Petty Prayers

[Captain Jack Harkness]

So I posted about my grandma making a prayer over a fucking video game cartridge, and shortly after, I thought of this thread.

This thread is dedicated to all of the most inane and petty fucking prayers you've heard that just make you want to raeg.

[Lithp]

Any time someone prays for my salvation or what the fuck ever. Most notably that time on RR where the guy prayed God would break what I assume is my legs.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Any time someone prays for my salvation or what the fuck ever. Most notably that time on RR where the guy prayed God would break what I assume is my legs.

Wow.  I would be surprised, but like I said in my OP, my grandma fucking prayed over a fucking NES cartridge, and then when I made sure to press on the cage to be sure there was a good electrical connection, she said "Thank God!"

If this weren't so religious in nature, I'd have put this in F&B.  I just...really need a session in the angry dome right now.

[Art Vandelay]

That's God for you. He doesn't give a shit about famine, war, human trafficking (i.e. slavery) or any of that good stuff, but damned if he's going to stand by and let some old lady have to restart her NES before she can play Mario Bros.

[Eniliad]

When I was a Xian, I said a lot of stupid fucking prayers over the stupidest shit. I can't recall them off the top of my head, but it was mundane things like finding missing items, doing well on tests, etc... I would pray for more important things too, but the stupid shit just makes me facepalm.

[The Right Honourable Mlle Antéchrist]

One of the dumbest I've heard involved a person who was late for work, so they prayed for light traffic and no red lights.

[Osama bin Bambi]

When I was little my grandmother told me that we should pray to God before we go to bed so that he'll make the sun rise tomorrow, because where does the sun go when we're not looking at it?

[Eniliad]

When I was little my grandmother told me that we should pray to God before we go to bed so that he'll make the sun rise tomorrow, because where does the sun go when we're not looking at it?

[StallChaser]

Any form of praying to win a sports game.  For nobody to get injured, I could understand, but not praying to beat the other team.

[TheL]

Praying for an A on a test you didn't study for.  Saw it a lot in high school.

The other resort of the desperate and lazy was to program cheat sheets into graphing calculators.

[clockworkgirl21]

When I was little my grandmother told me that we should pray to God before we go to bed so that he'll make the sun rise tomorrow, because where does the sun go when we're not looking at it?

My grandma always had to pray, "If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take." I began fearing dying in my sleep.

[SCarpelan]

When I was little my grandmother told me that we should pray to God before we go to bed so that he'll make the sun rise tomorrow, because where does the sun go when we're not looking at it?

My grandma always had to pray, "If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take." I began fearing dying in my sleep.

My mother taught us the same prayer. Luckily the Finnish version of the prayer uses an euphemism to refer to dying and uses an old-fashioned phrasing which meant that I didn't really understand it well enough to be afraid. When I grew up a bit and realized the meaning of the prayer I was fairly creeped out by it.

[Shane for Wax]

Goddess I remember that prayer. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

There are apparently a load of other versions

[Askold]

I actually like that prayer. I still do it every time before I go to sleep. And occasionally the Lord's Prayer.

But I have never prayed for stuff like passing a school exam or finding my keys etc. It would be kinda silly.

[Sleepy]

Goddess I remember that prayer. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

There are apparently a load of other versions

I used to say that prayer when I was little, and I was occasionally frightened by the "if I should die before I wake" line. Not sure why I ever said it...probably because after that I did the "God bless mommy and daddy and..." portion, and it made me feel better.