it'd be entertaining and this is honestly boring the shit out of me at this point.



Damn, no such luck.

Well, there you have it folks. Don't play D&D with evil witches who kill off characters without saving throws. They could turn out to be under Satanic influence, or are crazy, or at the very least are shitty DMs.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2012, 06:11:15 pm by Eniliad »
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Offline Stormwarden

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #31 on: March 25, 2012, 10:15:22 pm »
I'd like to see Jack Chick's reaction to any game from White Wolf. He'd probably lose his mind if he saw how White Wolf handles their games.


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Offline Yla

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2012, 03:16:47 am »
I can't see any tract pics in this thread. Not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing, I can infer some of what happens from the commentary.
That said, I've stopped trying to anticipate what people around here want a while ago, I've found it makes things smoother.
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Offline Eniliad

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2012, 03:50:18 am »
No? Huh... I'll see about hosting them on imageshack then, I guess.

EDIT: Odd, all attempts to directly upload it to imageshack or imgur aren't working. I could save them all, save as PNG and retry (the issue is the .gif extension) but that's way too much work for Jack Chick's benefit. I guess, just check this out and you'll see what I'm riffing: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP  :-\
« Last Edit: March 26, 2012, 03:55:34 am by Eniliad »
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Offline SpaceProg

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2012, 04:03:12 am »
I could see them fine.  It was the Rabbi Waxman one I couldn't see most of.  Weird.

Offline Yla

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2012, 05:29:10 am »
I guess, just check this out and you'll see what I'm riffing: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP  :-\
That works, thx
That said, I've stopped trying to anticipate what people around here want a while ago, I've found it makes things smoother.
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Offline Morgenleoht

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2012, 05:43:01 am »
I'd like to see Jack Chick's reaction to any game from White Wolf. He'd probably lose his mind if he saw how White Wolf handles their games.

...OMFG. Could you imagine his reaction to the Giovanni/Sangiovanni?
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Offline myusername

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #37 on: March 26, 2012, 12:59:26 pm »
Tract Title: “The Poor Revolutionist”
Alternate Tract Title: Jack Chick Fails Marxism Forever!

Jack Chick. Communism. A recipe for fail. As Marxism is one interest of mine, (I’m no expert, but I have studied political theory, which is more than can be said for Chick), I’m going to point out the stupidity. May contain some quotes from Marx, Engels etc. Bear in mind that this fail was written in 2010.



Cos all communists look like people who haven’t left the 1960’s. What, no posters of actual communists on the wall? Fidel Castro or Che Guevara or something? Karl Marx? Vladimir Lenin? No? That said, I don’t think I want to see Chick’s attempts at drawing these people. He didn’t even put a hammer and sickle i.e. generic sign for communism 101 on there. Communists are not necessarily the same as hippies, Jack.
Why a peace sign if they are planning a violent revolution…I’m confused.
These guys’ security isn’t exactly very good if they have random fundies bursting in on cell meetings.



And apparently commies also have anger management issues.
And, play acoustic guitar and sing about revolution a lot. Again, I get Hippie vibe rather than Communist Revolutionary vibe. While I can see hippies setting up communes and the like, that’s slightly different from the idea of forcibly overthrowing the government.
Woman with a guitar doesn't exactly scream "hard nosed terrorist" to me, Jack, that's all I'm saying.



People change their beliefs sometimes?



How does this work then? Being “Born Again” isn’t enough to save you if some random fundie decides you aren’t holy enough?



“Christianity has failed”. If by that you mean “fundamentalist Christianity has dragged society back through the ages” than I 100% agree.
Why doesn’t the brother in this scenario just go to the authorities and have these lot arrested? There are plenty of grounds to do so. He could have just spied on the meeting, recorded it and took it to the police and he wouldn’t have this problem. As I said, these guys’ security isn’t exactly up to scratch.



Yay, obligatory Karl Marx quote!  I was wondering when we’d get to that! Chick, if you are going to quote Marx, you should cite your sources; you have enough room for that humongous Bible quote after all. It’s from the introduction to A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, by the way. 5 points says Chick doesn’t know the context and hasn’t actually read it. Hell, even looking the quote up on Wikipedia would be an improvement; it has a page you know.

