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There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a good taint punching.
Santorum Raped by Goat*Said goat was probably a liberal and a MuslimPalestine is granted statehood by the UN.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.
Liberal Terrorists Commit Infamous Act of Vandlism Resulting in Losses of Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars to the East India Company.Rick Perry doesn't know how to read.
Obama attempts to corrupt hardworking Amish with socialism.Somebody clones Jesus, Hitler, and a Tyrannosaurus rex, then puts Jesus's brain in Hitler's body, puts Hitler's brain in the T-Rex's body, and puts the T-Rex's brain in Jesus's body.
God testing his people.The Chinese buy News Corp.
Pardon the interruption, good sir/lady; there are aspects of your behavior that I find quite unbecoming, and I must insist most strenuously that I be permitted to assist in resolving these behaviors through the repeated high-velocity cranial introduction of particularly firm building materials.
GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE OR I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS!