Author Topic: How White are you?  (Read 15624 times)

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Offline Mantorok

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #30 on: February 02, 2012, 05:45:54 am »
Apparently I'm not American enough to be white.

Offline Shane for Wax

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #31 on: February 02, 2012, 06:38:04 am »
Fine, I'll do this silly thing...
Numbers do not correspond to the questions:
1) How does Transformers make me white?
2)  Have you ever participated in a parade that did not involve global warming, gay rights, or a war protest? <-- Yes. I was in the motherfeckin' band. Does this make me white?
3) Since leaving school, have you worn a uniform as part of your job? <-- No. I wore one while I was in school.
4) Did you or your spouse ever serve in the armed forces? <-- This makes a person white?
5) Did you grow up in a family in which the chief breadwinner was not in a managerial position or high-prestige occupation (defined as dentist, physician, architect, attorney, engineer, scientist, or college professor)?  <-- uhhh... my dad managed rockets. Does that count? Whatever.
6) Have you ever lived for at least a year as an adult in an American neighborhood in which the majority of your nearest 50 neighbors probably did not have college degrees?  <-- do you expect me to ask 50 of my neighbors?

My score...
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.

In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.

really? I scored 4 out of 20 questions.

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"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!

Offline N. De Plume

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #32 on: February 02, 2012, 07:33:21 am »
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.
But having all that and stocking the PBR does. ;)
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Offline Ranger_Joe

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #33 on: February 02, 2012, 11:36:21 am »
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 13 and 16.

In other words, you don't even have a bubble.

This was hilarious. I am about as far from the mainstream as you can get. These questions don't really indicate anything other than personal preference. It's more like a broad brush of "white things" that people do. The whole parade question said "That wasn't anti-war, gay pride, etc". Liberal ideas. Hilarious...

Edited for my explaination.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2012, 11:50:09 am by Ranger_Joe »
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Offline Scotsgit

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #34 on: February 02, 2012, 11:44:30 am »
I'm not getting the bit about the armed forces, is he saying they're all white?

(and I scored 10 out of 20)
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #35 on: February 02, 2012, 11:49:11 am »
I got a 5/20. Man, I better go do a bunch of white shit so I can improve my white score.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline Ranger_Joe

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #36 on: February 02, 2012, 11:52:19 am »
I got a 5/20. Man, I better go do a bunch of white shit so I can improve my white score.

We need to mayo all the things and watch Oprah. I could likely be more white, according to this guy. We can improve our whiteness as a team. Team Whitey! Team Cracker? ;D
Rangers Lead The Way..All The Way!

I would give a fuck, but I gave my last one to your mother last night.


Offline MaybeNever

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #37 on: February 02, 2012, 02:35:40 pm »
The Fightin' Whites!

"Great Britain's two most senior military officers added to the uneasiness. [...] Lord Wolseley, Adjutant General, thought that it might be possible for an enemy to invade without waiters and pastrycooks."
-Robert K. Massie, Dreadnought

Offline D Laurier

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #38 on: February 02, 2012, 03:07:22 pm »
On my mothers side I have a lot of scots irish ancestors, and one runnaway slave who's english still had a lot of african words.

On my father's side I'm metis.
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Offline Captain Jack Harkness

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #39 on: February 02, 2012, 03:15:33 pm »
I disagree DPD. Owning a pickup truck, liking fishing, and knowing who Jimmie Johnson is doesn't a redneck make.

Oh, is that who that was?
My friend's blog.  Check it out!

I blame/credit The Doctor with inspiring my name change.

Offline Jodie

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #40 on: February 02, 2012, 03:27:40 pm »
I am sure this has been asked already but WTF is White Culture???

Edit: Just did the quiz and got an 8 out of 20, though most of those questions could not apply to me (I am not American, I don't drink beer, and I have never purchased/owned a vehicle, etc).
« Last Edit: February 02, 2012, 03:35:31 pm by Jodie »
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Corinthians 13: 4-7

Offline Shane for Wax

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #41 on: February 02, 2012, 03:36:32 pm »
The beer thing doesn't apply to me because I've usually had the more microbrews or foreign beers and I did not feel that was very white to do. :P

&
"The human race. Greatest monsters of them all."
"Ke barjurir gar'ade, jagyc'ade kot'la a dalyc'ade kotla'shya."
Fucking Dalek twats I’m going to twat you over the head with my fucking TARDIS you fucking fucks!