Anyway, point is that ideas (for Marx) arise out of historical conditions of production; this theory is known as “Historical Materialism”. Henceforth, religions are just another idea that arose out of the historical conditions. “Man makes religion, religion does not make man.” Henceforth, religion needs to be critiqued as an illusion, a shadow of reality.  Religion is transcended by communism. When you have Communism there is simply no need for religion. Here’s Engels on the topic:

Quote from: Friedrich Engels
All religions which have existed hitherto were expressions of historical stages of development of individual peoples or groups of peoples. But communism is that stage of historical development which makes all existing religions superfluous and supersedes them.

(My Emphasis – Taken from A Communist Confession of Faith, 1847. If Jack had have looked this up, he could have had so much fun with that title as well.)

Chick, do you know about anything else that Marx wrote…? No? *slaps Chick round the head with copy of Das Kapital, Vol I.*

In a related issue I have with this tract, here’s Friedrich Engels on revolution.

Quote from: Friedrich Engels
We are convinced not only of the uselessness but even of the harmfulness of all conspiracies. We are also aware that revolutions are not made deliberately and arbitrarily but that everywhere and at all times they are the necessary consequence of circumstances which are not in any way whatever dependent either on the will or on the leadership of individual parties or of whole classes. But we also see that the development of the proletariat in almost all countries of the world is forcibly repressed by the possessing classes and that thus a revolution is being forcibly worked for by the opponents of communism. If, in the end, the oppressed proletariat is thus driven into a revolution, then we will defend the cause of the proletariat just as well by our deeds as now by our words.

(My emphasis; ibid.)

In classical Marxist theory, revolution comes from class not party. You have written a tract about communist revolution without even mentioning the proletariat Jack. Do you know how badly that fails? Do you know how important the proletariat as the universal class (i.e. the representative of humanity) is in Marxist theory? Oh, of course you don’t, because you’re an idiot. Even if these guys just want control and power, they would at least pay lip service to the idea of the proletariat if they are acting in the name of Marx.

You’re the one who brought Marx into the discussion, so I am fully justified in fucking owning you with Marxist quotes.



I love the Comrade thing. This is written in 2010, so Jack doesn’t even have the excuse of the Cold War any more. Hint: Not all Marxists/Communists supported the USSR. Which brings me to a related point: where are these guys getting their funding from? I mean, to carry out a revolution you need cold, hard, bourgeois cash. I doubt that big business is going to be funding their little Commie escapade. Marxism as an ideology does not have enough support in, presumably America, for the funding to come from the masses. And as there’s no USSR, they can’t even take their begging bowl to the Soviets any more. Wait, what am I doing trying to apply logic to a Chick Tract?

Yay the scare words “New World Order”. Wasn’t that what H.W. Bush said the world would be like after the Cold War with ideas such as human rights and humanitarian intervention coming to the fore and replacing US v USSR realpolitik?

Socialism does not work that way. It’s about, economically, putting the means of production back in the hands of the workers; no-one has power over the workers as the capitalists do not exist.* It’s true however that Marxists would generally consider the free market oppressive and unfair. BUT, as a related point though, Marx never actually condemned the free market as unjust, in fact he says the opposite in Das Kapital, despite the whole thing being a critique of capitalism. It’s more interesting to speculate why that is rather than read this crap.
*depends on how broadly we want to define “socialism”; I’m taking a hard-left definition here, as it makes sense in context.

Besides Jack, what you got against fairness and tolerance? Oh no wait this is Jack Chick I’m talking about…



11:25 p.m. is a bit of an arbitrary time.



Police officers aren’t even bourgeois.



Again: Marxists =/= Hippies.



Where are the revolutionists hiding these camps? If they are doing terrorism/guerrilla warfare style-tactics, I highly doubt that they could create and hold detention camps unless they have conquered some area of the country. How did what looks like a tiny band of revolutionaries achieve this aim? Terrorism does not work this way Jack.
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Is this Chick saying Christianity is a delusion? I’m confused.



