Author Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic  (Read 371828 times)

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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #195 on: January 23, 2012, 07:58:37 pm »
Hey, don't give up on it.  You might come up with something we haven't seen, eventually.  Right now... there's at least five 'rainboom fails' fics I can think of on EqD off the top of my head.

Thanks.  I suppose the mark of a writer is coming up with something fresh, whether it's an original fic idea, or a familiar fic idea written in a new and exciting direction.

Oh, and I'm thinking of changing my profile pic to what (currently) an unfinished version of the story's art (uncolored, rough sketch).  I didn't draw it, but a friend in my state's brony group did.

Hell with it.  Why not?
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Offline TheL

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #196 on: January 23, 2012, 09:33:52 pm »
So I just axed the homophobia part in favor of Pinkie Pie having doubts about being worthy of Rarity's love.  Rarity then basically reveals that if fate hadn't stepped in to solidify her fashionista career, she was considering becoming a chef, and as such, she envies Pinkie somewhat.  She still loves her fashonista business, but she has a "what could have been" feeling about her path in life.

In short, she talks about how amazing she thinks Pinkie is for being able to do something she once considered.  Yeah, my explanation may sound a bit muddy.  I know.  I just wanted to let you guys know what I tried changing things to.

I'm getting another editor to read through it right now. :D

That could work really well, especially with the breakfast scenes in "Sisterhooves Social" to draw from.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #197 on: January 23, 2012, 09:38:16 pm »
So I just axed the homophobia part in favor of Pinkie Pie having doubts about being worthy of Rarity's love.  Rarity then basically reveals that if fate hadn't stepped in to solidify her fashionista career, she was considering becoming a chef, and as such, she envies Pinkie somewhat.  She still loves her fashonista business, but she has a "what could have been" feeling about her path in life.

In short, she talks about how amazing she thinks Pinkie is for being able to do something she once considered.  Yeah, my explanation may sound a bit muddy.  I know.  I just wanted to let you guys know what I tried changing things to.

I'm getting another editor to read through it right now. :D

That could work really well, especially with the breakfast scenes in "Sisterhooves Social" to draw from.

That's what I was kinda thinking, actually.  I didn't specifically reference the episode, but she does mention breakfast, and making it.
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Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #198 on: January 24, 2012, 12:10:46 am »
i love how this is one of the longest topics on the entire forum~  Yay, ponies.
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #199 on: January 24, 2012, 12:24:30 am »
i love how this is one of the longest topics on the entire forum~  Yay, ponies.

Expect it to grow longer.  I...haven't made many posts in other topics on this particular board, and I think the others were in that "Heresy" thread.

I have 48 posts in this board - this will make it 49 - and this is my top posting board as a result. XD  Hell, even my activity in this board is the highest at 5.37% of my time!

P.S.  What do you think of my Raripie pic that a friend from a brony group made?  I mean, it has yet to be colored, but you can still kinda see it okay. XD
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 12:26:48 am by B-Man »
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #200 on: January 24, 2012, 12:32:55 am »
i love how this is one of the longest topics on the entire forum~  Yay, ponies.
That's because ponies are awesome and Friendship is really Magic... ;D

Offline DarkfireTaimatsu

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #201 on: January 24, 2012, 12:44:39 am »
i love how this is one of the longest topics on the entire forum~  Yay, ponies.
That's because ponies are awesome and Friendship is really Magic... ;D

This is entirely true.
A limerick:

There once was a unicorn who would shove
His rainbows around like a dove
"Always I'll be with you
And then make-believe with you
Harmony, Harmony, oh love"

Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #202 on: January 24, 2012, 02:23:46 am »
So my fic went through a second edit session, and even further changes were made.  I'm gonna review the unresolved comments and mark them off one by one, and then I'm ready for primetime. :)

Wow.  Getting editing advice has once again added to my word count, and in an awesomely positive way.  I now have 2673 2677 words of content.  There's only two unresolved comments right now.  One is a rewording of a brief mention of Lyra and Bon Bon, and the other is a strikethrough.  I'm done editing it, and now it's time for prereaders.

Priestling, I sent something to your e-mail.  I also have my editor reading it as more of a general reader, so he can get the whole sense of the flow, instead of getting too stuck on details.  You both can comment on stuff that interrupts the flow or raises questions and all that.

