Stories from Life

[TheL]

This one is a bit risque.  If you're at work, you may want to scroll down past this post.

So, I was talking to my boyfriend...

Me: "You're so sweet."
Jay: "Well, of course!  You have sex with me!"
Me: "*laughing* You're terrible!"
Jay: "That's not what you said last night."
Me: "Okay, now you're just digging yourself deeper." ... "Like you did last night."
Jay: "I wasn't going to say that one."

So yeah.  We make weird sex jokes.  In a public restaurant.  After spending over 3 hours in an early-voting line.

[Jebediah]

Imagine all of the annoying people you have ever met in your entire life. Now combine them into one person. You have now imagined this woman in my class. It’s completely ridiculous. Not even the instructors can hide how they feel about her.

So we were in our lab the other day, practicing some skills. I talked to her for about five minutes (about how she likes to tell people that Jesus loves them) and then I started practicing.

About twenty minutes later, I heard her saying, “We are in nursing school to learn, not to attack people.” She said this three or so times, and then I turned around to see what she was talking about and she was staring directly at me.

Directly at me.

And she repeated herself again. “We are in nursing school to learn, not to attack people.”

Jeb: Yes. Who’s being attacked?
Girl: I heard what you said.
Jeb: I said something?
Girl: You said, “That girl’s got issues.”
Jeb: No I didn’t.
Girl: Yes you did, I heard you.

And then she turned away from me and went back to her work, but the entire time she was saying things like, “Some people are so rude.” “This is not why we’re in school.” “She thinks I have issues? SHE has issues.” “I just can’t believe some people.”

And then, about ten minutes later, she stormed out of the classroom.

[Witchyjoshy]

You must have been thinking about it.

Very loudly.

Or she knows she has issues and projected it onto you.  That's certainly a story from life.

Sadly, my life is completely devoid of anything worth telling.  I could tell you about the day I moped or the day I played a game or the day I... moped again, but really, it's not worth it.

[rookie]

A conversation between me and my 4 year old daughter after seeing the devastation in New Jersey on the news.

Her: Is that what New Jersey looks like right now?
Me: Yes it is, sweety.
H: I want to help them.
M: That's very kind. Do you want to collect food and clothes for them? Or get together some toys for the kids who lost all of theirs?
H: No. I want to build houses for the people who's got knocked down by the hurricane. Can I borrow your tools and can you drive me to New Jersey so I can build them houses?
M: I'm sorry, but you can't. You need to be much bigger. And you need to know how to build houses.
H: Then I'm going to go to school so I can learn how to make houses that a hurricane can't knock down!

Sometimes my kids make me want to pull out my hair. And other times they make me feel like I'm doing something right as a parent.

[Jebediah]

Kids are awesome.

Today, I was playing Candyland with my niece. At one point, I was on a blue space, and she pulled a blue card. She was supposed to land on the blue space behind mine, but she put her piece on my space. I told her she was supposed to be on a different blue, and she said, "But I want to be with you. That's my favorite thing to do." So I let her stay.

 

[Art Vandelay]

Kids are awesome.

If by "awesome", you mean "insufferable", then yes, yes they are.

[Hades]

Kids are awesome.

Today, I was playing Candyland with my niece. At one point, I was on a blue space, and she pulled a blue card. She was supposed to land on the blue space behind mine, but she put her piece on my space. I told her she was supposed to be on a different blue, and she said, "But I want to be with you. That's my favorite thing to do." So I let her stay.

 

That's the cutest thing I've ever heard.

[Jebediah]

Kids are awesome.

If by "awesome", you mean "insufferable", then yes, yes they are.

Sometimes that is true, yes.

Kids are awesome.

Today, I was playing Candyland with my niece. At one point, I was on a blue space, and she pulled a blue card. She was supposed to land on the blue space behind mine, but she put her piece on my space. I told her she was supposed to be on a different blue, and she said, "But I want to be with you. That's my favorite thing to do." So I let her stay.

 

That's the cutest thing I've ever heard.

I know!

But then it was a bit less cute when I later told her to stop kicking the trashcan and she told me kicking the trashcan is her favorite thing.

[ThunderWulf]

A conversation between me and my 4 year old daughter after seeing the devastation in New Jersey on the news.

Her: Is that what New Jersey looks like right now?
Me: Yes it is, sweety.
H: I want to help them.
M: That's very kind. Do you want to collect food and clothes for them? Or get together some toys for the kids who lost all of theirs?
H: No. I want to build houses for the people who's got knocked down by the hurricane. Can I borrow your tools and can you drive me to New Jersey so I can build them houses?
M: I'm sorry, but you can't. You need to be much bigger. And you need to know how to build houses.
H: Then I'm going to go to school so I can learn how to make houses that a hurricane can't knock down!

Sometimes my kids make me want to pull out my hair. And other times they make me feel like I'm doing something right as a parent.

Sounds like you DEFINITELY are doing something right Rookie!

[SpaceProg]

H: No. I want to build houses for the people who's got knocked down by the hurricane. Can I borrow your tools and can you drive me to New Jersey so I can build them houses?
M: I'm sorry, but you can't. You need to be much bigger. And you need to know how to build houses.
H: Then I'm going to go to school so I can learn how to make houses that a hurricane can't knock down!

And you know... She just might.

Thanks for being a good father to your kids, Rookie.

[Vypernight]

Raise your hand if you ever caused an explosion in Chemistry class.  Wait, let me amend that.  Raise your hand if you ever caused an UNINTENDED explosion in Chemistry class.

*Raises hand*

All I had to do was watch the little beaker while it heated, then remove it from the burner after a certain time.  Instead, I got a rare bout of self-confidence and started talking to a girl at the station next to mine.  Next thing I know, the bottom of the beaker exploded, and it flew across the room, smashing into the far wall.  a 3 hour experiment, gone in a matter of seconds.

Oops.

[chad sexington]

I'm sure Deimos could top that

[Zygarde]

This happened yesterday but while I was walking home from school a monarch butterfly followed me home i named it Merry.

[Søren]

I'm sure Deimos could top that

Hoo boy. My chemistry classes have been world's of mental

There was the time I made a minor explosive out of a whole heap of random chemicals they gave us. The time someone lined my beaker with reactive compounds to blow my hand off, which nearly succeeded. The time i lined a sledgehammer with a contact explosive and bashed it on the ground, making me fly a meter or two. And a bunch of other fun stories that involve things going boom, burning, or getting injured in the most fucked up ways

[rookie]

H: No. I want to build houses for the people who's got knocked down by the hurricane. Can I borrow your tools and can you drive me to New Jersey so I can build them houses?
M: I'm sorry, but you can't. You need to be much bigger. And you need to know how to build houses.
H: Then I'm going to go to school so I can learn how to make houses that a hurricane can't knock down!

And you know... She just might.

Someone's gotta be the first, right?