« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 35 36 [37] 38 39 ... 184   Go Down

Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 593668 times)

0 Members and 6 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline jumpingjackflash

  • Agent Swears-A-Lot Peashooter
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 469
  • Gender: Male
  • Burn, baby, burn!
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #540 on: March 19, 2012, 12:33:56 am »
Granted. Here's your reference.

I wish I had the perfect bedroom.
Logged
Quote from: Art Vandelay on May 19, 2012, 11:18:14 pm
Ok seriously, is nobody even going to try and avenge my man-burrito?

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #541 on: March 19, 2012, 03:53:49 am »
Granted, but your living room is covered in dog turds, there's a dead cat in your bathroom and your kitchen has been turned into a crack den.

I wish I was objectively better than everyone else.
Logged

Offline Jack Bauer

  • Poetic Badass
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
  • Gender: Male
  • On Craggy Island, under deep cover.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #542 on: March 19, 2012, 07:27:19 am »
Granted, but, subjectively, you are at the bottom of the pile. Incidentally, everyone hates you.

I wish I was not addicted to Mass Effect 3.
Logged
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline e13

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Gender: Male
  • Fabulousity is at 100%!
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #543 on: March 19, 2012, 12:14:56 pm »
Quote from: Jack Bauer on March 19, 2012, 07:27:19 am
Granted, but, subjectively, you are at the bottom of the pile. Incidentally, everyone hates you.

I wish I was not addicted to Mass Effect 3.
Granted. You see the end and file a complaint with the FTC, thus ensuring no one ever takes you seriously again.

I wish, I wish, to use this rhyme, to go back home until next time.
Logged

Just Having Some Tea, Hanging With My Friends...

Offline Jack Bauer

  • Poetic Badass
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
  • Gender: Male
  • On Craggy Island, under deep cover.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #544 on: March 19, 2012, 01:11:36 pm »
Granted, granted, as you said
You are now back in the old homestead
But at night, mutant zombies attack.
I bet you wish you'd never gone back!

I wish for an ointment, the topical application of which cures all ills.
Logged
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline Meshakhad

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2205
  • Gender: Male
  • The Night Is Dark And Full Of Terrors... Like Me
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #545 on: March 19, 2012, 04:01:58 pm »
Quote from: Jack Bauer on March 19, 2012, 01:11:36 pm
Granted, granted, as you said
You are now back in the old homestead
But at night, mutant zombies attack.
I bet you wish you'd never gone back!

I wish for an ointment, the topical application of which cures all ills.

Granted. It cures all ills, including love. You become a bitter old man, unable to care for anyone.

I wish this song was available on iTunes for $0.99.
Logged
G-d's Kingdom Is A Hate-Free Zone

Quote from: Reploid Productions
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

Quote from: Meshakhad
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!

Offline Jack Bauer

  • Poetic Badass
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
  • Gender: Male
  • On Craggy Island, under deep cover.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #546 on: March 20, 2012, 03:49:19 am »
Granted - but it's the Weird Al version.

I wish for ear bud headphones that actually stay in my ears.
Logged
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Offline Her3tiK

  • Suffers in Sanity
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 1940
  • Gender: Male
  • Learn to Swim
    • HeretiK Productions
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #547 on: March 20, 2012, 09:58:36 am »
They're now stapled to the side of your head.

I wish I had a better bass amp.
Logged
Quote from: TheL on February 27, 2012, 03:10:27 pm
Her3tik, you have groupies.
Ego: +5

Quote from: Art Vandelay on June 23, 2013, 01:32:54 am
There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.

Offline Meshakhad

  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 2205
  • Gender: Male
  • The Night Is Dark And Full Of Terrors... Like Me
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #548 on: March 26, 2012, 02:20:54 am »
Granted. You turn it on, and it's so powerful and awesome, it disintegrates your skeleton.

I wish we actually had a really good President and a Congress that could work together.
Logged
G-d's Kingdom Is A Hate-Free Zone

Quote from: Reploid Productions
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.

Quote from: Meshakhad
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #549 on: March 26, 2012, 02:25:30 am »
Granted, but another world economic crash takes place and the average American dumbfuck blames the current, competent government, resulting in the president being impeached for something completely trivial and the teabaggers winning by a landslide in the following election.

I wish for some chicken and chips.
Logged

Offline Jack Bauer

  • Poetic Badass
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
  • Gender: Male
  • On Craggy Island, under deep cover.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #550 on: March 26, 2012, 03:32:31 am »
Granted - but the chicken is just an unfertilised yolk sac and the chips are chips of granite.

I wish for a third dragon tattoo.
Logged
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #551 on: March 26, 2012, 09:03:36 am »
Granted, it'll soon be tattooed to the inside of your scrotum. Whether you're willing or not. Without any unaesthetic.

I wish it didn't take me several hours to fall asleep.
Logged

Offline Sleepy

  • Fuck Yes Sunshine In a Bag
  • The Beast
  • *****
  • Posts: 4598
  • Gender: Female
  • Danger zone
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #552 on: March 26, 2012, 09:23:22 am »
Granted, it takes you several hours to climb out of bed once you wake up.

I wish for a perfect state of warmth.
Logged
Quote from: lord gibbon on January 11, 2016, 12:42:28 am
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Art Vandelay

  • Guest
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #553 on: March 26, 2012, 09:38:22 am »
Granted, you are kept nice and warm with a fire made from the live bodies of your loved ones.

I wish people didn't piss me off as much.
Logged

Offline Jack Bauer

  • Poetic Badass
  • Pope
  • ****
  • Posts: 448
  • Gender: Male
  • On Craggy Island, under deep cover.
Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #554 on: March 27, 2012, 03:01:02 am »
Granted. People no longer piss you off. They now spend time dumping their shit on you.

I wish people didn't dump their shit on me.
Logged
Part wolf, part pirate.



“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”   -  Albert Einstein.
Pages: 1 ... 35 36 [37] 38 39 ... 184   Go Up
« previous next »