Love how we get a bit of paranoid “they’re going to take our guns!” thing in here as well.

Hang on, if “The people” are fighting against the revolutionists…who are the revolutionists? I mean, I find it unbelievable that this really powerful group relating to a broadly believed-to-be-discredited ideology can come out of nowhere and exist without at least some support from some of the people somewhere.

Again, no mention of the proletariat, Jack. You fail.

Terrorism does not work this way. Terrorism is a tactic of the weak that attempts to get government to give into its demands by violence, true. But terrorists alone don’t really have enough power to overthrow a government; they create fear, which is supposed to lead to the government giving into its demands. I doubt a government would give in to a terrorist demand to utterly dissolve itself.

Jack, please tell us which nation this is meant to be, thanks.



Foreign mercenaries, okay. But where did they get the cash to pay the mercenaries? Yes I know crime funds terrorist groups. I just have a really hard time believing that a fringe ideology could have enough support to have a terrorist group based around it in modern day America, which I’m presuming that’s where this is set, let alone one that could overthrow the American government with its ridiculous military spending. I’d say this isn’t 1960’s Italy, but I really don’t know as Chick doesn’t tell us.

We’ve had a communist revolution and this is the first fucking mention of class. Finally. Socialism does not work this way Jack. Private property is private ownership of the means of production i.e. Factories, etc. It’s not that hard.



He’s a bit more than “by” the gallows.





Who exactly are these guys going to rule if they’ve killed everyone?



Why don’t these guys at least try to fight back if they’re going to die anyway?
If Chick was going to have the socialist group stab each other in the back, he could have at least had them get in a bitch fight over differences of interpretation of socialism. Marx and Bakunin, Mensheviks and Bolsheviks, Stalin and Trotsky…oh no wait that might require a bit of knowledge of history, but if he’d had done it that way I’d have given him half a point as socialists are well-known for internal bickering.

They die. Hell punt. The End.



What, no message telling me that communism is a religion; Das Kapital is its Bible, etc?

Offline Barbarella

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #38 on: March 26, 2012, 01:39:43 pm »
Tract Title: “The Poor Revolutionist”
Alternate Tract Title: Jack Chick Fails Marxism Forever!

Jack Chick. Communism. A recipe for fail. As Marxism is one interest of mine, (I’m no expert, but I have studied political theory, which is more than can be said for Chick), I’m going to point out the stupidity. May contain some quotes from Marx, Engels etc. Bear in mind that this fail was written in 2010.



Cos all communists look like people who haven’t left the 1960’s. What, no posters of actual communists on the wall? Fidel Castro or Che Guevara or something? Karl Marx? Vladimir Lenin? No? That said, I don’t think I want to see Chick’s attempts at drawing these people. He didn’t even put a hammer and sickle i.e. generic sign for communism 101 on there. Communists are not necessarily the same as hippies, Jack.
Why a peace sign if they are planning a violent revolution…I’m confused.
These guys’ security isn’t exactly very good if they have random fundies bursting in on cell meetings.



And apparently commies also have anger management issues.
And, play acoustic guitar and sing about revolution a lot. Again, I get Hippie vibe rather than Communist Revolutionary vibe. While I can see hippies setting up communes and the like, that’s slightly different from the idea of forcibly overthrowing the government.
Woman with a guitar doesn't exactly scream "hard nosed terrorist" to me, Jack, that's all I'm saying.



People change their beliefs sometimes?



How does this work then? Being “Born Again” isn’t enough to save you if some random fundie decides you aren’t holy enough?



“Christianity has failed”. If by that you mean “fundamentalist Christianity has dragged society back through the ages” than I 100% agree.
Why doesn’t the brother in this scenario just go to the authorities and have these lot arrested? There are plenty of grounds to do so. He could have just spied on the meeting, recorded it and took it to the police and he wouldn’t have this problem. As I said, these guys’ security isn’t exactly up to scratch.



