It wasn't today, but I've been too busy to post about it until today:
I'm now a father! My son was born at 6:15 PM on Thursday, August 18, 2016. The labor was rough and it ultimately ended in a c-section, so it will take some time for my wife to recover, but we got what we wanted: healthy mommy, healthy baby.
It's weird, I never wanted kids, but I had to run some errands today and it only took me being away for maybe 20 minutes before I started missing him, so apparently I was wrong about that.