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Author Topic: Wishes Will Be Corrupted  (Read 400259 times)

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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1590 on: April 19, 2013, 07:41:59 am »
Granted, your new job involved cleaning the toilets with your tongue.

I wish my feet weren't so itchy.
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Offline Zygarde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1591 on: April 19, 2013, 02:26:38 pm »
Granted your balls are now.


I wish my dog wasn't sick
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1592 on: April 19, 2013, 03:18:05 pm »
Granted, your dog is now dead.

I wish fundies would actually help the poor and homeless instead of setting up "charities" that send most of the money to their own pockets.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1593 on: April 19, 2013, 03:21:15 pm »
Granted, but their idea of "help" is to distribute free pamphlets and tell people about how they deserve to be poor because Ayn Rand says so. So, nothing changes, really.

I wish for a pet wombat.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline guizonde

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1594 on: April 19, 2013, 06:41:25 pm »
granted, it has rabies and an irrascible disposition. it's also dead. and polka dotted with lime green. it only answers to the name "beloved benito".

i wish for more loudness
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Offline Sigmaleph

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1595 on: April 19, 2013, 11:47:01 pm »
Granted. You can now only speak through yelling.

I wish for the ability to trick James Randi into giving me a million dollars without actually having supernatural powers.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1596 on: April 20, 2013, 02:51:05 am »
Granted. Unfortunately, your performance is so good that it convinces him to upend his worldview entirely. He becomes young-earth creationism's next big spokesman. Great job, Skippy!

I wish to be as funny as the entirety of Monty Python put together.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline ThunderWulf

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1597 on: April 20, 2013, 09:39:48 am »
Granted, but you're locked in a padded room and nobody will ever know.

I wish that I had a separate dresser just for band tees.
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Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1598 on: April 20, 2013, 09:55:26 am »
Granted. But it's filled with Nickleback tees. MUAHAHAHAAHhaha...

I wish my pets would live just as long as me.
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BITCHES! YOU BITCHES! Killing me won't bring back your God damn honey!

Offline Patches

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1599 on: April 20, 2013, 10:12:15 am »
Granted.  You die at age 15.

I wish I knew when gas prices were going up so I could fill up beforehand.
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Art Vandelay

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1600 on: April 20, 2013, 10:26:06 am »
Granted, your car now runs on horse semen. That may or may not be a tad more expensive...

I wish for some marshmallow cream.
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Offline Auggziliary

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1601 on: April 20, 2013, 04:06:24 pm »
Granted, but it's tainted with some rat poison. At least you die happy.

I wish I had super strength
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Offline Random Gal

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1602 on: April 20, 2013, 06:21:40 pm »
Granted, you're so strong that you can't have sex without accidentally killing your partner.

I wish my cat would stop hating me for going away to college.
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Offline R. U. Sirius

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1603 on: April 20, 2013, 06:31:59 pm »
Granted. Now it constantly tries to mate with you.

I wish pokemon were real.
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If you look at it logically, cannibalism has great potential to simultaneously solve our overpopulation and food shortage problems.

Offline Patches

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Re: Wishes Will Be Corrupted
« Reply #1604 on: April 20, 2013, 06:42:58 pm »
Granted, however they are vigorously invasive species and end up destroying the ecosystem.

I wish I could take a trip in the TARDIS.
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