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Author Topic: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge  (Read 16541 times)

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Offline ironbite

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Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« on: October 12, 2015, 08:10:50 pm »
Yeah so some douche nozzle decided that Millennials really aren't adults unless they take this bullshit pledge.  And besides one or two points that I kinda agree with if you look at 'em a certain way, it's mostly garbage.  TO THE LINKAGE!

Source: http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-erskine-20151010-column.html

And here's the pledge.

Quote
• I am entitled to nothing.

• I will show up on time.

• I will not shun comedians or college commencement speakers just because I don't agree with them.

• Just once, I will try driving without texting.

• Just once, I will try eating without texting.

• I will not consider the cilantro on my taco to be a vegetable.

• I will learn to laugh at everything, especially myself.

• When meeting someone for the first time, I will always look him or her in the eye.

• I will not burn bridges.

• I will not burn overpasses.

• Each year, I will pen at least one thank-you note, using what's left of my cursive writing skills.

• I will be resourceful, creative and authentic.

• I will vote. Always.

• I will (mostly) swear off smut.

• I will not be smut.

• I will learn all my siblings' names (even the younger ones).

• I will not spend an entire weekend exploring my own mouth with a coffee straw.

• I will learn to pick my battles.

• When I don't get my way, I will learn to roll with it.

• I will not go on a job interview in shorts and flip-flops, even if "this job is so beneath me."

• Nothing is beneath me.

 I promise not to misuse the word "literally." As in "I am literally dying of hunger" or "You are literally being so rude."

• If my first-born is a boy, I promise not to name him Uber.

• When I finally move out of my parents' home, I will not take all their vodka and half their towels.

• I will not use crowd-funding to pay for my first car.

• If I can't afford car insurance, I won't spend $20 a day on coffee.

• I won't give only gift cards for Christmas.

• I won't sneak texts during funerals even if it's "totally boring and the dead guy is just lying there anyway."

• At holiday dinners, I will leave my phone in my room.

• All those T-shirts? I will wash them.

• I will not use pepper spray to season a burrito.

• I will not run up my credit cards.

• I will save 10% of everything I earn.

• If I hate my new job, I will not fake my own death. I will give a full two weeks' notice like grown-ups usually do.

• I will force myself to finally make a phone call.

• In high school or college, I will get a part-time job. Even if it's beneath me.

• Again, nothing is beneath me.

• Well, most things are not beneath me.

• I promise not to text anything of life-changing significance: a marriage proposal, a divorce decree, a positive result.

• When I get my way, I will be grateful and not assume that I will always get my way.

• I will always remember Aristotle's quote: "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

• At least once a week, I will hug my mom the way I hug my friends every single time I see them.

• I will do nice things just because.

• I will live each day.

• I will sleep each night.

• I am entitled to nothing but that.

If you too take this pledge written by a 50 year old baby boomer with no sense of self, you too will be considered an adult by this douche.  Predictably, this backfired massively in his face.

Ironbite-what a self-entitled asshole.
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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2015, 08:14:41 pm »
Ah, the classic bashing on our generation. Because we're the source of all problems within this society.
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Quote from: lord gibbon on January 11, 2016, 12:42:28 am
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline The_Queen

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2015, 08:20:31 pm »
Yes, baby boomers, probably the most entitled generation in American history, bitching about millennials because we have to make due with none of the things they've taken for granted (respectable wages, heavily subsidized college, a decent economy).

Fuck him.
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Quote from: RavynousHunter on October 22, 2012, 10:07:56 pm
Does anyone take Donald Trump seriously, anymore?

Offline Svata

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2015, 08:22:15 pm »
About half of it is decent advice. The other half is just silly.
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Quote from: Barbarella on September 26, 2015, 12:41:08 am
"Politician" is the occupational equivalent of "Florida".

Offline nickiknack

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2015, 08:22:50 pm »
Only if Baby Boomers take this pledge. Baby Boomers are some of most over entitled whine babies in this country.
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Offline The_Queen

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2015, 08:23:32 pm »
Quote from: nickiknack on October 12, 2015, 08:22:50 pm
Only if Baby Boomers take this . Baby Boomers are some of most over entitled whine babies in this country.

Can't read it, more than 140 characters, too busy texting!
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Quote from: RavynousHunter on October 22, 2012, 10:07:56 pm
Does anyone take Donald Trump seriously, anymore?

Offline I am lizard

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2015, 08:27:52 pm »
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Offline Ultimate Paragon

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2015, 08:31:52 pm »
His self-awareness is dangerously low!  He needs some humble pie, stat!
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Offline mellenORL

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2015, 08:32:47 pm »
Classic, idiotic, get-offa-my-lawn old fart douchery, yes, but not made by a Baby Boomer, because you have to be born no later than 1960 to squeak by as the youngest possible Baby Boomer. Like me. See how I just factually distanced myself from that old prick? XD
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Offline nickiknack

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2015, 08:55:56 pm »
One the topic of what generation people belong to, I'm a hybrid Gen X/Millennial because my birth year(1982) overlaps both.
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Offline davedan

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2015, 09:04:52 pm »
1979 I've been told I'm both Gen X and Gen Y which must be true as I like both EDM and Grunge.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2015, 09:14:32 pm »
1990, so I'm apparently either Gen Y or Millennial, depending on which definition you go by.
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Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2015, 09:36:46 pm »
I am Generation...uh...Generation...Taco.  I am Generation Taco.  Because tacos rule.
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Offline Barbarella

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2015, 12:09:40 am »
Quote from: Svata on October 12, 2015, 08:22:15 pm
About half of it is decent advice. The other half is just silly.

Same here. Some points are fine but others are stupid and some can be applied to boomers when they were kids. They gave us rock music, hippies and the sexual revolution, for crying out loud!

A quote....Boomer-fied!

• If my first-born is a boy, I promise not to name him Uber.
• If my first-born is a boy, I promise not to name him Dweezil/Starshine/MojoRisin'/Spock.

Okay, I know most weren't groovy hippies and yes, many did screw the next generation over.



Some of this guy's pledge is stupid......I'll comment on the stupid ones......

• I will not burn overpasses.
What does this mean?

• I will (mostly) swear off smut.
Cuz' sexy-stuff is evil! EVIIIILLLL!

• I will not be smut.
How can a person BE smut? Also, if you're responsible and use protection, sexual freedom is fine. We need "Ethical Sluts", not repressive prudes.

• I will learn all my siblings' names (even the younger ones).
Is this a thing? How can you forget your sibling's names? Parents forget their kid's names all the time!

• I will not spend an entire weekend exploring my own mouth with a coffee straw.
What is this?! If he means chewing a coffee straw, people have been chewing toothpicks for centuries!

• I won't give only gift cards for Christmas.
Scuse me? Some people aren't multi-gazillionares and some have a hard time figuring out what to get certain people. When grandma got you that butt-ugly sweater, wouldn't you wish she got you a card, instead? Look, I get it; There's nothing more magical than ripping open wrapping paper....but this is nit-picking!

• I will not use pepper spray to season a burrito.
Goofing around on YouTube or being a FAUX Noise anchorwoman is not being a millennial!

• If I hate my new job, I will not fake my own death. I will give a full two weeks' notice like grown-ups usually do.
One or two people being crazy is not a world-wide hip new youth trend!

Some of these are complaining about weird behavior and assuming all kids are doing it.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2015, 12:15:19 am by Barbarella »
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Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: Take the Pledge, the Millennial Pledge
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2015, 12:13:39 am »
Barb, you basically summed up every "this latest generation is FUCKED, I say!" rant any crotchety old fucker has had ever.
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Quote from: Bra'tac
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