I...am going to submit it to EqD officially anyway, but I thought I'd let you know. :D

Well, actually.  Shit.  I gotta include all that meta shit anyway.  I just remembered that.  Good thing I didn't fire off the e-mail to Seth et. al. yet.

Note:  The short link wasn't working for the EqD submit staff, so it may not work for you.  That's fine.  I sent them the full link after I found this out, so you can have that along with all that other important submitter data, Priestling!  When he's trying to find prereaders, I'm sure a Raripie fic will stand out, so there's that.  Ehehehe.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 10:03:10 am by B-Man »
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Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #203 on: January 24, 2012, 01:27:24 pm »
Word count's feasible, you leave the detail work to we pre-readers.

And I may bow out of pre-reading it, as I've been helping you (therefore bias), so somepony else will probably pick it up.  Shipping... probably Snarkle, Mech, Hidden... possibly Cray.  Kits won't touch it, since his OTP is Pinkiedash...
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #204 on: January 24, 2012, 01:29:07 pm »
Word count's feasible, you leave the detail work to we pre-readers.

And I may bow out of pre-reading it, as I've been helping you (therefore bias), so somepony else will probably pick it up.  Shipping... probably Snarkle, Mech, Hidden... possibly Cray.  Kits won't touch it, since his OTP is Pinkiedash...

Yeah, that's cool.  Heh.  If/when it passes snuff, you can read it just like everypony else on EqD. :D

Edit:  Oh hell yes!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPbhQwjiRps" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPbhQwjiRps</a>
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 01:44:33 pm by B-Man »
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Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #205 on: January 24, 2012, 01:51:36 pm »
Straight from the pre-reader IRC, lucky pony! Siraj is yours truly, kits is one of our legendary pre-readers.

[13:37] <~Siraj> ... anypony taken a look at 'New Horizons' in the queue?
[13:40] <~Siraj> I really tried to help him... but it looks like it desperately needs a ponychan and the omnibus, doesn't it?
[13:43] <@kits[work]> i'll look real quick
[13:44] <@kits[work]> yeah
[13:44] <@kits[work]> um
[13:44] <@kits[work]> does this go into history?
[13:44] <@kits[work]> like a nice flashback?
[13:45] <~Siraj> the fic? nope
[13:45] <@kits[work]> yeah. this is pretty much not suitable as it's own story ATM
[13:46] <@kits[work]> if this was the CONCLUSION of a story line following these two through several days/episodes with some build up, it could work
[13:46] <@kits[work]> Like, show Pinkie falling for Rarity
[13:47] <@kits[work]> As it stands now, it's suddenly PinkieKisses (not a bad thing, just not EqD-able)
[13:47] <@kits[work]> the OTHER thing that couls be done
[13:48] <@kits[work]> is to flash FORWARD and make this the 'beginning of the relationship scene'
[13:48] <@kits[work]> and show their relationship in a slice-of-lifey manner
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #206 on: January 24, 2012, 02:02:46 pm »
Straight from the pre-reader IRC, lucky pony! Siraj is yours truly, kits is one of our legendary pre-readers.

[13:37] <~Siraj> ... anypony taken a look at 'New Horizons' in the queue?
[13:40] <~Siraj> I really tried to help him... but it looks like it desperately needs a ponychan and the omnibus, doesn't it?
[13:43] <@kits[work]> i'll look real quick
[13:44] <@kits[work]> yeah
[13:44] <@kits[work]> um
[13:44] <@kits[work]> does this go into history?
[13:44] <@kits[work]> like a nice flashback?
[13:45] <~Siraj> the fic? nope
[13:45] <@kits[work]> yeah. this is pretty much not suitable as it's own story ATM
[13:46] <@kits[work]> if this was the CONCLUSION of a story line following these two through several days/episodes with some build up, it could work
[13:46] <@kits[work]> Like, show Pinkie falling for Rarity
[13:47] <@kits[work]> As it stands now, it's suddenly PinkieKisses (not a bad thing, just not EqD-able)
[13:47] <@kits[work]> the OTHER thing that couls be done
[13:48] <@kits[work]> is to flash FORWARD and make this the 'beginning of the relationship scene'
[13:48] <@kits[work]> and show their relationship in a slice-of-lifey manner

So if I'm understanding this correctly, they'd like my story to expand beyond a one part story, perhaps?  I sure the hell don't want to tear apart and rebuild what I've already written just to make this into a story that builds up or does a slice of life bit.