Yay, obligatory Karl Marx quote!  I was wondering when we’d get to that! Chick, if you are going to quote Marx, you should cite your sources; you have enough room for that humongous Bible quote after all. It’s from the introduction to A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, by the way. 5 points says Chick doesn’t know the context and hasn’t actually read it. Hell, even looking the quote up on Wikipedia would be an improvement; it has a page you know.

Anyway, point is that ideas (for Marx) arise out of historical conditions of production; this theory is known as “Historical Materialism”. Henceforth, religions are just another idea that arose out of the historical conditions. “Man makes religion, religion does not make man.” Henceforth, religion needs to be critiqued as an illusion, a shadow of reality.  Religion is transcended by communism. When you have Communism there is simply no need for religion. Here’s Engels on the topic:

Quote from: Friedrich Engels
All religions which have existed hitherto were expressions of historical stages of development of individual peoples or groups of peoples. But communism is that stage of historical development which makes all existing religions superfluous and supersedes them.

(My Emphasis – Taken from A Communist Confession of Faith, 1847. If Jack had have looked this up, he could have had so much fun with that title as well.)

Chick, do you know about anything else that Marx wrote…? No? *slaps Chick round the head with copy of Das Kapital, Vol I.*

In a related issue I have with this tract, here’s Friedrich Engels on revolution.

Quote from: Friedrich Engels
We are convinced not only of the uselessness but even of the harmfulness of all conspiracies. We are also aware that revolutions are not made deliberately and arbitrarily but that everywhere and at all times they are the necessary consequence of circumstances which are not in any way whatever dependent either on the will or on the leadership of individual parties or of whole classes. But we also see that the development of the proletariat in almost all countries of the world is forcibly repressed by the possessing classes and that thus a revolution is being forcibly worked for by the opponents of communism. If, in the end, the oppressed proletariat is thus driven into a revolution, then we will defend the cause of the proletariat just as well by our deeds as now by our words.

(My emphasis; ibid.)

In classical Marxist theory, revolution comes from class not party. You have written a tract about communist revolution without even mentioning the proletariat Jack. Do you know how badly that fails? Do you know how important the proletariat as the universal class (i.e. the representative of humanity) is in Marxist theory? Oh, of course you don’t, because you’re an idiot. Even if these guys just want control and power, they would at least pay lip service to the idea of the proletariat if they are acting in the name of Marx.

You’re the one who brought Marx into the discussion, so I am fully justified in fucking owning you with Marxist quotes.



I love the Comrade thing. This is written in 2010, so Jack doesn’t even have the excuse of the Cold War any more. Hint: Not all Marxists/Communists supported the USSR. Which brings me to a related point: where are these guys getting their funding from? I mean, to carry out a revolution you need cold, hard, bourgeois cash. I doubt that big business is going to be funding their little Commie escapade. Marxism as an ideology does not have enough support in, presumably America, for the funding to come from the masses. And as there’s no USSR, they can’t even take their begging bowl to the Soviets any more. Wait, what am I doing trying to apply logic to a Chick Tract?

Yay the scare words “New World Order”. Wasn’t that what H.W. Bush said the world would be like after the Cold War with ideas such as human rights and humanitarian intervention coming to the fore and replacing US v USSR realpolitik?

Socialism does not work that way. It’s about, economically, putting the means of production back in the hands of the workers; no-one has power over the workers as the capitalists do not exist.* It’s true however that Marxists would generally consider the free market oppressive and unfair. BUT, as a related point though, Marx never actually condemned the free market as unjust, in fact he says the opposite in Das Kapital, despite the whole thing being a critique of capitalism. It’s more interesting to speculate why that is rather than read this crap.
*depends on how broadly we want to define “socialism”; I’m taking a hard-left definition here, as it makes sense in context.

Besides Jack, what you got against fairness and tolerance? Oh no wait this is Jack Chick I’m talking about…



11:25 p.m. is a bit of an arbitrary time.



Police officers aren’t even bourgeois.



Again: Marxists =/= Hippies.



