Author Topic: Thread Killer  (Read 335806 times)

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Offline Sleepy

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2625 on: December 04, 2015, 11:11:32 pm »
Scissor me timbers.
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

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Offline Askold

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2626 on: December 05, 2015, 01:26:15 am »
Scissor me timbers.
...You have a girlfriend called "timbers?" Or is it just a nickname.

...How does one get a nickname like that? Is it because it is really easy to make her fall for you? Is she so big that if she trips people have to shout a warning or someone might be crushed beneath her? If latter isn't that just an insult on how promiscuous she is?

But that's just slut-shaming and Timbers is a grown woman and if she wants to scissor random people then it's her choice (and the choice of her sexual partners' of course) and at this time and age people really should stop slut-shaming women. (And the double standard on people thinking it is "manly" for men to have lots of sexual partner but shameful for women.)

...Of course of "Timbers" isn't an adult woman and merely an underage girl things are a bit different.

...But maybe I'm overthinking the ramifications of your statement. ...Also, I may or may not be pulling your leg. (Which would be detrimental to anyone scissoring you if it wasn't just a metaphor.)
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2627 on: December 05, 2015, 11:28:56 pm »
I suppose you could call Timbers my girlfriend. I met her a year ago when I was at sea under Captain Hark during one of our expeditions. We ended up boarding the ship Hades' Grail because Hark held a longstanding grudge against its captain - probably due to a barfight or something equally trivial. I felt fairly remorseful in conducting an unprovoked attack, but Hark threatened to gut us otherwise.

Anyway, we hopped aboard the ship and killed everyone, including the captain. Or at least, we thought we did. While we were still looting his chests, the ship's mast came crashing down, crushing three of our men. I investigated and found her there - the only surviving Hades' Grail crew member, and we'd somehow missed her. Probably due to her sly ways. I was ready to gut her just as well once I cornered her, but she instead asked to join our crew. Hark initially refused, but I promised him that she'd be useful, given what she pulled during our battle. At last she joined us, and I insisted we change her name from "Lily" to something much more fitting, hence the name "Timbers." To this day, we "share" a cabin on our ship. Our crew mates give us the eye on occasion, but I find it rather amusing.

(click to show/hide)
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline Askold

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2628 on: December 06, 2015, 05:33:08 pm »
This doesn't quite fit into the annoyance thread since it was just mildly amusing: I was looking for some wallpaper/image to put on a FB group of my rpg and while googling for city ruins (can't remember the exact list of words I used) I also found a random picture of that meme-wrestler Cena in front of such ruins as well as a MLP/Fallout wallpaper. Good to see that the Bronies are still energetic and making up weird stuff. Not sure about the wrestler, the first I heard about that meme was people complaining about the meme and it seems to be the equivalent of Rickroll or Goatse in the way people are using it AND how people react to it.
No matter what happens, no matter what my last words may end up being, I want everyone to claim that they were:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Aww, you guys rock. :)  I feel the love... and the pitchforks and torches.  Tingly!

Offline Ultimate Paragon

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2629 on: December 12, 2015, 11:09:21 pm »
I have Meat Loaf songs running through my head.

Offline Sleepy

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2630 on: December 13, 2015, 08:25:26 pm »
When you're flipping through the channels trying to help your grandmother find HGTV and you land on porn. Someone please stab me (and eat my corpse, if you feel like it).
Guys, this is getting creepy. Can we talk about cannibalism instead?

If a clown eats salmon on Tuesday, how much does a triangle weigh on Jupiter? Ask Mr. Wiggins for 10% off of your next dry cleaning bill. -Hades

Offline Svata

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2631 on: December 13, 2015, 09:57:41 pm »
Yay! Corpses!
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Offline lord gibbon

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2632 on: December 13, 2015, 10:08:56 pm »
And once again, cannibalism takes the stage!
Excuse me, sir, do you have a minute to talk about your lord and savior, Hannibal Barca?

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Yeah, if the pagans are so smart, why did Jesus invade Pagan-land on the back of a dragon and kill them all!

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2633 on: December 13, 2015, 10:09:14 pm »
When you're flipping through the channels trying to help your grandmother find HGTV and you land on porn. Someone please stab me (and eat my corpse, if you feel like it).

.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Offline Zygarde

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2634 on: December 13, 2015, 10:55:38 pm »
...Wow, that must have sucked, and I mean that literally if it was an oral sex scene.

Offline Ultimate Paragon

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2635 on: December 28, 2015, 12:17:15 am »
If we're all God's children, and Jesus was God's only son, does that mean we're all women?

Offline guizonde

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2636 on: December 28, 2015, 05:34:14 am »
incest! keepin' it in the family!
@ guizonde: I think I like the way you think.
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Offline Veras

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2637 on: January 10, 2016, 09:01:21 am »
I work at Barnes & Noble.  Last night, I had a shift in the cafe, and one woman ordered a hot drink with whipped cream.  I made it, put the lid on it, and gave it to her.  She looked confused, and asked why there wasn't any whipped cream.  I told her that there was whipped cream on it (I still had the canister on the counter--I knew that I hadn't forgotten).  She said, "Oh, is it under the lid?" and took the lid off to check.

For the life of me, I still can't figure out what she expected.  Where else would it have been?
RIP Tony Benn (1925 - 2014)

"There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons."

“If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people.”

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Offline The_Queen

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2638 on: January 10, 2016, 11:19:29 pm »
I work at Barnes & Noble.  Last night, I had a shift in the cafe, and one woman ordered a hot drink with whipped cream.  I made it, put the lid on it, and gave it to her.  She looked confused, and asked why there wasn't any whipped cream.  I told her that there was whipped cream on it (I still had the canister on the counter--I knew that I hadn't forgotten).  She said, "Oh, is it under the lid?" and took the lid off to check.

For the life of me, I still can't figure out what she expected.  Where else would it have been?

On your cock?
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Offline davedan

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Re: Thread Killer
« Reply #2639 on: January 10, 2016, 11:26:16 pm »
Yeah not putting it on your cock was a bit of a rookie mistake. Because when she asked where it was you could have whipped it out and asked her to help herself to cream.