If I need to change the original document itself, that's fine.  I don't want to, but I'll pony up [pun totally intended] and manage.  What I'm getting from the transcript is that I need to flat out expand it, and that may require a second document.

Also, I'm curious if he actually read it.  According to Google Docs, I was the last one to actually look at it, and that was at 4:06 AM CST.  I'm not saying that reading it will automatically make him love it or change his opinion, but such a thing would be appreciated.

Also, I have a bit of a related question.  DO fanfics made my prereaders have to go through prereading, and if they do, how do you handle that.  You clearly are all familiar with each other, or mostly so, so how can you review a story without bias?  Who do the prereaders go to if they need a story preread?
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 02:22:10 pm by B-Man »
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Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #207 on: January 24, 2012, 02:38:17 pm »
okay, in order...

1.  Yes, expand on it.  It moves too quickly, and it's what we call a 'February fic', that is "I have a crush on somepony but I can't tell them and then when I tell them it's requitted so it's all okay now".

2.  You don't HAVE to craft a second document.  We've gotten 6 and 7 K stories, all the way up to 23 K before.  A couple thousand more words might make all the difference.

3.  Kits read it, I read it, and a couple of the others took a peek.  Generally, we skim, unless the story draws us in, or we see something on the skim that makes us stop and go "wait, this needs to be fixed."

4.  As pre-readers, we DO have auto-post privileges.  Here's the funny thing though:  None of us have EVER used them.  We hold each other to a higher standard.  One of our guys went through 48 revisions of his first chapter alone, and had scrapped it twice, before it was post-worthy.  We will buck the hay out of each other's work to make damn sure it's GOOD work.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #208 on: January 24, 2012, 02:42:02 pm »
okay, in order...

1.  Yes, expand on it.  It moves too quickly, and it's what we call a 'February fic', that is "I have a crush on somepony but I can't tell them and then when I tell them it's requitted so it's all okay now".

2.  You don't HAVE to craft a second document.  We've gotten 6 and 7 K stories, all the way up to 23 K before.  A couple thousand more words might make all the difference.

3.  Kits read it, I read it, and a couple of the others took a peek.  Generally, we skim, unless the story draws us in, or we see something on the skim that makes us stop and go "wait, this needs to be fixed."

4.  As pre-readers, we DO have auto-post privileges.  Here's the funny thing though:  None of us have EVER used them.  We hold each other to a higher standard.  One of our guys went through 48 revisions of his first chapter alone, and had scrapped it twice, before it was post-worthy.  We will buck the hay out of each other's work to make damn sure it's GOOD work.

Ah.  Thanks for the clarifications.  So as I understand it, there's nothing that inherently needs to be "fixed," save for the story being too damned abrupt?  That's what I'm getting from this whole thing.  That's cool.  Hey, nopony ever said the big ticket of EqD with the crapton of pageviews it gets daily would be easy. :P

Hell, I kinda even went over the omnibus a little last night, and it says flat out that getting onto EqD isn't easy. XD

Also, since I gave general permissions on the story, does that mean that I won't see who has opened it unless I either explicitly give them permissions or they...comment or something?  As I understand it, that would be the case that makes the most sense.

Oh yeah.  I want you to give my regards to the other prereaders.  You guys are awesome.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 02:45:51 pm by B-Man »
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Offline Cerim Treascair

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Re: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
« Reply #209 on: January 24, 2012, 02:59:46 pm »
Yeah, just build on what you have.  It's too short and too fast, really, that's about your only issue as it stands.

vital suggestion:  change the permissions to 'anyone that has the link'.  We've had trolls previously pop into stories and nuke 78 pages of work over the last two months while the author was asleep or away from the computer.

We don't comment on fics except when we're doing something funny amongst ourselves.  We do all our discussion in the IRC and e-mail threads.

Will do and have done.  They now have warm fuzzies.
There is light and darkness in the world, to be sure.  However, there's no harm to be had in walking in the shade or shadows.

Formerly Priestling

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