Where are the revolutionists hiding these camps? If they are doing terrorism/guerrilla warfare style-tactics, I highly doubt that they could create and hold detention camps unless they have conquered some area of the country. How did what looks like a tiny band of revolutionaries achieve this aim? Terrorism does not work this way Jack.
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Is this Chick saying Christianity is a delusion? I’m confused.



Love how we get a bit of paranoid “they’re going to take our guns!” thing in here as well.

Hang on, if “The people” are fighting against the revolutionists…who are the revolutionists? I mean, I find it unbelievable that this really powerful group relating to a broadly believed-to-be-discredited ideology can come out of nowhere and exist without at least some support from some of the people somewhere.

Again, no mention of the proletariat, Jack. You fail.

Terrorism does not work this way. Terrorism is a tactic of the weak that attempts to get government to give into its demands by violence, true. But terrorists alone don’t really have enough power to overthrow a government; they create fear, which is supposed to lead to the government giving into its demands. I doubt a government would give in to a terrorist demand to utterly dissolve itself.

Jack, please tell us which nation this is meant to be, thanks.



Foreign mercenaries, okay. But where did they get the cash to pay the mercenaries? Yes I know crime funds terrorist groups. I just have a really hard time believing that a fringe ideology could have enough support to have a terrorist group based around it in modern day America, which I’m presuming that’s where this is set, let alone one that could overthrow the American government with its ridiculous military spending. I’d say this isn’t 1960’s Italy, but I really don’t know as Chick doesn’t tell us.

We’ve had a communist revolution and this is the first fucking mention of class. Finally. Socialism does not work this way Jack. Private property is private ownership of the means of production i.e. Factories, etc. It’s not that hard.



He’s a bit more than “by” the gallows.





Who exactly are these guys going to rule if they’ve killed everyone?



Why don’t these guys at least try to fight back if they’re going to die anyway?
If Chick was going to have the socialist group stab each other in the back, he could have at least had them get in a bitch fight over differences of interpretation of socialism. Marx and Bakunin, Mensheviks and Bolsheviks, Stalin and Trotsky…oh no wait that might require a bit of knowledge of history, but if he’d had done it that way I’d have given him half a point as socialists are well-known for internal bickering.

They die. Hell punt. The End.



What, no message telling me that communism is a religion; Das Kapital is its Bible, etc?

Did you notice that Comrade Gregory has a clerical collar in the last panel he's in? So Chick's not only making this anti-Communism but anti-Catholic (considering his track record, Gregory's a Catholic priest).  The Vatican may be a bunch of goobers but THERE'S NO WORLD DOMINATION CONSPIRACY!

All in all, Chick's a jerk.

Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #39 on: March 26, 2012, 02:29:17 pm »
Please don't quote the reviews D: You can just use an @Username or something similar to that to say who you're talking to.
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Offline myusername

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2012, 03:33:48 pm »
@ Spuki Kitty: True. Which makes the guy going on about how religion is the opium of the masses sound even more stupid if he's following a Catholic priest XD

Offline Quasirodent

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2012, 04:21:51 pm »
I'm interested in reading these but the strip graphics aren't coming up.  Other inserted graphics are fine, just the tract pages seem to be missing.  Any ideas?
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Offline myusername

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #42 on: March 26, 2012, 04:32:50 pm »
Some of them show up for me and some don't. I kind of had 2 tabs open one with the tracts and one with the sporking, and did it that way. A bit awkward, but...

Offline Osama bin Bambi

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #43 on: March 26, 2012, 04:35:49 pm »
Yeah, I'm having the same problem too. I checked all the pictures I put into the "Where's Rabbi Waxman?" roast, but all the image tags appear to be formed correctly. I've had problems with posting some pictures from my computer in the past.

None of "The Poor Revolutionist", and only part of "Where's Rabbi Waxman?" is showing up for me. Everything else I can view in its entirety. What gives?
« Last Edit: March 26, 2012, 04:37:38 pm by Wykked Wytch »
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Offline ironbite

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Re: Let's Roast Jack Chick!
« Reply #44 on: March 26, 2012, 04:51:30 pm »
I think they might be getting axed from Jack's website if they're linked from there directly.

Ironbite-maybe.