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I'd be more sympathetic if people here didn't act like they knew what they were saying when they were saying something very much wrong.
Commenter Brendan Rizzo is an American (still living there) who really, really hates America. He used to make posts defending his country from anti-American attacks but got fed up with it all.
Her3tik, you have groupies.
There are a number of ways, though my favourite is simply to take them by surprise. They're just walking down the street, minding their own business when suddenly, WHACK! Penis to the face.