Author Topic: Gay man barred from adopting a cat  (Read 983 times)

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Offline Tolpuddle Martyr

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Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« on: November 16, 2018, 05:54:36 am »

Offline ironbite

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2018, 09:03:45 am »
This was a wild ride from start to finish.

Ironbite-like....the entire thing is insane.q

Offline KingOfRhye

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2018, 11:08:59 am »
That last question in the text really annoys me.  "Are you not afraid of going to hell?"  Like the guy never even thought of the possibilities that the gay man could either not believe in hell, or believes in it but doesn't think he's going to end up there?  Does he assume that the guy thinks (like someone in a Chick tract) something along the lines of "oh, I'm gonna to go to Hell cus I'm gay, but that's cool"?

Offline Bob J.

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2018, 06:33:23 pm »
"Are you not afraid of going to hell?"

Dearest Unsaved,

I have recently been informed that you will be having an extended stay with us.

I have taken the liberty of making a reservation for You on the terrace of the Caldera Cafe. Your table has a wonderful view of the famed Lake of Fire.

You may have read of the negative reviews by Dante and others. Let me assure You that many change have been made in recent years. The work of literally thousands of engineers and scientist has well as artists and musician have totally transformed Hell. Power generated from the Lake of Fire now provides air conditioning, air purification, and our impressive sound system. Speaking of which we have a long-term contract with Queen for Monday nights (no more of that American football).

Speaking of entertainment, we also have a cultural exchange program with Valhalla on Thor’s day. Boy do those folks know how to party.

On to the menu, I hope Your sin was gluttony. Many quest tell us it is such torment reading the menu, Deviled Eggs, Shrimp Diablo, or Pigs-in-a-Blanket? Margaritas with Kosher salt? Yes, it may be torment to choose, but hey there is always tomorrow.
Bread and wine available on request.

Your obedient Master,
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You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ―Obi-Wan Kenobi

Offline KingOfRhye

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2018, 07:08:22 pm »
Speaking of which we have a long-term contract with Queen for Monday nights (no more of that American football).

Hey, do they have DVRs in Hell?  If I can record Monday Night Raw to watch later, I'm all good.   :P

Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2018, 08:03:20 pm »
Well, you know, slippery slope. If you let the gays adopt cats soon we'll be adopting babies

(side note: apparently the cats never existed in the first place? so uh is the person in question actually homophobic enough that they wouldn't adopt the cats out even if they were real or were they just looking for an excuse to reject him...?)
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Offline Askold

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2018, 03:11:12 am »
If "the gays" can adopt cats then soon they will OWN cats. And you know where that leads to... Soon they will be buying catfood. And toys. And posting pictures of their cats online. Then the hurricanes will come. There may be few more steps in between those two things happening but the causality is apparent.
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Offline RavynousHunter

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2018, 09:15:16 am »
I gotcha, Askold.

The cats will eat the food.  Naturally, this will make the cats poop, which releases methane.  Methane is a greenhouse gas that warms up the planet.  This increases ocean temperatures, making stronger storms more likely and more capable of sustaining themselves for longer.  But wait, I'm not done.  The cat pictures are an obvious drain on the nation's electrical grid, meaning that we're going to need to burn yet more fossil fuels to provide enough electricity to keep the data centers where all the cat pictures lie online.  This also pumps greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, warming the planet even more.  When the methane and CO2 get pumped into the atmosphere and everything starts getting warmer, the hurricanes will come because everything is getting hotter.  All because gays were allowed to adopt cats.
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Offline niam2023

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2018, 04:56:08 pm »
...And if gay men own cats, then they are owning a pussy cat. Pussy. Cat. That is literally one word away from pussy. Which would mean we are one word away from gay men stealing our wives. Yes this makes absolutely no sense...but what if it DID!?!?
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Offline Art Vandelay

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2018, 05:07:00 pm »
Because fags are gross, but it's totally fine and not at all bigoted because my imaginary friend agrees with me. As such, they don't get to have cats because it's what Jesus would've wanted.

Offline rookie

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2018, 09:00:47 am »
You know, as much fun as this is, we lost sight of something. This man was trying to adopt an animal and was turned down because because he's gay, right? I have to say that is very far from the dumbest reason I've seen to get "disqualified" from adopting an animal. For example, working a full time job I've seen do it. I've seen an Irish brogue stop someone (the worker was worried the dog wouldn't understand a different accent). I've seen things as stupid as a zip code, type of vehicle, number of stairs in the house, and age (too young and too old both) all be disqualifying things. I have not seen anyone work so hard as animal rescuers when stopping someone from adopting an animal.

Disclaimer: Many, maybe even most, animal rescuers are good kind hearted people who are doing a thankless job involving working with the worst of humanity. Many, maybe even most are perfectly sane rational people who are doing the best job they can for their charges.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2018, 10:48:13 am »
Now that I converted back to Catholicism, I feel that I should comment on this. Barring homosexuals from adopting pets is a good way to blackmail them to stop having homosexual relations and repent of their sins. Only let them adopt the pet if they agree to stop having homosexual relations.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 10:50:38 am by Jacob Harrison »

Offline Eiki-mun

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2018, 10:57:42 am »
Now that I converted back to Catholicism, I feel that I should comment on this. Barring homosexuals from adopting pets is a good way to blackmail them to stop having homosexual relations and repent of their sins. Only let them adopt the pet if they agree to stop having homosexual relations.

Jesus Christ on a stick. And you wonder why you aren't converting anyone. Have you listened to yourself? Like, really stopped and thought about what you sound like to other people?

Because trust me, to me you sound like a monster.
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Offline Jacob Harrison

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2018, 11:03:35 am »
Now that I converted back to Catholicism, I feel that I should comment on this. Barring homosexuals from adopting pets is a good way to blackmail them to stop having homosexual relations and repent of their sins. Only let them adopt the pet if they agree to stop having homosexual relations.

Jesus Christ on a stick. And you wonder why you aren't converting anyone. Have you listened to yourself? Like, really stopped and thought about what you sound like to other people?

Because trust me, to me you sound like a monster.

Don't blame the messenger. I am just preaching what GOD says about homosexual behavior. I am trying to be helpful to homosexuals by proposing a strategy on how to cause them to repent. It is helpful to them because getting them to repent and stop having homosexual relations saves them from damnation.

Offline rookie

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Re: Gay man barred from adopting a cat
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2018, 12:51:48 pm »
I don't know if this is still a thing, but Direct Question: Book, chapter, and verse for justification on why you should withhold adopting animals for any reason.
The difference between 0 and 1 is infinite. The difference between 1 and a million is a matter of degree. - Zack Johnson

Quote from: davedan board=pg thread=6573 post=218058 time=1286247542
I'll stop eating beef lamb and pork the same day they start letting me eat vegetarians.