Author Topic: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly  (Read 13438 times)

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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #45 on: July 10, 2012, 06:27:19 am »
You play as nine guys who try to shoot at each other also Australia has something to do with everything also....hats that is all

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Offline e13

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #46 on: July 10, 2012, 09:11:02 am »
You're building a wall, and some asshole keeps knocking it down. Sometimes you only have to put up with it for, like, five minutes tops. Other times, you have to wait until your wall exceeds safety limits in height and the government makes you take it down. It's really a lesson in bureaucracy and destruction of property.

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« Last Edit: July 10, 2012, 09:13:03 am by e13 »

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Offline SpaceProg

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #47 on: July 10, 2012, 09:33:55 am »
Meh, that's Russia for you.

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #48 on: July 10, 2012, 09:38:35 am »
You're pretty much a tiny maid for a middle-class family with severe issues. Also, there are talking toys.

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Offline Mrs Scratchitt

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #49 on: July 24, 2012, 03:19:23 am »
You're a sort of human Barbie take-off who scavenges (sometimes very expensive) weapons and ammunition that have inexplicably been left lying about by other people, sometimes in places where presumably no human being has been for centuries.

You get to shoot plenty of rare animals from the top of a variety of food chains, plus quite a lot of dinosaurs, but you never get to put one in your tiny, tiny rucksack that incidentally, appears to be bottomless if the number of medical packs you put in it are anything to go by. Because showing a fresh dinosaur carcass to the scientific community just wouldn't be right, would it?

Instead of wowing the scientific community there's magic things for you to discover, because ancient artefacts on their own wouldn't be awesome enough - they have to be infused with crazy voodoo by the game-designers to make them awesome. This particular element of the game could be described as an allegory for religious fundies (ooh, it would suck for there not to be a god, etc.) Fairies at the bottom of the garden and all that.

You can also push and pull solid stone blocks many times your own weight and with no handles, outrun T-rexes and other shit.

And why are there so many medical packs lying around? And apparently all with the contents within their use by date?

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Offline StallChaser

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #50 on: July 24, 2012, 07:57:21 am »
Your parents and all your friends are getting turned into demons, but you're somehow the only unaffected human.  You go after the boss demon that's doing it and end up kidnapping his daughter.  You fall in love with her, beat up the boss demon (her dad), and nothing happens.  Because she's the actual boss demon, and you're also a demon. 

Throughout the game, a character's strength seems to be inversely proportional to their muscle size.

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Offline SpaceProg

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #51 on: July 24, 2012, 12:29:26 pm »
You go around the world engaging in a cutesy and non-lethal form of dog-fighting.

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Offline Vypernight

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #52 on: July 28, 2012, 03:31:24 pm »
You are a barrel of water, catching bombs that some idiot keeps dropping.

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You are driving a VERY SLOW car, in a straight line, for miles and miles.  If you hit a rock, you die.  If you hit a pothole, you die.

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Whenever I hear a politician speaking strongly for or against abortion, all I hear is, "I have no idea how to fix the economy!"

Offline largeham

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #53 on: July 29, 2012, 03:57:00 am »
You are on a planet with few friends, everything trying to kill you and way too many guns. One of your only friends looks like a fatter version of Stalin. In the end you fight Cthulu.

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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #54 on: July 30, 2012, 10:52:22 pm »
You wake up in the bathroom without no memory but many ways to commit suicide.  Also, you might just run into muggers that wanna totally fuck up your day and smelly-ass bums.

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Offline Witchyjoshy

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #55 on: July 30, 2012, 11:13:22 pm »
Because my mood is shifted, I get to contribute again.

You play as a bunch of woodland furry creatures in a Star Wars rip off fighting against a giant floating head with hands.

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Offline StallChaser

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #56 on: July 31, 2012, 09:48:30 am »
You're a robot that shoots a bunch of things on a floating island.  You repeatedly beat the crap out of a robotic suitcase for great lulz, kill a doctor, and a possible uber boss with a name that suggests he's a giant ball, which he actually turns out to be.

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Offline Smurfette Principle

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #57 on: July 31, 2012, 10:19:28 am »
You are a conductor on an Underground Railroad of sorts. You suck at it and most of your charges die. The few who survive do so largely because of the sacrifices of others, not because of your skill. Also, social commentary.

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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #58 on: August 01, 2012, 01:15:34 pm »
You run away from home only to eventually wind up in an insane asylum.

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Offline Vypernight

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Re: Describe Your Favorite Game Poorly
« Reply #59 on: August 01, 2012, 03:24:01 pm »
You nearly break your neck trying to save some lost balloons for some little #^#@^^## brast!

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Whenever I hear a politician speaking strongly for or against abortion, all I hear is, "I have no idea how to fix the economy!"