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Author Topic: Obama Once Teleported to Mars  (Read 10840 times)

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Offline Rabbit of Caerbannog

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Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« on: January 06, 2012, 10:57:02 am »
According to the conspiracy nuts at Exopolitics that is. Apparently President Obama during the 1980s, and under the handle of Barry Soetoro, once teleported to the red planet via "jump room" with other volunteers and his entire presidency is a ruse to cover it up. Or something. Try reading the article, it truly is astounding:
http://exopolitics.blogs.com/exopolitics/2011/11/mars-visitors-basiago-and-stillings-confirm-barack-obama-traveled-to-mars-1.html

I would've submitted it to CTSTDT but someone beat me to it. Still, I really hope it makes the cut.
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Offline ironbite

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2012, 11:08:36 am »
...wait what?

Ironbite-no seriously...what?
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2012, 11:12:02 am »
I also heard he threw an excersize ball filled with custard at an old lady in a spruce tree some time betweens the months of June, 1976 and April, 1994. As such it is clear from the fact that he didn't upload it to Youtube that he is not qualified to be a taxi driver, and thus his current dog ownership is merely a shallow and pedantic attempt to cover it up.
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Offline Rabbit of Caerbannog

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2012, 11:21:14 am »
Quote from: ironbite on January 06, 2012, 11:08:36 am
...wait what?

Ironbite-no seriously...what?
I know, they've officially made WND look sane by comparison.
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Offline The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2012, 11:31:42 am »
Well that's... original.
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Offline GLaDOS

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2012, 01:44:08 pm »
That's ridiculous! Everybody knows that the only two groups with the technology to do that are Black Mesa and Aperture Science, and that list is just about to be reduced by one if everything goes according to plan.
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Offline anti-nonsense

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2012, 01:48:25 pm »
wuh?
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2012, 01:51:21 pm »
What the FUCK?

I was sure the title of this thread was supposed to be an unrelated attention-getter or sarcasm, but someone actually believes this?

Seriously, what the fuck.
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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2012, 02:05:17 pm »
And once he was there, did he go to Pigfarts and ride on Rumbleroar's back?
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Offline Meshakhad

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2012, 04:39:14 pm »
I just read the whole thing. Leaving aside Obama's supposed involvement, they claim that since 1980, the US has had THOUSANDS of people teleport to Mars, with most not surviving. They also claim that there are many dangerous predators on Mars.
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Offline Jack Mann

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2012, 05:23:03 pm »
Disbelief aside, I would watch the hell out of a show based on this.
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2012, 05:37:46 pm »
Quote from: Jack Mann on January 06, 2012, 05:23:03 pm
Disbelief aside, I would watch the hell out of a show based on this.
Fuck yes.

Also: Here's wikipedia on the author. They seem to forget to mention he is conspiracy theorist who believes Earth has time-travel and teleportation technology , which leads me to believe the article was written by a fan.
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Offline Oriet

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2012, 06:34:29 pm »
He should have taken the easier option and gone whaling on the moon. Moon blubber!
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Offline Sixth Monarchist

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2012, 06:49:26 pm »
Quote from: Smurfette Principle on January 06, 2012, 02:05:17 pm
And once he was there, did he go to Pigfarts and ride on Rumbleroar's back?

No. Instead he travelled around the place on a giant golden clock-like vehicle, contemplated his disaffection with humanity, then had an epiphany regarding the miracles of life and realised that he was fated to at least postpone global nuclear war, upon which he returned to Earth.
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Offline ironbite

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Re: Obama Once Teleported to Mars
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2012, 06:54:57 pm »
Quote from: Oriet on January 06, 2012, 06:34:29 pm
He should have taken the easier option and gone whaling on the moon. Moon blubber!

Would've solved the energy crisis.
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