Offline StallChaser

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #42 on: February 02, 2012, 04:21:11 pm »
My day as a white american:

It started when I took this survey that said I was in a bubble.  How do I break out?  I can just spend a day doing things to get "yes" answers.

I go to the convenience store to pick up a 24 pack of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes.  And back home.  Shouldn't I be going to work?  Hmm... I'll get to that later.

I crack open a beer and light a cig-  shit!  I forgot a lighter, so I light it off the stove.

I turn on the TV and switch to nascar.  One beer down.  I start a new one.  Cars are driving in circles.  I become bored and drink another beer.  My cigarette is out, so I need to relight another one on the stove.  Note to self: always keep more cigarettes around so I can use the previous one to light it.

I look at the list.  Church.  I drive to a church, drinking another beer in the process.  I smoke another cigarette.  I have to remind myself to get a lighter.

I try to make a friend at church.  That way I'll have a friend that's a fundamentalist christian I disagree with politically, to mark off 2 more yes answers in one shot.  All friendship attempts fail.  Something about rudeness in interrupting the sermon, reeking of tobacco, and slurring my wrods.  I'm forced to leave, but wait around drinking beer until peolpe leave church and someone does something known as "witnessing", and claims to be a friend triyng to "save" me.  Thsoe two things:  Check.

I'm hungry.  Appelbees soudns awesome right now!  I'm drunk, but I'm at that point where I'm relaly good at driving, nto too messed up that I'm impaired.  There is smoething like that, right?  Everyone else sukcs at driving, but whatever.  I get there, double park across two hanidcap spots an dwalk in.  I get in and ask for a "fucking bloomin' onion".  They say something about it being the worng resturant, but whatever.  Oprah is on.  Another thing on the checklist to become a super amerian.  I grunt and point to something on the menu.

Oprah is talking about some book when a nice girl arrvies with food.  I was hnugry, and she read my mind!  I'm in love ^_^ Oh yeh, I ordered that, huh?  Maybe this will sboer me up.  That was some really fucking awesome food, a lot better when you're drunk, and I'm sobered up a bit.  I finish watching Oprah and walk out.  I think I forgot something about paiyng, but it's too late now.  I crack open another beer and drive off.

...and carsh into a pole!  Fcuk, that pole jupmed out form nowhere!  goddmait!  Car won't strat adn is spilling smelly liquids everywhere.  I pull all my beers out of the car and strat walking.  Walking and drinkign.  I need a fucking cigarette.  Lighter!  I go to a conevnience store, hid the beers behind a bush to lighten the load and wlak in.  I grab a lighter and dump all the coins in my wlalet onto the counter.  Not enough, so I grap a dollar bill out of my wallet and toss it dwon.  But it was a Receipt.  OK.  ar eal dollar.  Nwo I can lihgt up.  also gte myslef a bag to carry the beers.

I pull out the list.  Greyhound bus and tranfsormers movie sound good.  I fnid the cheapest ticket and go on the bus, then to the movie thaeter and fnid out they dnot allow beer adn I have to fnish what I hvae before I go in.  I pnoud that shit lkie a champ and gte a mvoie ticket.  The plot mkaes no snese but awesome expolsions!  Dude, it wsa fcukng awsmoe!  I think I threw up on the folor at one poitn btu it was sticyk aynways so fcuk it.  I got out after movie endde and can't fnid where I parked.  Oh goddammit, I guses I am wakling.

I wake up having no idea where I am, what time it is, or where my car or pants are.  I have the worst splitting headache you could imagine.  My cell phone is near me, and I have angry text messages from everyone.  Near me is a list:

Quote
drink cheap beer and smoke cigarettes
Get injured at a factory job while wearing a uniform
shoot some varmints
go to rotory club meeting
parade
find fundie friend with political disagreements
Watch nascar and Oprah
watch transformers movie
join the military
ride a greyhound bus
disown my parents and claim a poor family as my own
make friend with someone incapable of passing high school
move to poor neighborhood

Iz I a white American?

Offline MaybeNever

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #43 on: February 02, 2012, 04:26:33 pm »
My day as a white american:

It started when I took this survey that said I was in a bubble.  How do I break out?  I can just spend a day doing things to get "yes" answers.

I go to the convenience store to pick up a 24 pack of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes.  And back home.  Shouldn't I be going to work?  Hmm... I'll get to that later.

I crack open a beer and light a cig-  shit!  I forgot a lighter, so I light it off the stove.

I turn on the TV and switch to nascar.  One beer down.  I start a new one.  Cars are driving in circles.  I become bored and drink another beer.  My cigarette is out, so I need to relight another one on the stove.  Note to self: always keep more cigarettes around so I can use the previous one to light it.

I look at the list.  Church.  I drive to a church, drinking another beer in the process.  I smoke another cigarette.  I have to remind myself to get a lighter.

I try to make a friend at church.  That way I'll have a friend that's a fundamentalist christian I disagree with politically, to mark off 2 more yes answers in one shot.  All friendship attempts fail.  Something about rudeness in interrupting the sermon, reeking of tobacco, and slurring my wrods.  I'm forced to leave, but wait around drinking beer until peolpe leave church and someone does something known as "witnessing", and claims to be a friend triyng to "save" me.  Thsoe two things:  Check.

I'm hungry.  Appelbees soudns awesome right now!  I'm drunk, but I'm at that point where I'm relaly good at driving, nto too messed up that I'm impaired.  There is smoething like that, right?  Everyone else sukcs at driving, but whatever.  I get there, double park across two hanidcap spots an dwalk in.  I get in and ask for a "fucking bloomin' onion".  They say something about it being the worng resturant, but whatever.  Oprah is on.  Another thing on the checklist to become a super amerian.  I grunt and point to something on the menu.

Oprah is talking about some book when a nice girl arrvies with food.  I was hnugry, and she read my mind!  I'm in love ^_^ Oh yeh, I ordered that, huh?  Maybe this will sboer me up.  That was some really fucking awesome food, a lot better when you're drunk, and I'm sobered up a bit.  I finish watching Oprah and walk out.  I think I forgot something about paiyng, but it's too late now.  I crack open another beer and drive off.

...and carsh into a pole!  Fcuk, that pole jupmed out form nowhere!  goddmait!  Car won't strat adn is spilling smelly liquids everywhere.  I pull all my beers out of the car and strat walking.  Walking and drinkign.  I need a fucking cigarette.  Lighter!  I go to a conevnience store, hid the beers behind a bush to lighten the load and wlak in.  I grab a lighter and dump all the coins in my wlalet onto the counter.  Not enough, so I grap a dollar bill out of my wallet and toss it dwon.  But it was a Receipt.  OK.  ar eal dollar.  Nwo I can lihgt up.  also gte myslef a bag to carry the beers.

I pull out the list.  Greyhound bus and tranfsormers movie sound good.  I fnid the cheapest ticket and go on the bus, then to the movie thaeter and fnid out they dnot allow beer adn I have to fnish what I hvae before I go in.  I pnoud that shit lkie a champ and gte a mvoie ticket.  The plot mkaes no snese but awesome expolsions!  Dude, it wsa fcukng awsmoe!  I think I threw up on the folor at one poitn btu it was sticyk aynways so fcuk it.  I got out after movie endde and can't fnid where I parked.  Oh goddammit, I guses I am wakling.

I wake up having no idea where I am, what time it is, or where my car or pants are.  I have the worst splitting headache you could imagine.  My cell phone is near me, and I have angry text messages from everyone.  Near me is a list:

Quote
drink cheap beer and smoke cigarettes
Get injured at a factory job while wearing a uniform
shoot some varmints
go to rotory club meeting
parade
find fundie friend with political disagreements
Watch nascar and Oprah
watch transformers movie
join the military
ride a greyhound bus
disown my parents and claim a poor family as my own
make friend with someone incapable of passing high school
move to poor neighborhood

Iz I a white American?

Dear sir,

Kindly meet me at your earliest convenience in the alley of your choosing for some hot hobosex as a reward for your excellence.

Regards,

Lord A. Hoboworthy III
"Great Britain's two most senior military officers added to the uneasiness. [...] Lord Wolseley, Adjutant General, thought that it might be possible for an enemy to invade without waiters and pastrycooks."
-Robert K. Massie, Dreadnought

Offline nickiknack

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Re: How White are you?
« Reply #44 on: February 02, 2012, 04:46:29 pm »
Are gay people suddenly not white?

No, they're 3 headed aliens with pink polka dot skin